Sometimes people like to debate just to debate. And sometimes they have a few valid points that can be in-arguable. I have not written this post because I am saying anything bad about our Prophet (pbuh). May Allah save me from that. Ameen. All i can say is that our Prophet had troubles spending a life in polygamy. He (pbuh) is perfect, no one like him, he managed to deal with it. But I don`t think any men can deal with those issues that occur in a life of Polygamy without falling into trouble quarrels and jealousy between the wives, money-issues, not having enough time and to deal justly between them. I am going to give examples of the Prophets life were his wife made trouble for him, living in Polygamy. It is a mans choice to do what he wants with his life, i am only going to warn about the troubles that can arise and issues about it. Another point to be noted is that in some countries like Norway and Scandinavia, one can be put to jail if one practices polygamy and get caught by the police. So in that case one has to move to an islamic country instead.
A companion of the Prophet (pbuh) narrates that whenever any gift was brought to him he would immediately send it to some woman who had been a friend of Khadijah Ra. Aisha Ra, says that whenever a goat was slaughtered the Prophet (pbuh) would send some meat to Khadijahs friends: when she remarked about this on one occasion he (pbuh) told her:
“I have great regard for her friends, as she has a special place in my heart”.
Aisha Ra said she never experienced such a feeling of natural feminine jealousy for any other wife of the Prophet (pbuh) as she did for Khadijah Ra.
Allah has revealed the following ayat: ” O Prophet (pbuh)! Say to your wives: if you desire the life of this world and its glitter, then come! I will make a provision for you and set you free in a handsome manner (divorce) But if you desire Allah and His Messenger, and the home of the hereafter, then verily, Allah has prepared for the good-doers among you an enormous reward”. (Quran 33-28-29). some of the wives of the Prophet (pbuh) had ben used to a luxurious life style before marriage, and when they saw that there were riches and comforts to be had, they presented a request for their allowances to be suitable reviewed and increased. This desire of his wives for wordly comforts disturbed the Prophet (pbuh). He declared that for one month he would separate himself from his wives, and he went into seclusion in the little room above the apartment of Aishah Ra. The whole city was buzzing with the gossip that he had divorced his wives.
Among the Mothers of the believers Aishah Ra, Umm Habibah Ra, Saudah Ra and Hafsa Ra all belonged to the tribe of Quraish. The others came from different tribes. Everyday afte asr-prayer, the Prophet would visit them all for a little while to see if they needed anything.; the time of the visits was routine and each would wait eagerly for his arrival. On several occasions, it so happened that he spent more time with Zainab Ra. This upset Aisha Ra, and she spoke about it to Hafsah Ra and Sauda Ra. They got together and found out that certain relative had sent Zainab Ra a special kind of honey and she used to offer it to the Prophet (pbuh) everyday. This was his favourite and he used to be delayed in her apartment, enjoying it. Aisha Ra was so fond of the Prophet (pbuh) that she could not bear for him to be late coming to her apartment. Because of her regard to him (pbuh) she could not object directly. So she consulted with the other two – Hafsa Ra and Sauda Ra and they decided that when he came to each of them by turn, they would all say that there was a strange smell emanating from his mouth. When he heard the same thing from all three of them he thought it was due to the honey he had, and decided to give it up for good. If this had been an incident in the life of an ordinary person it would have been of no consequence. But this was with the last Prophet of Allah (pbuh) and his every word and every action would become the law or shariah for all muslims for all time to come. Thus it had a special significance. So Allah rebuked him (pbuh) in ayat of Surah At-Tahreem:
” O Prophet! Why do you forbid for yourself that which Allah has allowed to you, seeking to please your wives? And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful” (Quran 66:1).
It was about the same time that the Prophet (pbuh) confided a secret matter to Hafsah Ra, and warned her not to speak to anyone about it. But she told Aisha Ra, Allah then revealed to the Prophet (pbuh) what happened.
When Juwariyah Ra was brought to Aisha Ra, Aisha Ra said that her heart sank when she saw her, because she was so pretty. “By Allah, I had scarcely seen her in the doorway of my room before i disliked her!”. She recalled later: ” I knew he (pbuh) would see her as I did”. Sure enough, The Prophet (pbuh) asked to marry Juwariyah Ra and she accepted Islam, thus the enemy became an ally. But Aisha Ra is said to have always nurtured a certain jealousy towards her.
A few has, however, believe that Allah has in fact forbidden plural marriages, on the grounds that it is impossible for a man to deal justly between co-wives. Allah says:
” You will not be able to deal equally between wives, however much you may wish to”. (Quran 4:129)
A hadeeth in tirmidhi and Abu Dawod says:
” When a man has two wives and he does not observe equality and deals unfairly with them, he will come before the Throne of Justice with only half of his body”.
Given human nature the pitfalls are many and varied, and no one should enter upon this kind of marriage unless there is a compelling moral rather than a selfish reason for it, and the full and intelligent consent of all parties has been obtained. Anything else is likely to end in disaster.