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verden-i-blomster-world-in-flowersNestekjærlighet finnes i alle religioner. Være en flott borger, nabo, venn, kollega, medmenneske, familie. Å praktisere medmenneskelighet går på tvers av kultur, religion, kjønn, etniske bakgrunn. Når man viser godhet/omtanke om andre via medmenneskelighet så betyr det som oftest ikke at en er forelsket i det menneske. Det betyr kun at du ønsker at det menneske skal leve et godt liv. Ønske et godt liv til andre, slik som en ønsker for seg selv, viser at vi har et godt hjerte. Å rekke ut en hånd til noen som trenger det, er det som får verden til å gå rundt. Nestekjærlighet og positivitet. Uten dette i et samfunn, hadde det blitt tøft å overleve. Jeg er så takknemlige for at det finnes mange ok mennesker her i verden. 👍

Og du som leser dette er en av dem 🙂

Hvis det ikke er lov med klaps på rompa, klyping i øret og det å ta et barn hardt i armen, hvilke sanksjoner kan foreldre iverksette for å oppdra bra barn? Vi ser jo at dagens barn ofte er ganske bortskjemte og uoppdragne. 
Spørsmålet er om de sanksjoner barnevernet mener vi bør bruke, faktisk virker? Det finnes jo et stort spekter innenfor barnets personlighet. Alle barn kan ikke oppdras på lik måte. Noen barn er vanskeligere enn andre barn. Vil for “snille” sanskjoner gi noe effekt i oppdragelsen? 

Mange synes at barnevernets regler ift oppdragelse er for strenge og urimelige og noe av årsaken til at barna blir “ute av kontroll”. 

Det er stor forskjell mellom å slå et barn sanseløst til det blør/får blåveis e.l og en ørefik eller klyp i armen for at de skal oppføre seg i en gitt situasjon. Hvordan er barna i norge idag? Tar myndighetene for stor kontroll over oppdragelsen? Tåler staten for lite? Er det forskjell på hvordan barna blir ift de som aldri har blitt slått og de som får et klyp/ørefik i ny og ne. 

Jeg tror at av de som i barndommen har opplevd et klyp/ørefik/holde armen hardt e.l idag som voksne, føler at de har hatt godt av det. Ift de som ikke har fått slike sanskjoner. Jeg tror de er kommet bedre ut av en slik oppdragelse. Barn som blir oppdratt for “snilt” blir ikke enklere å ha med å gjøre når de blir tenåringer og voksne. 

Dersom vi ønsker en viss kvalitet/verdibygging i barna våre, synes jeg det er lurt om det er lov med visse type enkle sanksjoner.

Sisterhood, brotherhood, world, earth, united, care jpgMost people with a caring nature and good values, would happily give a helping hand to anyone in difficulty, even if they wouldn`t personally know who the other person is. Sometimes without even thinking of it having any consequence for themselves in the future.

Are You Careful Who You Help?

As time has become more rough and many people are in difficulties nowadays, many people with good intentions of helping others, are experiencing corruption in many cases. Many examples are known from the media, were good and caring people help others in need and are in return either hurt or somehow criminals steal their belongings. Leaving them in worse case, than if they would`ve not cared and just walked away, like they didn`t see that someone needed help. Since the rise of corruption is at its peak, many good people are now very aware of the fact that they have to be careful who they trust and help. Giving a helpful hand, is not the same as for a few years ago. The consequence is of course that people who are entitled of help, doesn`t get any help they need. Because we don`t know if they are true/sincere. So we choose to do a background check before we send any money or give charity through any company. We don`t always know if the money is truly being utilized where it was sent for.

Ulterior Motives For Helpfulness

When our parents bring us to life in this world. They do not bring us in order to make us dependent of them. Most parents want us to be able to live a good life and be independent. If we are too dependent of them, one day when they no more, we would have difficulty adapting to this. Their goal is to raise children who can contribute positively to the community, muslims and non-muslims. If a police-woman sees a man wanting to take suicide from a bridge, and she manages to talk him out of it, believing that he has a purpose in life, even though it looks a bit dark right now, doesn`t mean that the police-woman had ulterior motives for being helpful. It is her duty. So when some people help other people, because of their softheartedness, believe in the good in them. Most of us are just practising the life of our Prophet pbuh. We can`t start spinning on the idea that she saved him, because she wants to marry him or would want some money in return for being helpful.

politenessWe Want Humanity To Win

Good-natured people are helping. Although so many countries are facing severe trials. Lets not be the reason why people stop believing in goodness. A life is precious no matter whose it is. To save a life is like saving humankind, and to take a life, is like killing mankind. -Quran 5:32. Allah sees and knows those who do good. Don`t come in the way of others success. If someone has helped you through a difficult situation, just supplicating for them when you pray, would be sufficient for you to repay the favour. You don`t have to be a part of their life for it. It so happens often that when someone from the opposite gender helps us, we think they help us because they love us etc. It is important that we regain believe in kindness. Not always mistaking kindness /politeness for flirtation/love. Bottom line, kind people with a sound heart and good intentions help others out of difficulty. That`s it. Nothing more. Don`t expect or put so much in a nice gesture that because of this, people stop doing good deeds. If we get the idea that a good gesture will backfire, goodness will decrease. People falling on a sidewalk, where thousands are walking, won`t be helped by anyone. We don`t want that kind of world? We want a safe world where people help each other. No matter if anyone is rich or poor, just because we want humanity to win. If people fear for their family’s security when they help other people, they might stop helping other people in need. We don`t want such a society. Very few people are so un-selfish that they dare to risk their loved ones lives in order to save someone they barely know. Our a priority is our family. May Allah make it easy for us to practice kindness without it backfiring. Aameen.

positive parents, children, upbringingGood and bad health is in the hands of our Creator. There is also something we have in our hands to change the situation. Many people know the right of the parents and talk and praise those who treat them well. Though we need to talk more about how parents should treat their children also. Their childhood shape them for their adulthood. If we want them to be good contributors as adults, we nee to know how to mould them into what we want them to become. I have a few thoughts about this, I would like to share.

Children Above Their Age

Children need to learn the parents rights. The parents also should be aware of the children’s rights. If a childs` opinion is validated, and their parents make them feel like they can contribute to the conversation, even with their little intellect at the moment. They would be able to, see with amazement, that many times children say words that are above their age, and good for the conversation. It is the parents that build the childs` confidence in the beginning. Just like any spouse want un-divided attention, children also need a good dose of positive attention, love, care and nurture from their parents. If the parents are able to show this in a good way, they help build healthy people who are an asset for the community and the people they interact with.

parents recognize childrens abilites and efforts,Don`t Downplay Their Abilities

It is so easy to for a parent to say to a child, don`t be disrespectful. Though the parents must also realize that if you treat he/she with respect, and teach them how to behave in a good way, with encouragement, they will. If the only way to get any attention is when children does something wrong, of course, the child that need validation, would do anything for it. To bring out good qualities in our children, we must comment positively and take out time to listen to them and reason with them, to help them think good. Not only teaching them what to think, but how to think right. Don`t downplay their abilities. That is where they learn to downplay their own abilities, in their relations as adults. At the time a child is born, it is like a white sheet. Whatever it becomes and how it behaves depends on the values that are cultivated in him/her. The parents need to realize their responsibilities before it is too late. Encourage your children and see them blossom. Build confidence and self-esteem while keeping them humble and filled with humility and gratefulness. Knowing that good would not happen to them without the will and help of Allah and hard work. When they don`t win the game, appreciate their efforts, because they worked hard. We need to raise children that will be good for the community, muslims and non muslims, but most importantly, good for Islam. May Allah help all elders and children value and respect each other and fulfil their rights and obligations towards each other in a sunnah way and help them become resourceful for the community and to each other.

characterIt is quite common these days, that people are attracted to others whom has a beautiful appearance. I guess a lot of young people get confused about what real beauty is. Generations get influenced by the media, the commercials, movies, tv-serials, where people with perfect body`s are picturing a scenario that is no-where close to reality. Women with tons of make-up and thin as they have never eaten showing a life where you will be happy if you get the man you have fall in love with. Their fairytale stops when they get married, not giving an accurate picture of life after marriage. This is not true love, and this is not real beauty.

Our Prophet Muhammad pbuh, has shown us what real beauty is, through his pbuh soul, conduct and character. He had such a genuine care for people, and was such a humble person with strong bashfulness, that people couldn`t help themselves from loving him pbuh. He pbuh lived a simple life, and treated people so kindly that even his enemies accepted his pbuh message. He was of course beautiful also, but it was his character and simplicity people fell in love with, and still admire and adore. His pbuh kindness to animals. His pbuh treatment of elders. His pbuh nature of reconciliations, of forgiving even the people whom had hurt his pbuh dearest ones. Even people whom wheren`t on his pbuh religion, admired him and still do, for such and amazing character he pbuh has. He pbuh has shown us that is possible to live the Quran. It is through his manners and genuineness that he has won so many hearts ❤ Subhan Allah.

I can understand that young people fall in love with appearance. Though the wiser and elder they get, the more they realize that real beauty is the conduct, not the outside, but the inside. After you marry a person, it is the character you are going to live with for the rest of your life. If the same attractive person has a less good conduct, than imagine yourself whether you are going to live a harmonious life or not.

After all what are you attracted to? Kindness? Manners? Morals? I think that people whom are genuinely kind and treat their loved ones fairly and with respect even when no one is watching them, them being younger or elder, than that is beautiful. People whom follow the sunnah and aren`t embarrassed to go out with their parents, that is beautiful. Being nice to children, even when it won`t give you any personal advantage, but just because that is how our Prophet pbuh was, or it is the right thing to do, that is beautiful. It is very important that we understand what real beauty is, before we get into the bond of marriage. If beauty is our body, what about those people whom has died. We are not our body, we are our soul. The believing and righteous souls will live an eternal life in Paradise. May Allah make us of those and increase the beauty of our souls, so that we are reunited in Jannah with the people we love for the sake of Allah. Ameen summa ameen.

374843_10150465406724496_673011480_nHave we become more un-kind then the generations before us? We Asians know for a fact that the kind of manners that are taught in asian/english schools in Asia are lacking here in the West. Respect towards parents and teachers are not injected in the children. The society is different. That has an impact on the manners and values of the children brought up in these surroundings.

A lot of parents let their children watch television or play games throughout the day. Instead of making sure that they are doing some productive learning, these factors change the children’s thinking. Without talking and spending quality time with your children and teaching them important qualities, how can you expect them to have the right values? The television or games become their “nanny”. The media do not have great values. That is why it is so important that we have limits for how much time they can spend there. Because of the hold of media on the children, a lot of them have become more anti-social. Even if teenagers meet today, they would often rather use FB, Twitter, iPhone etc than to have a normal conversation with each other. These things distract them, and make them lonely.

The selfishness has increased in the society. Different family structure have made being single attractive for some. Or the fact that families break, the increase of divorce, we have a lot of single parents in the community. Most of the people have become more materialistic and showing off thing they buy, is very common. We don`t own things, nowadays things own us. We have everything that money can buy, but not a lot of things that you can`t buy with money. People are depressed, trouble getting enough sleep. They are not content with their life. They have gone far away from religion and feeding their soul and become busy in everyday life.

It maybe that you don`t agree with me. Understandable. Let`s take a test. I believe that people don`t value the relations in their life that made an impact on their life and were the reason why they are so succesful today. Not convinced? Let me ask you a question. I reckon most of the people reading this, do not live with their parents. How often do you visit them? Not often? How often do you call them? When we don`t give any value to people who has spent their life building ours, how much value will we give to strangers than? Would you risk your life for a stranger?

These factors have all been a generator for following to occur: For a couple of weeks ago in Ramadan some boys went to the beach. Because of the waves in the sea they and the deep water they started drowning. Even though there were other people there, no one came forward to help them. Somehow they managed to survive and told their story in the news in Norway. In another incident a couple had an accident and the car went drove off the road. The man managed to get out of the car and on the road to ask for help. Unfortunately no one stopped. It was after the 14th car he waved at before they stopped to help him.

If we look at another aspect of this. Would you have stopped if someone tried to wave you at the side in the middle of nowhere. I mean we have heard a lot of scary stories about this from a lot of different countries. People have been, killed, raped and robbed. I can understand that we become sceptical to people because of this. Don`t you?

Rise of criminality in the society has made people sceptical before helping others in need. I heard about one person in Norway that helped a young person from getting beaten up by a bunch of people. When the gang instead targeted that man, and unfortunately no one helped him. People have to weigh helping others on one side and protecting oneself on the other side. When there is a fear of terrorism in any part of the world, it frightens people, and has an effect on their life. Not to mention retaliation from those who are accused in case of a trial.

Our religion tells us to look for the good in others no matter what life has made them to become. But on the other side, it does not mean that we should become overconfident and jeopardize our life, or the life of our loved ones. Be helpful and smart not a mat that everyone walkover.

Nevertheless if you are of those few people who has this quality of un-conditional kindness within you, like our Prophet Muhammad pbuh, know for a fact that even if people don`t appreciate your efforts, Allah knows and is keeping record of it. He keeps account and is not unjust in the least to anyone. May Allah help us help others, Ameen summa ameen.

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My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

Poetry

(“,) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (“,)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

Når du er forent med en
du elsker, er det ingenting
du ikke klarer :)

Gode ord skaper tillit.
Gode tanker skaper
Inderlighet. God
giverglede skaper
kjærlighet:)

Mood :)

Content.