You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Good advice’ tag.

At work. As doctors, advocates, engineers. We are often very proud of ourselves when we attain some kind of position in society. People who achieve some kind of business or work, with a big salary didn`t come to that point themselves. They probably had many people backing them up. First of all their parents, their siblings, their good friends, and those teachers that guided them to make good decisions in life. Without these people they wouldn`t have been where they are today. Not only these people. Also other people who backed them when they were in difficulty. Prayed for them when they had some kind of troubles. Not only elders. It could have been a supplication of someone whom you hardly know. The same goes when it comes to something good or bad happening in your life, that turns your heart towards Your Creator. When your heart already yearns for Your Creator, you only need a little help, to walk, to join the right path. A muslim brother or sister who encouraged you to pray, a spiritual teacher who helped you remember Allah. and the list goes on.

Each Who Helped Us

Most of these people I have talked about in this text, helped you unconditionally. They expected nothing in return. They helped thinking of you, not themselves. It is very important, that when we achieve some kind of position, that we don`t forget these gems. These gems, who helped us, when we were lost, and needed good advice. They saw the potential in us, when we didn`t believe in us, as much as we do today. The best we can do is, be with them and help them, and do good for them. If that is not possible, than at least pray for them. Supplicate for them, every day. I would certainly not have been where I am today, without those people who believed in me, throughout my life. Ya Allah, have mercy on those who has helped without me knowing it, and while me knowing it. Ya Allah, each who has helped me while me knowing it, or while me not knowing it, grant them infinite blessings in both worlds. Aamen. In every one of every infinite blessing, grant them infinite new blessings of both worlds. Aamen. Guide us to the right path, and keep us firm on the right path. Aamen. Without doubt, Allah is able to do all things. I put my trust in my and your Creator. Allah will suffice me. Aamen. Protect me from those I know are bad for me, and protect me from those I don’t know are bad for me. Accept this for every ummati. Aamen

love increase with age, old couple, with quoteOften in life we come to a road that leads to two different places. We don`t know which one to choose. The decision is tough and we are not always familiar with all the pros and cons. That is when we seek advice from people whom has more wisdom and knowledge than us. Someone whom has travelled such a distance, can know about the dangers and the traps of the journey. Likewise when a child becomes an adult and is mature enough to take the responsibility of marriage. They will most often ask their parents for help in choosing a spouse. They have, after all, more experience and wisdom than their children. If the parents are going to find a spouse, it is crucial that they know their daughter`s /son `s wishes and goals. After all they are the one’s life it is about, not their parents wants and preferences.

 

Level Of Imaan

When the family are informed about a potential spouse, they spend time to find out more about that person through a third-party, the advisors.  An important aspect of seeking advice is to know the advisors personally, whether they have the same values as yourself. The advice you receive will depend on the advisors being a practising muslim or a non-practicing muslim. Whatever suits your child. The important point here is to find someone who’s level of imaan is compatible to your childs.

 

An Eligible Advisor

Parents, when you ask someone for advice about a potential spouse for your child, remember to ask someone whom is known to be just/fair. A just person would only say the truth. A friend would only praise the person. An enemy would only tell negative things. A just person will tell the positive and negative he/she knows, without adding extra spice/sugar to the information. There is no person without some negative qualities. The main thing is that the two individuals add up to each others qualities.

 

Their Answers Depend On Their Benefit

Your criteria for liking/disliking someone can be different from others. People often look for their own benefit in the matter before they give any advice. These kinds of people are mostly not truthful because they base their answers on their on benefit of the situation and it could change.

 

Be Just

Advisors beware: today someone is asking you about another muslims daughter. You will be asked from Allah about how you answer. Be just. Today it is someone else`s family, tomorrow it could be someone in your own family. People whom misguide others on purpose, will have a tremendous sanction for it from Allah. May Allah protect the Ummah from seeking advice from people whom aren`t eligible for giving it and help us not accept advice from people whom are not truthful. Aameen.

True happiness is being obedient and submissive to Allah, white flowerThe people we interact with influence us according to their values. Even if they aren`t our closest friends, their values can rub off on us. Some people say we become like the 5 people we spend the most time with. Be it at home, work, university etc. We can`t choose the people who are in our family, but we can choose whom we will befriend. Even if we have to work or study with people who are very different from us, we don`t have to let their differences affect our values. To be able to do that we have to have control over ourself with understanding and believing in our goals and be determined that we are going to make it, no matter how difficult the road might seem. Guidance comes from Allah. He is the only One whom guides us. We should always supplicate to him to ask for the straight path of guidance with a heart that accept guidance as well. Without His Help we are indeed lost. As long as we rely only on Him we can`t be lost. When we start to rely on ourself and our abilities, He will send us a difficulty to teach us who is in charge. If we have any ability to do anything it is merely because of His Love. He can take away whatever He has blessed us with. So it remains to practice patience and gratefulness side by side, and turn to Him always, every day, as often as possible.

 

It Is Better To Die Than To Be Disobedient To Allah

Who hasn`t had some friends with different set of values that has influenced them without thinking of the consequences of it being harmful for ourself. When we are practising muslims, doing the right thing might be hard, but it will be the only way. Your choice will be between: 1. Doing the right and 2. Doing the right thing. Even and despite the road being packed with difficulties. When we are so strict with ourself, we won`t allow ourself to fall into sin, and if and when we do, and yes it is inevitable, we would feel that dying is better than being disobedient to Allah. His true slaves turn to Him whenever they fail.

 

Leave The Place

To be able to control our desires and our emotions we need to be in control of our heart. When we keep on doing sins, it`s sickness is increased. It can only be healed by listening to Quran and doing good deeds, keeping wudhu, avoiding bad company, and avoiding sin. When our heart has come a bit on the way to becoming healthy, it won`t even like the places that leads to sin. If we ourself are struggling it is difficult for us to help others. When we are strong, we can face the fitna/tribulations that would be in such a place. We can`t save others before we save ourself.

 

Allah, Jannah, Muslim, proveA bad Friend Is Worse Than Shaytan

We need to be aware of our worth. When we know something is bad for us, we can`t be persistent in it. For example, a friend of yours ask you to jump off a mountain. Every sane person knows that you`ll die or break a lot of bones in your body, from the fall. Never mind that, he`s my best friend, how can I not do what he said, he knows me so well, and what would help me, right? The same goes for sinning. We need to stand up for Islam and be able to say “no”, and not follow a bad advice that will harm our Hereafter. Even if our so-called friends is cheering us to do it. We know that it`s not right, so we abstain. There is a saying in urdu that when one in a group of people is wrong, all the others will guide him to become good but what will the people do when most of the people in the group are wrong and only one is right. Avoid. It is like a group of young boys that just got their driving license. They are not perfect drivers but has got permission to drive. That means they need to be extra careful to not break any rules. The rules are new to them and they need to be familiar with them to know how to drive correctly.  If one of them cheers the driver to overspeed, they have only themselves to blame if they they come in an accident. Even those that doesn`t practice Islam knows that when we sin, we are going in the direction of Hell-fire, if we don`t repent and make amends. If we still wan`t do be persistent in going on that way, when we know the consequences, we are indeed stupid. That is why I believe in the saying of some elders that a bad friend is worse than shaytan, because shaytan only whispers to you, but that friend, he takes you to that place of sinning and doesn`t stop until you have sinned, so that you become like him. And then he can say, “Way to go, yeah I can see, you are a muslim”. The only goal of a bad friend is to make you just as bad as him.

 

In Good And Bad Always Turn To Allah

Bottom line. Avoid. Avoid. Avoid. The more a person want to sin, the more Allah loves him, when he is able to abstain from it. Don`t rely on yourself or others. Rely only on Allah. People are sometimes good to you and sometimes bad, mostly according to what you benefit them with. Don`t lose your focus. Keep yourself determined to go to Paradise. And be aware that the way to Paradise is a road that is packed with difficulties. Though as long as we are persistent, we can find blessings in the difficulties. Whatever good or bad happens, always turn to Allah. Allah is in charge, He is the one Who has made the rules and regulations. He decides how matters are and how we can respond, out of His Wisdom. We don`t know as much as a grain according to Allah Who knows All that is in the Universe. How can we for one minute think that we know better than Him. It is plain impossible. When he asks us to abstain from something, even if we in our minds are not able to understand the wisdom, we have to trust in Him. He made us and know what is good for us. Only the maker of a vehicle, knows what is good and bad for it. Similarly, it is by Allah`s command that we are here in this world, so we must rely on the fact that he knows best what He wants for us. Accordingly He knows best how to handle our heart, and how to keep it away from all kinds of diseases. People wonder why some believers are in tension most of the time. How can they relax before they enter Paradise? The day they enter Paradise, with those they love, they will be content and rejoice over the fact that they made it to their goal. Sinning takes them further away from their goal, and being obedient makes them closer to their goal. May Allah preserve us, guide us and give us a heart that accept guidance, give us righteous company, and give us strong imaan and will to do what is right according to Islam and make it easy for us to follow Him. Aameen summa aameen.

photo, develop, negatives, quote, lifeThe good and bad qualities that are in the generation of parents doesn`t automatically pass on to the next generation. It depends on the way we nurture good behaviour in our children, that matters. Sometimes we fail sometimes we succeed, Allah`s help is necessary.

 

Age is no obstacle

Just because we didn`t get a fully islamic upbringing, doesn`t mean we can`t do that for our next generation. It depends on what values we have in us right now. We might have come to Islam as adults, but people who are far more elder than us has completed a lot more tasks for Islam. They didn`t let that stop them. We want the best for our generations of children. Just because we didn`t pray that much when we were younger, if we have come back to Islam, we would want the best for the next generation and wan`t to instill in them these qualities as early as possible.

 

Just because my father smoked cigarettes

Just because your father smoked cigarettes doesn`t automatically mean that you will also fall into the same. If your father did smoke and his health is deteriorating because of it, he wouldn`t want the same to happen to his son. So when he gives you guidance to prevent you from doing it, it is because he knows what it does to you. Often people who have had a un-islamic lifestyle and Allah guides them to Islam, are the best people to give naseeha, because they know how it is to grow up in the “hood”. We can`t throw back comments to them that you yourself didn`t manage to prevent yourself from it, so why should we. You should rather listen to the wisdom they have gained from quitting it. They know the inside story, you might not. Listen to them with an open heart.

 

If every generations had to start from scratch

People increase in experience by making mistakes. When we have learned from the mistakes that gave us some experience we would like to instill those values in our children from an early age so that they don`t fall into the same traps as we did. If every generation had to invent cars every time they need a vehicle, just because they want to do everything on their own, we might not have had any planes now. If every generation use the experience the generations before has gathered, we will develop that into something better as time passes. Every generation doesn`t have to start from scratch. We can try to build our life on others experience so that we can prosper and succeed as time passes. May Allah help us. Ameen

188983_10151478508729496_344954689_nYou never know how your positive encouragement can help people. Just because one of the youths you know are misbehaving in any way, it does not imply that they will always be like that. It is our responsibility to look for the good in others and encourage them to improve themselves. Just because a person is having trouble of some kind in their young age is not a hinder for them to later on in their life, become succesful. I`m sure you have heard about a hadith, where our Prophet Muhammad pbuh says: “In the last years before judgement there will be people whom start their life as good people but later become bad people, and some that starts their life as bad people but later get guided from above. We do not know what kind of death a person will have. So it is extremely important that we understand and emphasize when talking to the youth that no matter how much a person messes up, the door to get back to Allah is always open, as long as they are breathing they can change for the better. We should never lose hope.

 

Teacher of Life
Often we see that people give naseeha to youngster in a way that instead of making them better makes them go beyond what is wrong. It is very important that we think well through what we say and how we say it and our body language matches what we are saying. The generations of our parents had different upbringing than us. Most of them were taught good manners even though they didn`t have the most degrees. They had the teacher of life and more respect towards teachers, elders, and knowledgable people like Imams. Now we see that these things are diminishing in our society. For starters we are living in an un-islamic society here in the West. A society that proclaims values that doesn`t match our values. It is a free society where the religion is often seen as something private, and often not allowed to practice in public areas. Like for instance it is forbidden to use niqab in some schools or public areas in some countries in the West.

 

Education about marriage before marriage

We see that our parents marry their children in a very young age without giving them proper education about how a marriage works and how one raises children. We often seen that a lot of young muslim parents living abroad lose their children to the childcare system. Mostly because their way of children’s upbringing collides with the rules in the country they live in. In Norway we see an increasing number of young parents where they have been reported to the childcare, because of this. We are the biggest losers in this, because some of the times, the children that are taken away from their families in an early age, are not taught the values that we stand for.

 

Children mature earlier now

It is very important for the dai`s in today`s society to explain to parents how to give naseeha to youngster. When our parents where kids, their parents told them do this or don`t do that and they listened to them. Nowadays children are more intelligent than at that time. Mostly because of that they are exposed to technology in an early age and the society they live in the west, teach a lot of things very early. To make these kids understand why you can do something and why you can`t is not that easy if you don`t know how to speak to them. Often you have to talk to them with respect. You have to explain why these things are good/bad for them, with real life examples so they can comprehend it. You have to talk with them like you are on the same level. I have read once that when you want to stop your child that is to years old, you should sit down so that you are both at the same height and look into his/her eyes and say what you want to say when you have his fully attention. That is because you want him/her to think like you are on the same level. The same goes to young adults.

 

Give naseeha privately

When you talk with youngsters, talk with the right intention of wanting them to change, without looking down at them. After all it can all be an misunderstanding. We only see through our personal glasses that are made of our values. The youngsters intentions could have been something else. Choose the right timing. Hate the deed, not the person. Give naseeha privately, so you don`t emberass them in front of other family members or their friends or even a stranger. The youth is in such a delicate age when they have to find out about a lot of things, like who they are and what they`re identity is and what they want to do with their life. At the same time all these different kinds of feeling are in them which they have to understand. They are in a very tender age, and need extra care. The last they would need is an adult that looks down on them, is too strict, and tells them what to do without explaining why it is good for them. Last but not least, come with real pointers about how they can stop something or begin with something. Give them the recipe for it from A to Z. Use humour in a way they would understand to catch their attention and use it as a medicine.

 

Conclusion

If you follow these tools, than in sha Allah, you will make a difference in their life. It is very important to understand the people one is giving advice to, rather than being to enthusiastic and give it in the wrong way. It all could boil down to them change for the better or make them even worse than before. It is very important that we are wise in the tools we use. May Allah help us help others. Ameen summa ameen.

Throughout your lifetime you are often faced through circumstances that prevents you from taking right descisions. It could be that you don`t have the ability to trust yourself or that you sometimes get so confused by what others say. I know people who have been given wrong guidance from their surroundings, be it anyone, which has lead them to making a desicion which was not well enough thought through. One person has the best intention for something, though he/she is confused wether he/she should make that decision. Than of course that person will ask everyone in his surroundings. What guidance he/she recieves from his loved ones differs from person to person. Though one thing I`ve noticed which is that the person you are asking for guidance would mostly first see what he/she will get out of it and then give some advice. The advice-giving person should actually be putting himself/herself in the advice-needing person`s shoes and than give it his/her best shot. If that person doesn`t give advice from his/her heart than that could have an really bad on the person who`s seeking the advice. And he/she would actually in a way be responsible for misguiding another person.

My advice to everyone is that, before you ask someone for advice check if that person has the same values like you have. And if that person is trustable you will get great advice. I know i can trust my little circle of friends because they know me well and have the same values as me. They have always been there and I`m thankful for having them in my life. Alhamdolillah.

I am such a person that I always think that the other person who`m im talking with has the best intention when I ask for some advice. Though I`ve experienced a lot of ups and downs because of trusting the wrong people. Finally I`ve understood who are my real friends. I`ve become very choosy just because of that. Understanding the fact that not all people are alike.

All I want to say to everyone is that, if you don`t know what`s good for another person than please just simply say:- I don`t know, instead of giving wrong advice. Simply stay quiet, change the subject, anything. For those who deliberately give wrong advice, for those I have only one thing to say, what goes around comes around. It`s the intention you will get “savabh” for not only the outcome.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 130 other followers

My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

Calender

August 2017
M T W T F S S
« Jul    
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031  

Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

Poetry

(“,) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (“,)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

Når du er forent med en
du elsker, er det ingenting
du ikke klarer :)

Gode ord skaper tillit.
Gode tanker skaper
Inderlighet. God
giverglede skaper
kjærlighet:)

Mood :)

Content.