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In the first years of our school, we learned about limits of interaction with other children. Our teacher told us that every child has an invisible boundary around us. Every child has different people who are allowed to cross that boundary. Since every child is different, and some children are more shy than others, some have a bigger circle of boundary around them. That means that if we were to talk with such a child, he/she would feel comfortable if we had some extra distance between him/her and us, while speaking. Other outgoing children can have a circle that is closer to their body, so you can stand much closer to them, and they would still feel comfortable having a conversation. So our teachers told us, some people are allowed to come into the circle, like our parents, siblings, closets friends. If anyone crosses our boundary, without permission, then we must be strong, and able to speak up and remove ourselves from the situation. Teachers made up an example of a situation, and children were taught how to remove themselves from the treath.

I think it is very important that this is taught to children and teens. So they are aware of it. Make them strong and able to protect their own boundaries. and not allowing any outsider to cross them. Ya Allah, make it easy for us to protect ourself. Ya Allah protect every ummati, from those who cross their boundaries, without permission. Aameen

prophet-muhammad-pbuh-i-love-mohammadOne matter we can improve is helping our children to get addicted to reading drud sharif as early as possible. There are many benefits of reading drud sharif, but the reason why I`ve heard it is good for families, is that it brings gentleness into our conduct. Many parents often complain that teens often become very rude and difficult. Reading drud often, everyday, can be something that tames their emotions and grant them control over themselves, so they become more easygoing, even within the family, not only with their friends.

Cultivate Gentleness In Your Child

Parents have a big job cultivating good qualities in their children. Often times as the child is growing, parents give their children different duties they have to do everyday, or some days in the week, to help them learn new task through responsibility. The parents make a chart for the whole week, and give a star for every accomplished work. One duty they can add to those chores is reading 100 drud sharif every day, in front of their parents, in the start, just so that the parents can hear them, help them recite it correctly, and make sure, they are actually reading it. As the child will get the hang of it, and the taste of it`s delights, parents can often say, if all four children read, drud every day 500 times, when each of the family member has read 10 000 drud or 100 000 drud, we will celebrate with an outing on a good halal restaurant, or a vacation somewhere they want to go, with islamic content, or some kind of reward / goal, you will easily motivate them.

The Atmosphere Will Change Positively

If your child start reading drud sharif regularly, You will see an immense difference in their attitude and behaviour. They will become more gentle in everything they do and say, and they will start liking sunnah deeds. Their love for Hazoor Paak pbuh will increase, and through that love, their obedience to Allah in private and public will improve. The drud sharif will beautify their inside and outside, with good sunnah conduct and noraniyat. What else can a muslim parent want for his / her child / teen? This will change the entire atmosphere of the house. Soon you will have less quarrels, more love and gracious practice towards each other. The love within the family, will increase. When the children slowly realize the good effect of reading drud sharif in their life, they will increase their practice of it, regardless of your motivation. When that happens you have done a great job, guiding your child to healthy habits. This will bring them bliss in this life and the hereafter. The drud sharif supports the reader of it, until the reader reads drud sharif so much, that Allah make it, the readers vasila, and take all his / her matters in His own Hands. Ya Allah grant this for every child, teen and adult of the ummah. Aameen.

love between spouse, sunnahIt is good to see that the community has seen the value of educating people before they get married to make sure that they are familiar to their responsibilities and their rights. Alhamdolillah. That is a great start. I feel that we need dig a bit deeper into the issue of marriage. To get a better result we must start earlier. First of all. Most of parents are not aware of the rights their children have to choose their own spouse, and mostly the relatives put many roadblocks in their way, if they don`t want two people to join in marriage. To give back the two individuals right to marriage, we must also educate their parents and their relatives, meaning the elders. Mostly whom has a twisted interpretations of Islam, and therefore also the practice.

The Struggle Is Real

If the mosque could have dars for parents that have children who are in their teens, it would help them understand, what kind of struggle teens have. We need to help parents understand that it is not easy for them to live here in the west and still stay pure. Parents can use the life of Sahaba to educate the teens on how they lived their life and what is expected from them according to Islam. Practice what they preach. Sadly most parents spend their time on matters that are pretty un-islamic. Teens learn love from the media, bollywood, hollywood and dramas, and think that they portray the right kind of love. WHen in fact they are not even near it. If the teens are taught about love through the lives of Prophet pbuh and Sahaba raa they will be educated in what could give them a more fulfilling and lasting marriage.

Asking For Trouble

If we want to get to the root of the problem, that is the parents and the community. If they have right values and live and act according to Islam, they will teach the same values to their children, through their life. Not just what they say or what image they have in their community. In most families the relatives wants to have a say when two families are thinking of marriage for their children. The chacha of fla fla is against it. Or the khallla of fla fla feels the same. Parents are also pressurized from the community and don`t know what to do. When in fact it is not the whole community that decides this. The people who want to get married doesn`t have a right to choose their spouse freely. When they meet so many roadblocks on the way. The elders are asking for trouble. Not only are they making it difficult for the ones that want to get married, to live a pure life, they are also increasing fitna by not accepting the good spouse that asking for their child in marriage. And most of all, I don`t understand how the alims or the mosque can close their eyes to this. Do they not know? Or maybe they agree to it. The culture is given precedence over religion. And that will make it more difficult for muslims to be true and sincere muslims.

Who Is To Blame?

It is to easy to put the blame on the spouses when a marriage fails. It is the fault of the community and their parents. What values they taught them from they were children and if they helped them follow Islam from them leading by example. It is the communities fault that they have not educated the parents. It is the parents fault that they have not taught the spouses their rights and obligations. When culture is more important than religion, we will have more trouble. We must get back to Islam not only by speech. That is where we will find blessings and everlasting happiness.

sunnah is helping around in the house, men, husband, fatherRamadan is a month to let our soul connect with Allah through ibaadah. It is important that all the family members get a chance to improve themselves, not only the men. Often the women in the house, daughter, sister, mother, wife does not get the chance to spend as much time for ibaadah because of the chores of the house. It is important that the whole family helps around, so that it doesn`t burden a few. Ramadan is not about the iftars and food we are going to eat at the end of the day, it is about getting closer to Allah and how can we possibly achieve that if we are over-burdened.

It is important that men help around the house more in ramadan. The same if you have children, keep them also busy helping. Good family ties kan only be kept from team work, we are in this together, one goal, and we help each other to do good. If ramadan is meant for us to forget the women in the house and overburdening them with our request for iftar meals, we are not living the essence of ramadan.

help me draw closer to you this ramadan.You are not the only one whom prayers are obligatory for. Your family must also pray. Make it easy for each other to pray. Give the women in your family breaks at salah time to complete the salah with khusoo and no concern for the food that is cooking. Men will be held accountable for every salah their daughters, sister, mother and wife missed or read being overburdened. Work chores can easily become family time, if we try to keep a good environment for each other. Maybe that is something that won`t make the chores that unwanted, especially by the children or teens. If these teens boys and girls are given good values from the start they will grow up and become an asset to the whole community, not only for themselves. Parents can teach them good qualities. It is vital that we give them time as the fragile age they are in. A good muslim is first and foremost good to his family. Ramadan is a time to grow spiritually. Make this a time for the whole family to help become better people and better muslims.

daughter, upbringing, mother, the muslim showA lot of people say that we lack kindness in the world. If only people would be nice to each other, people would live happy. I think we need to analyze what niceness is and what kind of values there are in a good friend to answer this question.

Parents that don`t give you what you want

Children and teens often criticize their parents that they aren`t being nice to them. Maybe because they tell them to do all their homework before they watch television, or always tell them to inform them where they are so they don`t get worried, or to help wash the dishes and other chores in the house. Would they have been nice to them if they let them stay up all night, drink and eat whatever they want, and go to school only if they feel like it? Would these teens become good adults if they have such an upbringing? Actually if the parents give their children a good upbringing the children might dislike it at the moment, but later on in their life, most of them would realize that their parents were right. It is not easy for a child/teen to see the hikmah/reason behind a decision. They must accept it. The parents often put their children’s needs before their own. That is the love they have for their children.

Only Allah knows the Hikmah of a decision

Niceness is not always that you get what you think is good for you. Withholding something can also be niceness, from parents or from Allah. We should always work and strive for the good we want, but sometimes what seem good to us, will maybe not be good to us, so Allah by his Rahma withholds that from us. We complain and stop to pray. Later on in our life, we see the hikmah of that decision and realize that it actually was for the best, even if it did cause us pain for some time. That is why it is important to do your best, but leave the rest to God. If it is Allah`s will you will achieve it, if it isn`t His will, He will give you something better in return if you are patient.

friendsWhat is a good friend ?

Often we choose people with the same hobbies as ours, as our friends. How will we be able to keep a conversation if we don`t have anything in common? First of all, a good friend is the people whom have good universal values. Often we see that the values of people we spend time with rub off on us. If they are decent people, we will learn decent things from them, if they are bad people, we will see some of the same things in us. For example, if your friends know the abc of breaking the rules by encouraging you to break the speed-limit when you are driving, bending tax-rules or other things, that is what you will learn from them. On the contrary if you have friends that goes regularly to the mosque or is learning the Quran, and listen and reads nasheeds, that is how you are going to be as well. Like-minded people find each other. A friend is the one whom will teach and tell you good things, and correct you privately when you are wrong. If he/she is your friend, they will worry about your Akhirah/Hereafter, and invite you to do good deeds, and want to see you in Jannah/Paradise with them.

Can you handle the truth?

Ultimately it boils down to the point that if some people care about you, they will tell you the truth in such a beautiful manner, even if they are correcting you, they are doing it in the best way, because they care. Would you rather they not? Those whom have others that worry for them are succesful people. Be it parents, siblings, spouses or friends. Those who truly value you as a person would want the best for you and guide you to do good deeds. They will tell you the truth in the doses you can take, so that you will be able to handle it, and grow as a person. We all have a responsibility of correcting each other privately in the best manner, so that we don`t discourage or depress people, but rather inspire them to become better people. Niceness is not that other people do as you wish at all times, but it is rather that they do what is right for you, even if you at the moment may dislike it. May Allah give us good friends and make us a good friend to others,  and make us trust the decisions Allah makes for us. May Allah help us help others. Ameen summa ameen.

 

It`s our responsibility to inject our kids with the best values, hobbies and positive attitude, to do our best to prevent them going astray. Kids need role models to which they can be inspired to keep them on the right path.

I know there`s a common issue in asian families that when kids come into their teens they more often are misled. To prevent this they need a person they could look upto a good role model. Please, let the kids join the soccer team, the chess-club, the naat-team in the mosque, take them to the mosque as early as possible to make som good habits from the start. Guide them into reading books from an early age. Don`t let them get so bored that they go out to find some action – come in a fight to kill boredom.

Always know as to where your kids are. And when i mean know i mean, do check out if they are where they said they were going. As to kids are very smart, they could easily take advantage of the fact that; my dad/mum isn`t going to check if I`m at Mohammeds` house or shopping nearby. Some kids do need tough guidelines to keep them on track and others can be dealt with more easily. Parents nowadays aren`t always aware of their kids whereabouts. The kids are often seen in shopping malls where they hang on the corner and can bump into dangerous situations.

You as a parent need to KNOW your kids friends. Where they live, phonenumbers, what kind of people the family is in whole. That will surely create a postivie atmosphere for your kid and his/her friends. Kids need friends to have someone to share their thoughts with, sharing interest is very important and will build up their personality making them social beings.

You as a parent have the responsibility for teaching your children that girls and boys share all the household chores. You do everything at home as a team. If someone get sick we all should know how to put some food on the table for the family. Everyone should help around to keep the home tidy.

By simply being there for your kids knowing how their day has been, playing an active part in their life, you can Inshallah do miracles.. May Allah keep all the kids in the world on the straight path, and give them right guidance with the right values in life. Ameen sum ameen.

Check out and click on site www . Purify Your Gaze . com

https://purifyyourgaze.com/

My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

Poetry

(“,) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (“,)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

Når du er forent med en
du elsker, er det ingenting
du ikke klarer :)

Gode ord skaper tillit.
Gode tanker skaper
Inderlighet. God
giverglede skaper
kjærlighet:)

Mood :)

Content.