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When I was on a trip to saudi arab Makkah and madina, our group went on ziyarah. A young guide, drove us from place to place. I still remember we asked this guide, you are so lucky, you live in the town so close to the best mosques, you can do umrah or hajj whenever you want. To this he replied, I’m very blessed to live here. The only matter that makes it difficult for the muslims who live here is the hasad (jealousy) in the people. If it wouldn’t have been for that, I would have liked it even more. This was in 2009.
I remember what he said til today. The qualities Islam came to change, are still found in many muslims. If we would try to strengthen the brotherhood and sisterhood of the ummah, our brothers and sisters wouldn’t be in so much trouble, misery and danger. We have forgotten to practice the qualities Hazoor Paak ﷺ have taught. Ya Allah, grant us to win the struggle of proactively strengthening the brotherhood of this ummah. Grant us to win struggle of proactively get rid of bad qualities in our heart, that are making problem for all ummati to unite as one ummah. Aamen
In Islam, family is important. We know for a fact, if we manage to make healthy homes, we will raise healthy people, who doesn’t lack anything. They become healthy contributors to the community. A house with much fighting, where basic rules of Islam are not followed, and prohibitions not respected, lose the baraqah in their home and lives.
Great Asr In Speech
The same similtude, can be drawn towards the dawah / islah of many muslim leaders. If they discuss about each other on forums, youtube etc, speaking bad, because of their differences of practising the same madhab as them, they are making a great mistake. Often where people fight often, their baraqah is taken away. If muslim leaders often engage in such talks, to talk against other, so themselves don’t lose followers. It will derive them of the baraqah in their work. The leaders are supposed to have great asr in their speech, that is supported by qualitative deeds of wisdom. When they say anything, it should, and will have an effect on the listeners.
Don’t Go Pro, Before You Master The Basics
Less than 20 % of the ummah, is following the basic guidelines of Islam, rules and prohibitions. For the leaders to talk about sweetness of iman, khusho, ihsan, with people who don’t even pray everyday, is ineffectively. They need to talk on the level their followers are on. If most people have, difficulties to follow basic rules, we can’t think that “following pro rules, like the khazane of more” will motivate them. It’s like teaching children on a university level. It just won’t be understood.
Striving With Basics
The ummah, that have trouble with the sin of the tongue, heart and private parts, won’t be motivated by always talking about paradise, and it’s joys. Leaders need to make surveys to find, what people are striving with. When people will understand why it is important to protect tongue, heart, private parts from sinning, only than they will be able to protect themselves.
When Does Students Learn Best?
I have seen many mosques, where many sins of tongues and hearts can be seen, even in those who attend regularly, and are seen as pious because of some deeds. If we want our muslims to get to higher obedience of islam (university level in private) lets make sure, we must make sure they are following the rules and prohibitions in public and private, that were taught to them in kindergarden, high school, college, before they can reach the university level of Islam. Because the test in mosque, doesn’t tell us if they are practising what they learned at home or with their friends. Before every teacher starts a course, he / she spends the first days, to understand the level of the attendees. This is because, the students will only learn best, when teachers teach from the level the student has. If it’s too easy or too difficult, this will have a negative effect on the progress of the student. And first and foremost, instill the godfear in people, Allah sees us. When we are talking with our friends, family and others. Allah is recording us. Without the right amount of godfear, no muslim teacher, will ever have a good student. No matter how many A’ he get on every test. Since the teacher can’t go home with his student, the result of test is only seen by Allah, when he is private. That is priority 1. Ya Allah, make it easy for muslim leaders to make surveys of their followers taqwa, so they can help them raise their obedience to Allah, and protect themselves from the fire. And instill a sufficient amount of godfear in us, so we protect ourselves from hidden sins too. Aameen.
Hazoor Paak pbuh has said a muslim is a mirror to another muslim, when he /she sees anything wrong in it, he / she tells him / her. Often times when we are low in imaan, we dislike being advised from others. When anyone corrects us, we are greatly wounded. We forget that part of being a muslim is not only want yourself to prosper but also others. When someone corrects us, the sunnah way, we can try to immediately think that it is part of our faith. And those who have strong faith, they correct others, within their means. The weak-faithed think of the sin as bad only in their heart, and dis-allow themselves to correct anyone.
How Dhikr Helped Me
Dhikr is something that changed me in many ways and helped me deal with my heart. Often times we have knowledge of what deeds are sinful and what deeds are rewarding. Still we don`t manage to save ourselves from the bad stuff. The issue here is, as I have learned in dhikr mehfil, that if our heart is not good, no matter how much good information we have knowledge of, our actions will not change according to it. To be able to act upon the good we know and here in mehfil in the mosque etc, we need to have a good, sound heart. The only way to achieve that is first repentance, with following dhikr of Allah. Slowly we will be able to clean our heart for all kind of bad qualities and become receptive of good advice and gentle and firm corrections. That is the only way. There is no shortcut to success. Everyone has to take the stairs. In other words, it is recommended to do dhikr of Allah every day. As repentance cleanses the heart and dhikr polishes it.
When Your Heart Reminds You
When we are low in imaan, we have to drag ourselves to prayer and other good deeds. Our imaan increases by doing good deeds, and decreases by doing bad deeds. If you keep yourself motivated and make yourself do good deeds, even though you don`t feel like it. If you are consistent in doing this, one day your heart, soul will remind you of the good deeds you need to do. You will not be able to have peace without having done those good deeds.
Change Your Focus Towards The Quran
Self-motivation, self-empowering is the key. We can`t always rely on others, when we are down. Of course others also have increasing and decreasing imaans. Whenever we are down, turn to Allah`s book, read surah`s, listen to famous reciters. It will change your focus, whenever you forget. Nothing makes the soul and heart happy and content as the speech of Allah.
Choose The Company Of Wisdomful Muslims
If you feel you are not able to do as good deeds as you want to. Change your company. Sometimes we don`t realize that others heartbreaking comments about our deen does have a bad effect on us. In other words, surround yourself with people who not only have the knowledge of Islam but most importantly, also have wisdom of it. In other words, their knowledge is rooted in their actions. They don`t only talk about the salah but also know about tactics of how to increase concentration in salah and ibaadah. They don`t only talk about the strength of Hazoor Paak pbuh and his followers ra but they have also gained these strengths themselves.
Does It Change Your Behaviour?
I have learned from dhikr mehfils, that often time, we go to gatherings where special islamic days are celebrated. When we sit there our hearts are filled with imaan. When we leave the gathering and come home, almost the most of it is forgotten, and life is the same as before we went there. What I have learned through dhikr mehfil is that, if the gathering doesn`t change your behaviour for the better. Than what is the point of going there. For example, in his dars the imaam sahib is talking about the bad effects of gheebat, chugli, bohtan, envy and other diseases of the heart. He explains that we must get rid of it, because it destroys our good deeds. What effect has the information had on anyone, when minutes after the gathering is finished, we start doing these deeds. Inside the mosque? If good knowledge doesn`t have any effect on us, maybe our heart must be cleaned and the advisors has to be wisdomful advisors, in other words, themselves also living according to the advice they are giving. Or else the time will be wasted, by the attendees and the imaam.
Few Pointers To Summarize:
1. Surround yourself with good people.
2. Work on your heart with repentance and dhikr.
3. When you gain knowledge work to gain the wisdom by internalizing it in your conduct.
4. Self-empowerment. Self-motivation. Don`t rely on others. Turn to Allah, through Quran, sunnah.
5. Constantly work on the qualities of your heart. There is no other way to prosper. Advice has no effect without qalbe-salim.
6. Your imaan will decrease and increase. It is inevitable. Learn how to recognize the signs of low imaan, to protect yourself from it.
7. Allah`s mercy is greater than His wrath. Mistakes are inevitable. Allah forgives all sins. Turn to Allah every time and re-start your life.
Ya Allah, Help Us, Help Ourselves. Aameen.
May Allah grant a heart that has a good balance between fear of Him and Love of Him. Grant us a heart that accepts advice. Grant us a heart that is firm on Your path, Islam. Don`t let our hearts, souls deviate from your seeratul-mustaqim. Grant us knowledge and wisdom of deen and dunya, so that we can prosper in both. Grant us your khaas qurbat and Hazoor Paak pbuh khaas hazoori, rehnomai and rohaniyat. Cleanse our heart, soul and eyes, and grant us a khaas reflection of Hazoor Paak pbuh in all of these. Aameen summa aameen.
It is good to see that the community has seen the value of educating people before they get married to make sure that they are familiar to their responsibilities and their rights. Alhamdolillah. That is a great start. I feel that we need dig a bit deeper into the issue of marriage. To get a better result we must start earlier. First of all. Most of parents are not aware of the rights their children have to choose their own spouse, and mostly the relatives put many roadblocks in their way, if they don`t want two people to join in marriage. To give back the two individuals right to marriage, we must also educate their parents and their relatives, meaning the elders. Mostly whom has a twisted interpretations of Islam, and therefore also the practice.
The Struggle Is Real
If the mosque could have dars for parents that have children who are in their teens, it would help them understand, what kind of struggle teens have. We need to help parents understand that it is not easy for them to live here in the west and still stay pure. Parents can use the life of Sahaba to educate the teens on how they lived their life and what is expected from them according to Islam. Practice what they preach. Sadly most parents spend their time on matters that are pretty un-islamic. Teens learn love from the media, bollywood, hollywood and dramas, and think that they portray the right kind of love. WHen in fact they are not even near it. If the teens are taught about love through the lives of Prophet pbuh and Sahaba raa they will be educated in what could give them a more fulfilling and lasting marriage.
Asking For Trouble
If we want to get to the root of the problem, that is the parents and the community. If they have right values and live and act according to Islam, they will teach the same values to their children, through their life. Not just what they say or what image they have in their community. In most families the relatives wants to have a say when two families are thinking of marriage for their children. The chacha of fla fla is against it. Or the khallla of fla fla feels the same. Parents are also pressurized from the community and don`t know what to do. When in fact it is not the whole community that decides this. The people who want to get married doesn`t have a right to choose their spouse freely. When they meet so many roadblocks on the way. The elders are asking for trouble. Not only are they making it difficult for the ones that want to get married, to live a pure life, they are also increasing fitna by not accepting the good spouse that asking for their child in marriage. And most of all, I don`t understand how the alims or the mosque can close their eyes to this. Do they not know? Or maybe they agree to it. The culture is given precedence over religion. And that will make it more difficult for muslims to be true and sincere muslims.
Who Is To Blame?
It is to easy to put the blame on the spouses when a marriage fails. It is the fault of the community and their parents. What values they taught them from they were children and if they helped them follow Islam from them leading by example. It is the communities fault that they have not educated the parents. It is the parents fault that they have not taught the spouses their rights and obligations. When culture is more important than religion, we will have more trouble. We must get back to Islam not only by speech. That is where we will find blessings and everlasting happiness.
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