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positive parents, children, upbringingGood and bad health is in the hands of our Creator. There is also something we have in our hands to change the situation. Many people know the right of the parents and talk and praise those who treat them well. Though we need to talk more about how parents should treat their children also. Their childhood shape them for their adulthood. If we want them to be good contributors as adults, we nee to know how to mould them into what we want them to become. I have a few thoughts about this, I would like to share.

Children Above Their Age

Children need to learn the parents rights. The parents also should be aware of the children’s rights. If a childs` opinion is validated, and their parents make them feel like they can contribute to the conversation, even with their little intellect at the moment. They would be able to, see with amazement, that many times children say words that are above their age, and good for the conversation. It is the parents that build the childs` confidence in the beginning. Just like any spouse want un-divided attention, children also need a good dose of positive attention, love, care and nurture from their parents. If the parents are able to show this in a good way, they help build healthy people who are an asset for the community and the people they interact with.

parents recognize childrens abilites and efforts,Don`t Downplay Their Abilities

It is so easy to for a parent to say to a child, don`t be disrespectful. Though the parents must also realize that if you treat he/she with respect, and teach them how to behave in a good way, with encouragement, they will. If the only way to get any attention is when children does something wrong, of course, the child that need validation, would do anything for it. To bring out good qualities in our children, we must comment positively and take out time to listen to them and reason with them, to help them think good. Not only teaching them what to think, but how to think right. Don`t downplay their abilities. That is where they learn to downplay their own abilities, in their relations as adults. At the time a child is born, it is like a white sheet. Whatever it becomes and how it behaves depends on the values that are cultivated in him/her. The parents need to realize their responsibilities before it is too late. Encourage your children and see them blossom. Build confidence and self-esteem while keeping them humble and filled with humility and gratefulness. Knowing that good would not happen to them without the will and help of Allah and hard work. When they don`t win the game, appreciate their efforts, because they worked hard. We need to raise children that will be good for the community, muslims and non muslims, but most importantly, good for Islam. May Allah help all elders and children value and respect each other and fulfil their rights and obligations towards each other in a sunnah way and help them become resourceful for the community and to each other.

sunnah is helping around in the house, men, husband, fatherRamadan is a month to let our soul connect with Allah through ibaadah. It is important that all the family members get a chance to improve themselves, not only the men. Often the women in the house, daughter, sister, mother, wife does not get the chance to spend as much time for ibaadah because of the chores of the house. It is important that the whole family helps around, so that it doesn`t burden a few. Ramadan is not about the iftars and food we are going to eat at the end of the day, it is about getting closer to Allah and how can we possibly achieve that if we are over-burdened.

It is important that men help around the house more in ramadan. The same if you have children, keep them also busy helping. Good family ties kan only be kept from team work, we are in this together, one goal, and we help each other to do good. If ramadan is meant for us to forget the women in the house and overburdening them with our request for iftar meals, we are not living the essence of ramadan.

help me draw closer to you this ramadan.You are not the only one whom prayers are obligatory for. Your family must also pray. Make it easy for each other to pray. Give the women in your family breaks at salah time to complete the salah with khusoo and no concern for the food that is cooking. Men will be held accountable for every salah their daughters, sister, mother and wife missed or read being overburdened. Work chores can easily become family time, if we try to keep a good environment for each other. Maybe that is something that won`t make the chores that unwanted, especially by the children or teens. If these teens boys and girls are given good values from the start they will grow up and become an asset to the whole community, not only for themselves. Parents can teach them good qualities. It is vital that we give them time as the fragile age they are in. A good muslim is first and foremost good to his family. Ramadan is a time to grow spiritually. Make this a time for the whole family to help become better people and better muslims.

hijab1Parda karna mein auraton ki zeenat hain. Hijab is the beauty of muslim woman. The beauty of woman lies in their pious character and not in their outer appearance. Their body will most probably fade and crumble as the years pass by. Though the character of a woman will only increase her in beauty as the years pass by.

Of course people get attracted to those that are beautiful. But that attraction does not last for a long time if the same person is ill-mannered. A look at a beautiful woman might catch your attention for a moment, but a beautiful character that is what catches the heart.

As one grows older one understands that beauty is not as important as character and good manners are. The people with good manners are the ones that are highly respected. People like them regardless of which faith they themselves have.

Talking to girls and woman reading this, I would like to say, if he doesn`t like you for what is in your heart and your personality he would never stay by your side as times go by. That person would only fall for the next woman who looks more beautiful than you. Isn`t it better to marry someone who wants to marry you because of your character and your religion than because of your looks. It is your character your husband has to live with throughout the years.

When that is said, you will understand where I`m heading. When your beauty is not what attracts the right guy, why not hide it for the one and only in your life. The muslim perspective is that we woman create fitnah when we step out of our homes be it at school, work or out shopping. If we aren`t dressed properly we are properly viewed by other men we don`t even know who are. Instead of showing our beauty to every person passing by us, we should try to wear proper hijab so that our beauty is protected from different glances and stares from the opposite gender.

When we maintain the correct hijab, and not the i-am-a-fashion-hijabi than we will be able to minimize attention and be able to achieve blessings from Allah for not creating fitna. It is our responsibility as muslim woman.

When our brothers and our mehrams tell us to wear proper clothes we should respect the kind of gheerah (protective jealousy ) they have for us. They know how the mens thoughts work and they don`t want anything to happen to us.

Remember sister, when you step out of the house, the protection you had around you in you home isn`t there. When we minimize the fitna we could cause, we would be able to please our Creator.

One thing I read on the internet that made me work on completing my hijab is that if we cause fitna for other men, then other woman will cause fitna for the men in our lives, be it brother, husband or son. That line I read woke me up and scared me so much. I don`t want that to happen so I try to focus on completing my hijab, the correct way.

It is also important that we don`t look down on other woman who don`t wear hijab. It took me years to perfect my hijab and it still needs work. Allah guided me but my hijab isn`t perfect. So if some other women you know is not there yet, ask Allah for them to also see the beauty in wearing hijab, and protecting themselves and being the muslimah our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) would be proud of having in his Ummah. In sha Allah, ameen.

Hijab is not only a scarf on our head it is the way we are totally hidden not wrapped. It is also the way we talk, and carry ourselves as we walk, trying to not get too much attention as we are outside our safe zone at home. We need to focus on all these aspects when we try to perfect our hijab.

The Prophet has said that woman will be the of the inhabitant of hell. So it is important that we don`t lose hope in each other and keep on giving islah and dawa so that more woman/girls can prosper and achieve Jannah, In sha Allah, ameen.

No one is perfect. We just need to ask for guidance from above and work on ourselves. That is the only way. May Allah help us in perfecting our hijab and keeping us well hidden like a pearl and keep us steadfast on the deen and keep guiding us to do right give dawah/islah in the best possible way in sha Allah, ameen summa ameen. Remember the whole Ummah in your prayers in sha Allah ameen.

say im sorryYou may be thinking, is it that difficult to apologize? I didn`t know it either, before I bought this. In the book ” the things I wish I knew before i got married”, by Gary Chapman. It is written the rules of apologizing. Gary says that everyone does mistakes, but if we don`t ask for sincere apology, we won`t be forgiven and the resentment won`t go away, instead it will build up to become bigger. Here are a simple formula to how you can apologize to your spouse, five apology languages :

  1. Expressing regret : “I`m sorry” may well be the first words in expressing this apology language. However, you need to tell what you are sorry for. The words “I`m sorry” spoken alone, are much to general. For example, you might say, “I`m sorry I came an hour late, I know you have been waiting for me so we could go to the movie. I realize that we`ve already missed the first thirty  minutes, and you probably don`t want to go. I feel bad that I did not pay more attention to the time. I got busy with work at the office. I can`t blame anyone but myself. I feel like I have let you down big time”. This apology language is an emotional language. It is seeking to express to the other person your emotional pain that your words or you behaviour have hurt them deeply. If this is the apology language of the one you have hurt, what they want to know is: “Do you understand how deeply your behaviour has hurt me?”. Anything short of this kind of apology will seem empty to them.
  2. Accepting Responsibility :  This apology begins with: ” I was wrong” and then goes on to explain what was wrong about your behaviour. The person who has spoken harshly might apologize in the following manner. ” The way I talked to you was wrong. It is not loving or kind to raise my voice and speak harshly to you. I should not have allowed my temper to get out of control. I`m not blaming you. I`m accepting responsibility for my behaviour and I know it was wrong. The person who`s primary language is accepting responsibility, is waiting for you to admit that your behaviour was wrong.
  3. Making restitution : This apology language seeks to “make it right”. What people with this apology language wants to know is ” do you still love me?”. Your behaviour seems so unloving to them that they wonder how you could love them and do what you did. What they request for you to do will be in keeping with their love language.
  4. Genuinely expressing your desire to change your behaviour :This apology seeks to come up with a plan to keep the bad behaviour from reoccurring.
  5. Requesting forgiveness : “will you please forgive me? ” These words are music to those whose apology language is requesting forgiveness. In their mind if you are sincere, you will ask them to forgive you. This is what an apology is all about. You have hurt them and they want to know  “do you want to be forgiven?”.  “Do you want to remove the barrier that your behaviour has caused?”. Requesting forgiveness is what touches their heart and rings of sincerity. What most people want to know when you are attempting to apologize is ” are you sincere?”. However, they judge your sincerity by whether or not you are speaking what to them is a genuine apology. That means you must learn to speak your apology in their primary apology language. When you do, they sense your real sincerity.

Gary says that there are no healthy marriages without apology and forgiveness. He says he draws this conclusion from the reality that all of us are human and humans sometimes do and say things that are demeaning to other people. These unloving words and actions create emotional barrier between the people involved. Those barriers do not go away with the passing of time. They are removed only when we apologize and the offended party chooses to forgive.

Excerpt taken out from the book ” Things I wish I `d known before we got married ” , by Gary Chapman.

Check out and click on site www . Purify Your Gaze . com

https://purifyyourgaze.com/

My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

Poetry

(“,) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (“,)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

Når du er forent med en
du elsker, er det ingenting
du ikke klarer :)

Gode ord skaper tillit.
Gode tanker skaper
Inderlighet. God
giverglede skaper
kjærlighet:)

Mood :)

Content.