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when you plan to marry her - jannah“Life-partners should have a faithfulness towards each other that no one can challenge. Whether male or female, or a member of the family, or a person at the work, or at the mosque. In the world outside people will say and do all sorts of things of all sorts of motives; often they try to upset a happy marriage for no other reason than that it is happy – this being a form of destructive jealousy. If you know your partner fully, and know their character, then you should be able to trust implicitly that he/she would not behave in a manner that would let you down, and that if they are accused of having done this, then the accusation is false”. – A good muslim Marriage.

Marriage is not about keeping score, if you hurt me 10 times, I will hurt you 11 times, just to keep the scores right, and get back at you. If you try to get back at your spouse when they are in any way un-kind, than you have missed the point of what marriage really is. It is Allah that is keeping the score. When you are nice to your spouse, it is not your spouse that will give you the reward for that, even he /she might be better towards you. The reward will come from Allah. Even when he /she is acting impossible. If you have sabr, Allah helps and give reward. If it was all about keeping account, than that wouldn`t be called love, but just a silly game.

Marriage is also security, for both. Even if your spouse has in any way been un-kind to you, you don`t use that as an excuse to flirt with others or try to look for other “opportunities”. When you marry someone you commit yourself 100 % to that person only and no one else. No matter what obstacle comes in you way, you will strive together. I think I am talking for the husband and wife when I say that both want this security, and trust. If you don`t have a solid foundation of trust in your commitment, the building will eventually collapse.

Another thing that is quite common is that spouses correct each other in front of other people. That is a big crime, and should be avoided. We know we`re not perfect, no one is. But when you bring out your spouse faults in front of others, that person loses his face in front of others. If you need to correct your spouse do it in private, when you get the chance. That is also the only way you will see any change. Of course, it should not be left unsaid that you are doing it for unselfish reasons and not because you want to bring him/her down. Be polite and to the point without any personal agendas.

Your wife needs to know that he/she can count on you. That even if you are pissed off about something, you won`t misbehave when he/she is not around. You would try to find the best solutions to solve your differences in an Islamic manner.

Let past be past. Don`t ask questions about it. Know that if he/she didn`t love you or choose you for marriage, you wouldn`t be together now. So be confident, that he/she chose you because he/she found something in you.

Both the husband and wife should have enough self-respect that they don`t take crap. If your spouse is behaving unreasonable without any logic reason, make him/her calm, or leave the situation, if you need to calm yourself down, so that you don`t say anything you would regret later. Misunderstandings are inevitable. How you manage them, is what makes your marriage good.

“No husband or wife is perfect, but when a husband shows love and thought for his wife, and act in accordance with the principles of Islam, he will surely earn not only her love and respect, but that of Allah Himself”. – A Muslim Marriage Guide.

De fleste har noe kunnskap om rettighetene sine i Islam. Men hvilke rett andre har over dem skaffer de ikke nok informasjon om, for å leve etter. Som feks at menn sier for å plage sin fiance at de skal ha fire koner. Men de tenker ikke på det faktum at ikke et eneste menneske her i verden greier å være rettferdig mellom flere koner. Ingen greier å være som vår Profet Muhammad (pbuh). Men det er ikke derfor mannfolk nevner dette. Det er heller for at de skal prøve å ha overtaket og tåler ikke å bli irrettesatt. Gjør man noe galt må man jo på en eller annen måte få vite det. Men når det samme skjer om og om igjen, da blir nok metoden for irrettesettelsen ikke den fineste.

Det er blitt en trend nå til dags at unge menn sier at de skal ha fire koner, uten å ha noe anelse av hvilken byrde det ville være økonomisk og ikke minst hvor liten tid de hadde hatt for den familien. De kjenner til de rettighetene som gavner dem uten å vite om alle rettightene de har i Islam til sine foreldre, sin kone, sine søstre, og sine brødre og landsmenn. Det er veldig synd at de på denne måten prøver å manipulere det andre mennesket i livet deres, som de egentlig skal være trofast mot i både gode og dårlige dager. Er dette ekte kjærlighet? Kanskje de burde lese om livet til vår profet(pbuh), om hvordan han var mot sine koner, ingen kan oppnå slik fullkommenhet som Han. Ingen menneske greier å være slik rettferdig mot sine koner, som vår Profet (pbuh). En annen sak er det at det er noen land her i Europa hvor det er forbudt med flerkoneri, og Norge er blant de landene. I verste fall kan man få fengselsstraff for slikt. Istedet for å manipulere sin andre halvdel, bør de ikke heller bruke kjærlighet til å vinne hennes gunst? Jeg mener hat avler hat, mer kjærlighet, ja hva kan det gi annet enn mer kjærlighet?

Dersom vi muslimer har mange rettigheter i islam så har også andre mennesker rettigherer over oss. Man kan ikke tenke ensidig i denne framstillingen, for å kunne bli en bra muslim. Som f eks har foreldrene masse rett over barna sine når de blir gamle, samtidig har også barna rett på at foreldrene gir dem tid. Det går begge veier. Man kan ikke gå igjennom hele livet uten å ha lagt tid og arbeid i sine barn og så forvente at barna skal ta seg av dem når de blir godt voksne. Men i islam, dersom barna har nok vett i seg vil de uansett ta godt vare på sine eldre. Det kommer helt an på hvilken type oppvekst de har fått.

Den eneste løsningen på dette her er å lese mer om islam om de viktige personene i vår historie og lære av deres handlinger og deres tenkemåter, om hvordan en skal oppføre seg i ulike situasjoner. Dersom våre eldre generasjon har gjort noen feil i sine liv bør vi i det minste prøve å lære av de feilene, enn å gjøre de samme feilene som dem. Det beste er at for hver generasjon som vokser er at man har framgang og ikke at man tilbakegang.

At the time jab Quran nazil hoa tha, people didn’t marry just one girl but had a bunch of girls without any order or law to it. And the girls didn’t have many rights if their man left them. They didn’t even had to marry them, just about like slavery they had to be with the guy who liked them or chose them. When islam came it gave women and men right to say no to a marriage and took care of them. Men were only allowed to marry four times, compared to before when they could have had a dozen of women. So of course that made the women’s right better. Also put in the time when this law came their were a lot of women where their men had died in the battlefield so marrying more than one women would help the whole family who had lost their father, hubby. So I can understand why it was like this when the ayat nazil hoi thi.

Though if we think about more than one marriage today, I would say no way. A big NO from me. A man can`t get enough love with one woman? How sick is that… Living in Norway where it isn`t even allowed to have more than one woman, people tend to have a woman in their homeland. Totally nut cases if you ask me. If my husband was to marry again after marrying me I would divorce him and marry myself with another who would keep his promises being faithful to me only. If he can`t be faithful then why should I? I would say every woman deserves a husband that is faithful to her and keeps promises he has made to her. I believe that when you marry someone you commit yourself 100% to only that person. In my view marrying more than once will be breake that commitment. So why stay with a person who can`t keep what he promises.

I know that this phenomena is very common these days, and is not even seen as a bad thing by parents nowadays. Though I must say that I`m totally against the fact that girls mix freely with guys and vice versa. I don`t want to know what`s common or what`s cool to do. All I want to know and what I want to do is the right thing. This is not ok for me. I would never approve that my hubby, when I get married that is, would have a girl as a friend. I don`t want to know the utts and buts, all I want to say is that it`s not ok with me. And that person who`m respects me and loves me would always keep that in mind whenever he has to interact with a girl, whoever she might be.

Living in Norway and working in an office, it`s impossible to say; You can`t talk to anyone but me. I know that is not the issue. We have to interact normally at work and of course in a public arena. I draw the line for my hubby to be, to have any other girls as friends. Mostly guys don`t see this as an issue, cause they don`t even share everything with their beloved, but from those that I know, this does make a big difference. I remember one time when I was going to the university, I was talking to a friend that worked at a shop their. Later I found out that she was the wife of my brothers friend. As I got to know here I remember I talked quite freely with her as she was my big sis. We were talking about marriage and people, especially guys having a past. What she said that day made a great impact on me. She said that I wish I could erase my husbands past. He had been into these kinds of friendships before, and she said that just knowing that he once was with someone else really hurt her. Although he was really nice and a great husband, she wished that she could erase his past. Thinking about that thing today, I would agree with her if I would be in such a situation.

For all you people out there I would only say one thing; for Gods sake don`t play around. Keep yourself busy with your parhai or your work, and when it`s time to get married, get married and nibhana it. And when you do get married, surely I hope you know what a sacred bond it is before you get into that, and that you will be faithful, caring and respectful towards your soul mate. Allah sab ke haq me behtar faisla karein.. Ameen summa Ameen.

The basic of a good relationship is after my opinion, trust, faithfulness, care, respect (self respect), the same values, the same goals in life, being truthful towards each other. Lacking any of these points can be crucial to the relationship. If the couple doesn’t have the same outlook on life it can cause lots of issues after marriage.

What do YOU think are the basics of a good and lasting relationship?

Sometimes a person can be unwilling to commit fully to one thing because that would mean giving up another thing. They would want to have the best of everything. In other words the security and Love in relationship/marriage and also freedom and lack of responsibility that go with being single. These two things do not go hand in hand.

The following is a conversations between Terry who`s cheating on his wife and a counselor :

Counselor: You seem to be pursuing the dream that by grasping for everything, you`ll be able to have everything.
Terry: That’s right. What`s wrong with that?
Counselor: But are you actually having everything. I gather that Ruth is threatening to leave you.
Terry: I don’t think she will.
Counselor: Suppose she does. What will you have?
Terry: I guess i`ll have to get another wife.
Counselor: Is that what you really want?
Terry: No
Counselor: In order what means more to you? Your flings or your marriage?
Chris: My marriage.
Counselor: If you had to choose, which would you take?
Terry: I already told you.
Couselor: So what will be subtracted if you give up running around?
Terry: I won`t have as much fun on trips.
Counselor: And what will you gain?
Terry: My wife.

What Terry here doesn’t understand is the crucial issues of basic trust. His wife interpreted his behavior as a sign that he was being untrustworthy, not truly committed to her, and that he did`nt really love her.

Taken out from” Love is never enough(”.)

Check out and click on site www . Purify Your Gaze . com

https://purifyyourgaze.com/

My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

Poetry

(“,) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (“,)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

Når du er forent med en
du elsker, er det ingenting
du ikke klarer :)

Gode ord skaper tillit.
Gode tanker skaper
Inderlighet. God
giverglede skaper
kjærlighet:)

Mood :)

Content.