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It’s very interesting how elders, aunties and uncles are. When it comes to their son, they want their son to have the “upper hand” in the marriage, always. When it comes to their daughter, they want their daughter to have the “upper hand” in the marriage. The elders want their own children to decide. Most of them have learned this from the culture (society). If we as practising muslim look at it in the light of quran and sunnah of ‎ﷺ they have told us how rights and responsabilities is to be shared between husband and wife in a marriage. If husband and wife fulfil their duties towards each other, In sha Allah they will have a blessed life. When we deviate from islam to culture, many problems arise. Ya Allah, protect every marriage. Aamen. Ya Allah, grant every spouse to fulfil their duties towards each other with goodwill. Aamen. Protect us from following culture when it misguides us away from Islam. Aamen 

positive parents, children, upbringingGood and bad health is in the hands of our Creator. There is also something we have in our hands to change the situation. Many people know the right of the parents and talk and praise those who treat them well. Though we need to talk more about how parents should treat their children also. Their childhood shape them for their adulthood. If we want them to be good contributors as adults, we nee to know how to mould them into what we want them to become. I have a few thoughts about this, I would like to share.

Children Above Their Age

Children need to learn the parents rights. The parents also should be aware of the children’s rights. If a childs` opinion is validated, and their parents make them feel like they can contribute to the conversation, even with their little intellect at the moment. They would be able to, see with amazement, that many times children say words that are above their age, and good for the conversation. It is the parents that build the childs` confidence in the beginning. Just like any spouse want un-divided attention, children also need a good dose of positive attention, love, care and nurture from their parents. If the parents are able to show this in a good way, they help build healthy people who are an asset for the community and the people they interact with.

parents recognize childrens abilites and efforts,Don`t Downplay Their Abilities

It is so easy to for a parent to say to a child, don`t be disrespectful. Though the parents must also realize that if you treat he/she with respect, and teach them how to behave in a good way, with encouragement, they will. If the only way to get any attention is when children does something wrong, of course, the child that need validation, would do anything for it. To bring out good qualities in our children, we must comment positively and take out time to listen to them and reason with them, to help them think good. Not only teaching them what to think, but how to think right. Don`t downplay their abilities. That is where they learn to downplay their own abilities, in their relations as adults. At the time a child is born, it is like a white sheet. Whatever it becomes and how it behaves depends on the values that are cultivated in him/her. The parents need to realize their responsibilities before it is too late. Encourage your children and see them blossom. Build confidence and self-esteem while keeping them humble and filled with humility and gratefulness. Knowing that good would not happen to them without the will and help of Allah and hard work. When they don`t win the game, appreciate their efforts, because they worked hard. We need to raise children that will be good for the community, muslims and non muslims, but most importantly, good for Islam. May Allah help all elders and children value and respect each other and fulfil their rights and obligations towards each other in a sunnah way and help them become resourceful for the community and to each other.

dont look down on othersNo one is perfect. Each and every person has some good qualities and some bad qualities in them. Some has more of the good and less of the bad, other have the other way around. What it boils down to is that sometimes you see some person doing something you dislike. You know the person has so much potential and can really do a lot better than that, all he/she needs is a little guidance from some brother or sister. Than you need to talk to that person somehow. If you can and you want to help, you should of course give it a try, but only with the right intention backing you up.

 

Are you superior?

If for instance you are correcting someone just to show your own superiority over that person, in a way you are saying, you have these and these faults, I am so much better that you, do that like this or that, it most probably won`t help that person. You cannot look down on other people you want to correct. If you do that, and they find out, by the attitude you are dealing with them, they most probably won`t listen to you. You need to in some way let them understand that you are here to help, because they have so much potential, if it is used right, can move mountains.


Positivity boost

A lot of us may sometimes need a push in the right direction from time to time. You need to fill them with positive boost, once in a while. That can make them see that even one voice can make a difference.

 

Check your intentions

One thing is for sure, if you don`t have the right intention of helping and are looking for personal gain, than the intention is what will either count it as a good deed or not. If you sincerely want to help, than let other people whom may be down see that they are human beings with a lot of worth and good values but haven`t gotten the right push from their surroundings so that they also can blossom and become a rose. They need to develop a sence of self-worth. That their opinions are important and that they can make a difference.

 

Correct mistakes privately

Another important thing is that you cannot correct a person in public. If you do that the person most probably won`t listen to you ever again. Whenever you want to correct someone respect them, do it privately, so that they don`t feel that you are telling the whole world about their faults. There is not a person out there whom doesn`t have some good and bad characteristics in them.This is something people learn from a very young age. That when their parents want to correct them they don`t do it in front of guests. Or that your spouse doesn`t correct you in front of their family. Or that your friends don`t talk ill of you in front of others. Especially when they think they are behaving funny. No one can have fun on some others extent. That is wrong. Don`t laugh at someone but rather laugh with someone.

 

Balance the negative with something positive

One more thing is that sometimes the young generation might want to correct an elder, how should one do that? One should try to speak in a way that, you tell the person a positive thing about them and then a less positive, so it balances up. If you always come with the negative and never say anything positive than the balance would be rather negative and the person would become upset. There is not one person out there whom doesn`t have anything good about them. We and I`m counting in myself, need to become better in finding the positive things in people when we talk to them.

 

Positive people have a bigger responsibility

People with positive surroundings may not find this that difficult, so they have a bigger responsibility to share the positivism more. They will only gain in this. Because it`s always like this that what you give to other you get back one way or the other, if you spread positivity than that would come back to you one day, inshaAllah ameen.

 

We can make a difference

Let`s join in hands to single out the faults and spread positivity and try to lit up a sad soul, that needs someone to talk to, without bringing them down. It`s not always the youth that need this the most, sometimes it could also be some of the elders in the family as well.

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My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

Poetry

(“,) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (“,)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

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