You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Improvement’ tag.

you are good enough, dont let anyone tell you otherwiseA home should be a place where everyone has sanctity. There is a huge different in being a place where you are tolerated instead of being a place where you are celebrated. A place where we accept each other, where we can be just as we are, without having people who always pinpoint something wrong in you. The parents are responsible to help children develop positive attitude towards their siblings and others. When they make a positive environment for their children, a place where they practice compassion and attentive listening, without sarcastic remarks, their attitude will rub off on their children as well. To cultivate good qualities is important both in home, at school, work or with friends.  When children and family members have space to ask question without being laughed at or feel dumb, they will grow as people, and become smarter. The same goes at school or at work. As long as there is an environment where people are welcomed just as they are, without being ridiculed or humiliated for it, they will play an active part in the goals that are for the group. We often talk about how certain people can improve their lives. Those who are succesful and smart have an idea of how it worked out for their life and so they like to share their view, to help others. That is good until they somehow indirectly put other down or somehow indirectly tell them how they failed. Without creating a positive environment, any change can be difficult to maintain for a long time.

Different Understanding

Teachers especially knows what I am talking about. Picture you are a teacher for a group of teenagers. You have just been selected for the job. After a few days of teaching you understand that the class has different level in their understanding. You can`t use the same material for all of the students. You have to use different methods to teach them. Not only that. Since some of them are slow at learning and some are quicker, the slower are making more trouble in class, because they see how in-adequate they are compared to the other who are smarter. The teacher has to make a good environment for learning if they want the children to progress.

Put Aside Differences And Work For A Common Goal

The same goes for a working place. If the manager wants all the employees to make progress he has to make sure that the environment is encouraging and people enjoy working there. The employees are often different, but as long as the management is good, the environment will also be good. Which in fact means both for the students in the classroom and the employees at a working place. The management / teacher has to have certain rules, that if and when are broken, they will be sanctioned. They should not be afraid of showing a yellow card the moment they see that some people are misbehaving. The most important point is to find out the reasons behind a persons misbehaviour. Sometimes the one that is making the most trouble is the one that is being treated unfairly by others. Sometimes people indirectly exclude some, just because they are different. Here the management/teacher has to make sure that all the rules are being followed. They can say : “We don`t have to agree about everything to cooperate about a project or task at work or school”. Surely most of the places we are either in home, school or work, most of the people are very different. So we learn to put our differences aside and work for a common goal, which is a, b or c.

Compassion Will Change Your Thinking

It is so easy for those who have a succesful recipe for life, to point out mistakes in other people`s life. If they had done certain things differently everything would have been better. No. We don`t know what other people are going through. What kind of obstacles that are in their life. We can`t be indifferent to people’s struggles when they are coping with anything, without being in the same shoes. We have to practice compassion. As easy as it seem to do things differently, a bad environment won`t make it easier to change anything. It boils down to creating a good environment for learning to apply what we learn. As long as we don`t have that, it will take more time to improve, if at all possible to make any change.

sunnah is helping around in the house, men, husband, fatherRamadan is a month to let our soul connect with Allah through ibaadah. It is important that all the family members get a chance to improve themselves, not only the men. Often the women in the house, daughter, sister, mother, wife does not get the chance to spend as much time for ibaadah because of the chores of the house. It is important that the whole family helps around, so that it doesn`t burden a few. Ramadan is not about the iftars and food we are going to eat at the end of the day, it is about getting closer to Allah and how can we possibly achieve that if we are over-burdened.

It is important that men help around the house more in ramadan. The same if you have children, keep them also busy helping. Good family ties kan only be kept from team work, we are in this together, one goal, and we help each other to do good. If ramadan is meant for us to forget the women in the house and overburdening them with our request for iftar meals, we are not living the essence of ramadan.

help me draw closer to you this ramadan.You are not the only one whom prayers are obligatory for. Your family must also pray. Make it easy for each other to pray. Give the women in your family breaks at salah time to complete the salah with khusoo and no concern for the food that is cooking. Men will be held accountable for every salah their daughters, sister, mother and wife missed or read being overburdened. Work chores can easily become family time, if we try to keep a good environment for each other. Maybe that is something that won`t make the chores that unwanted, especially by the children or teens. If these teens boys and girls are given good values from the start they will grow up and become an asset to the whole community, not only for themselves. Parents can teach them good qualities. It is vital that we give them time as the fragile age they are in. A good muslim is first and foremost good to his family. Ramadan is a time to grow spiritually. Make this a time for the whole family to help become better people and better muslims.

never give up, chessWe are all priceless people and our individuality must be nourished. Instead of trying to fit in, we should help and encourage children to dare to stand out in a crowd, from a young age. Dare to go against the crowd. Just because some norms have become ordinary doesn`t mean we can`t evaluate, adjust and make better norms. The society and we are gradually changing whether we want it or not. Even if we resist change, it won`t stop the earth from spinning in its course or the sun or the moon from shining. Maturity is to accept change. Not only accept it but be an active part in inspiring/motivating a change for the better. An hadith quoted by Prophet Muhammad pbuh said: That time Islam came it was introduced as something strange, because it differed from the society at that time. He pbuh goes on saying that it will return to something strange, so glad tidings to the strangers. Just because it has become a norm that it isn`t “normal” to i.e. pray regularly / not backbite / wear hijab etc, doesn`t mean we can`t go back to the Sunnah of our Prophet pbuh, renew our intentions and make a norm that we are going to try to achieve this and make it a norm in our life. Our Prophet pbuh has said that anyone who reminds people about forgotten Sunnah and is capable of motivating them to follow it will have the reward of all those who start following it, without it detracting the least from their reward. (Tirmidhi). Subhan Allah what an immense opportunity. Eventually it can become an ongoing charity that only increases and pass on for generations to come. We just need to start somewhere.


Everyone has to start from where they are.

Some knows much but follows little, other knows little but follows new things they learn. In the beginning when Allah guides us to Islam, either we are born muslim or convert to it, we start by focusing on the outward appearance. Proper salah, beard, hijab, pay zakat etc. When our zaahir / outwardly looks like a muslim, we can focus on the inwardly things that are invisible, baatin, like character, taqwa, intention etc. Just because a brother has beard or a sister has hijab doesn`t tell us whether they are mu`min one that does what is required in Islam and stays away from what`s prohibited and the extra voluntary Ibaadah as well or on the other side one that is just a muslim and believes in Islam but doesn`t follow all the rules. But to come anywhere near becoming a mu`min we need to start being a muslim. You know at the time of the Prophet pbuh and tabièn, people put more effort in improving their baatin, and had a not so good zaahir. They were the best of muslims. Nowadays people may have a beautiful zaahir but rather bad baatin because of bad character. Jealousy, envy, hatred, having bad thoughts about other, backbiting, spreading malicious gossip has become the norm rather than the exception. A good deed will still be a good deed, even if no one does it, a bad deed will still be a bad deed, even if everyone does  it. Instead of supporting eachother in doing bad deeds, we should rather try to motivate eachother to do good deeds. What is within our capacity.


Friends for eternity

It is important that we look at others who are better than us in deen, to motivate us also to improve ourselves. Our friends has an impact on our personality. If we always hang around with righteous people, their thoughts and behaviour will rub off on us too. If we always spend time with people who are worse than us in deen, we might learn things that will misguide us further away from Islam. Allah is the only One Who guides. If one person in a circle of friends becomes better, he/she should also try to change his/her surrounding. If that is not possible than at least don`t let his environment change him/her and try to seek more righteous company.


own faults
Make others feel hopeful rather than hopeless

Iman rises with doing good deeds and decreases by sinning. Because the nature of humans is that they sometime or other will fall into sin, it is important that we turn back to Allah and repent as soon as this happens. Make it a habit to not let our sin make us feel hopeless. We need to be feeling hopeful of Allah`s forgiveness. He forgives everything as long as we have pure intentions and make amends. We should also have a responsibility on others that we always make other feel hopeful of Allah`s Mercy. Or else we will be made answerable for coming in the way of someone whom wanted to turn back to Allah, but because of our negativity, strayed. Hate the sin, but not the sinner, as everyone can and will sin. An awesome quote says: just because someone sins different from us, shouldn`t make us feel better than them. Allah loves the humble sinner more than those people whom becomes proud after he/she has done a good deed. We must know that anything good we have done, it is because Allah guided us. He is the only one whom guides. So he wants us to do it. It should make us feel thankful/grateful, that he chose us to be amongst those people whom does some good deeds, be it prayer, charity or someone whom helps other or anything that leads to good. Allah inspires good things to us. It is not because of ourselves.


People find faults even where there are few

We should not be scared of showing the world that we are muslims, by having beard/ hijab etc or performing salah. Though it is also important that if we have started with something good, let it become a norm before we share it with others. The evil eye is for real. There are some people whom no matter what good things you do, they`ll always pinpoint the mistakes, rather than appreciating the good you do. Don`t mind others. We will get back from Allah. People criticize, judge, find faults even if there aren`t many. Allah hides flaws, forgives, helps through difficult times, regardless of amount of sins. As long as we purify our intentions once in a while, we will always turn back to Him to put our trust where it belongs. He is sufficient for us. When our intention is to please Allah, we won`t mind what people say. Some times they are on your side, other times they are against you. People change quicker than the weather. If we rely on Allah alone, we will not be disappointed. There is no better support in the universe than Him. We dare to stand out in a gathering, only when we know we are on the right path. May Allah guide and keep us on the right path always. Ameen summa ameen.


life, thinker, mirror, bonde, dronning, queenTo be able to live a happy life, it is very important for every person to have a good amount of self-esteem within themselves. You have to work with yourself to have a positive balance within you. Whether your male or female. We cannot rely on the sources outside. Others can`t or won`t always cheer us up. We need to nurture our confidence so that it can grow. Of course it gives you a boost that other people think positive thoughts about you. But it won`t last if we don`t feel the same way about ourself. Another point is that people whom have low self-esteem don`t always validate or believe other people`s praise about them. They`re simply to low to feel that there is any good in them.


Make a list of achievements on a daily basis

The best way to deal with low self-esteem is to keep a diary of your achievements with you through the whole day. Here you can write three things you have achieved per day, and your mood, by the side of it. For example, today I managed to get an A on the x exam. It made me feel intelligent and I know i earned it because of my hard work the weeks before it. Mood : Smart/Happy/Intelligent/Diligent, etc. By doing this you will slowly start to rebuild confidence.


To much ain`t good either

Just like it isn`t good to have low self-esteem, it isn`t seen as a good thing to be over-confident either. We need to be balanced and be in touch with reality.  I know I have done this before, but that doesn`t mean that I will be able to do this. No one likes bragging over-confident people. What attracts others is humility and people whom have their feet planted on the ground. By knowing your potential and the fact that we can all err at sometime, you will be in touch with the real you. We must not blind our vision by always thinking positive, but we must also know the reality, and whether a goal is achievable or not.


There is always room for improvement

If you have low self-esteem it is important that you keep writing three positive achievements a day, for about three to five months. After that you can try to come with suggestions on how you can improve yourself. Like for instance, one suggestion a day about how you can improve a certain conduct in yourself. It is very important that you don`t start with this before you have build your self-esteem to a certain extent that you don`t end up with a negative balance. It`s about being positive but at the same time having the insight that there are certain  things I can do better. There is always room for improvement. No one is perfect. Knowing this and keeping it in mind, whenever we fail, would help us to dust of the negativity and at the same time we give ourself chances to improve, with suggestions like, next time I`ll meet that situation like this or that.


You can`t stop setbacks, only how you deal with them

The most important thing is that we will have setbacks and things that happen in our lives that can be totally negative a day/week/month. The best thing is that on these rainy days you take out your diary and read the achievements you have been writing for some time. That would boost you enough to bounce back into a positive mood. You will realize that even though I messed up today/this week/this month, I have done a lot of good things that weigh more than these “incidents”. You will find inner strength and feel less dependent on your surrounding, spouse, family to cheer you up.


Low self-esteem in spouse

When one of the spouses in a relationship has low self-esteem, believe me, the couple will go through some tough times, until they work on themselves. It can be very difficult to be positive and have a wonderful relationship, if one or both of the spouses is always negative. To turn this around, both should keep a diary of their achievements. If you know your spouse is dealing with this, do not critisize him/her.  Especially not in front of others, be it children, parents or siblings. Also don`t think that this is not a male-issue. This can happen to both genders. What is important is that both are mature enough to see where they lack and being willing to work on it. Sometimes it is hard to be true to your spouse, because you know he/she can be hurt about it. So instead of saying, you do this or that, say lets do this together, both of us. Realization is important, and willing to make a difference. Another thing is that even if you have a positive balance today, doesn`t mean it will always be like that. Negative things can happen at any time. We can never be safe from that. But if we ourselves are strong, we will handle them better in a way that we bounce back to our positive attitude if we have worked on it.


You can never be too late for this

The right time is now. You can never be too late/too old/too young. Even if you are in your teens, student, married, single, parent. Know that when you have worked on this for some time you will feel a positive change in how you think, and be able to handle the ups and the downs in your life. Keep a positive track for about 3-5 months and after that start with one thing you can improve about yourself daily. Don`t start with the improvement list to early, before you have a positive account. How much time you need can be individual. You know when your ready for it. The best way to find inner strength is to be your own best friend. Only than you are able to have healthy relationship, be it family, spouse or friends. Your self-esteem will remain and increase regardless of your surrounding. You will become more positive and believe in your own abilities. You will come to know yourself, your strenghts/weaknesses. You will become a better version of yourself. What can be better than that? Try it for a month, and see how it changes your life for the better.

Check out and click on site www . Purify Your Gaze . com

My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 132 other followers


March 2018
« Feb    

Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!



(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)


(“,) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (“,)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
Ameen summa ameen

Når du er forent med en
du elsker, er det ingenting
du ikke klarer :)

Gode ord skaper tillit.
Gode tanker skaper
Inderlighet. God
giverglede skaper

Mood :)