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Hazoor Paak pbuh talked about racism in his final khutbah. And till today we are still suffering from rasicm between different ethnicities and different colors within the ummah. Being arab versus ajam.
Nowadays in some countries if an important person give his recomendations about a person for a position in a organisation, he will get employed. In some countries if people pay money to get hired, they get the job, even when other people are more qualified for the position. Hazoor Paak pbuh told his own daughter, Fatma raa, if you want to be granted jannah, don’t rely on your lineage, but be consistent in doing good deeds. Imagine, his telling this to his pbuh own daughter.
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Allah raised the rank of a black slave to stand on what is the most sanctified in Islam, the kaabah, to give a Bilali (raa) adhaan (call to prayer). His ranks were raised. His color didn’t matter, his obedient mattered.
We should not avoid certain people just because they are weird or unusual people. Allah also told Hazoor Paak to not avoid certain companys, just because some of the chiefs, disliked being in their company of the poor and weird. That is what is happening today. People avoid each other because of what others own, and wear. Not realizing that the true person is not mere there outside, but it is their values, conduct, behaviour, character, god-consiousness/god-fearingness.
We have lost such an important part of the sunnah. We have become arrogant (arab). May Allah help us humble ourselves without becoming a dormat. Aameen
Often in life we come to a road that leads to two different places. We don`t know which one to choose. The decision is tough and we are not always familiar with all the pros and cons. That is when we seek advice from people whom has more wisdom and knowledge than us. Someone whom has travelled such a distance, can know about the dangers and the traps of the journey. Likewise when a child becomes an adult and is mature enough to take the responsibility of marriage. They will most often ask their parents for help in choosing a spouse. They have, after all, more experience and wisdom than their children. If the parents are going to find a spouse, it is crucial that they know their daughter`s /son `s wishes and goals. After all they are the one’s life it is about, not their parents wants and preferences.
Level Of Imaan
When the family are informed about a potential spouse, they spend time to find out more about that person through a third-party, the advisors. An important aspect of seeking advice is to know the advisors personally, whether they have the same values as yourself. The advice you receive will depend on the advisors being a practising muslim or a non-practicing muslim. Whatever suits your child. The important point here is to find someone who’s level of imaan is compatible to your childs.
An Eligible Advisor
Parents, when you ask someone for advice about a potential spouse for your child, remember to ask someone whom is known to be just/fair. A just person would only say the truth. A friend would only praise the person. An enemy would only tell negative things. A just person will tell the positive and negative he/she knows, without adding extra spice/sugar to the information. There is no person without some negative qualities. The main thing is that the two individuals add up to each others qualities.
Their Answers Depend On Their Benefit
Your criteria for liking/disliking someone can be different from others. People often look for their own benefit in the matter before they give any advice. These kinds of people are mostly not truthful because they base their answers on their on benefit of the situation and it could change.
Be Just
Advisors beware: today someone is asking you about another muslims daughter. You will be asked from Allah about how you answer. Be just. Today it is someone else`s family, tomorrow it could be someone in your own family. People whom misguide others on purpose, will have a tremendous sanction for it from Allah. May Allah protect the Ummah from seeking advice from people whom aren`t eligible for giving it and help us not accept advice from people whom are not truthful. Aameen.
Having children is a great blessing for parents. To pass on the legacy of Islam to another generation that will live Islam. Often both parents prefer sons over daughters. Mainly because they think that they will be the most supportive because they become providers too. They have forgotten that Prophet Muhammad pbuh`s legacy was passed on by his daughter Fatima raa.
Pray For Piousness
Parents shouldn`t focus on the gender of the child, but rather praying for it to be a good muslim/muslimah. Praying for pious children even before marriage shows that you are responsible and worried about their Hereafter. Instead of competing in numbers or a specific gender, rather be motivated to increase the quality of upbringing. We don`t always know whether a son will be more valuable than a daughter. Allah is going to send tribulations through our sustenance. We will meet both difficulties and ease. Thinking that those who have daughters are less blessed is wrong. Most parents realize later in life that daughters are a greater blessing. Mostly because of their softheartedness and emotional intelligence they take better care of their family/parents, compared to their sons.
Practice Equality In Giving
Often people with children from both genders, prefer the son more than the daughter. Prophet Muhammad pbuh was once sitting with some sahaba when one sahabi`s daughter came and she seated herself beside him. A while after his son came, he kissed him and let him sit on the lap. When the Prophet pbuh saw this he said that we can`t treat our children differently, but they should be treated equally. If you give a gift to one, the gift has to be given the other siblings. If not they will be questioned about that on the Day of Judgement. When Fatima raa visited Prophet Muhammad pbuh, he pbuh would kiss her hand and let her have his pbuh seat. She would return the gesture to him pbuh, when he pbuh visited her. He pbuh was also helpful in the house. Even if times have changes some men doesn`t help as much as they should. Learning about the sunnah might motivate men to do more.
When Allah withholds A Gift
It is Allah whom chooses sons for some and daughter for others. We can`t complain to Him and question His Wisdom behind the decision. Whatever Allah gives us, be grateful in good times and show patience in difficult times. There will be both. The happiest people are those who are content with the little they are blessed with. Being happy with the decree of Allah shows our dependency and trust in Him. He is the one in Control. We can draw a comparison through the lesson where a child is in his mother’s lap and wants to touch the fire. The mother knows that if he touches the fire, he will burn himself. The child doesn`t know that. The mother because of the love for her child, will keep him away from the fire. It is the same with every blessing. Sometimes Allah withholds something from us because He think something can hurt us through it. Other time He withholds to give us a bigger gift or to purify us and raise our status before we are given a gift.
Every Child Is Precious
Be fair to your children and express your love to them often. Make them feel loved, so they are not misled by people. Fill their bucket of confidence. Don`t hesitate to motivate them when they are down, or gently correct them when they need to be advised. Teach them good values to make them a contribute for the Ummah and their community. Through your efforts in their early years they can be a sadqah jariyah for you. Most of all treat them equally. Sibling rivalry can easily be controlled if the parents are fair between them and each child gets quality time alone with parents, so they don`t feel neglected. The other siblings won`t get jealous of the love they are giving. Gently advising them privately is the best way of getting any changes in their behaviour that can be improved for the future.
Men are the protectors and maintainers of the family. When they have the right universal values, so will their offspring too. I guess most of the parents that came to the West were more busy with earning money than Islam. Ma Sha Allah, now we see a lot of their children have become very religious, despite their parents not being the best role-models.
It is very important that we also teach our next generation the right values. For instance, it is very common that in a family with siblings, the daughters have to do most of the chores. I mean, has the Imam at the Mosque ever talked about this? We have to read sunnah and nawafil in the prayers, but what about following the sunnah in our life outside of the prayer. If we don`t teach our kids, mainly young boys that they have to help around in the house, and not leave all the work for the women, what kind of husbands do you think they will turn out to be? We have forgotten a lot of sunnahs. The Prophet (pbuh) was never shy to help around the house. He also mended his own clothes and shoes. Nothing will happen to your status if you give the women in your family a helping hand. Even when your friends and family are around. Are you to shy to follow the sunnah? It is ok when it suits your life, right? If it doesn`t than, never mind. It is very important that we try to think more about what Islam says, rather than what our culture is. There has developed clashes between religion and culture. You decide what will win.
Men have a lot of responsibility and I understand that. Another important aspect they have forgotten is to make sure that the people in their family doesn`t go away from Islam. They should rather make sure that the women in their life come closer to Islam. One thing that is very important is for example the prayers. Don`t just make sure you yourself read it on time, but make sure that your daughter, sister, mother and wife also get a chance to read it with proper concentration without having to hurry because the children are crying or that the dinner will burn. So that they also get a good equal chance to earn those rewards that you now have become so eager to earn. Remind them. Remember you have a responsibility. From character to spirituality, Islam is a way of life.
May Allah help all the men of this Ummah understand the responsibility that is put on their shoulders, and help them in fulfilling it in the best possible way. Ameen summa ameen.
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