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Marital Discord - book cover darussalamAbdullah bin Masud raa said : ” Artisans such as he were known to work during the night, so that if sleep overcame him, he would only wake up upon the rising of the sun. His situation is equivalent to one who is overcome by habit, one who is not able to wake up and not one who refuses to wake up, which is why – through Allah`s kindness to his slaves and the Prophet`s kindness to his nation – The Prophet (pbuh) said: ” So when you wake up, O Safwan, then pray”. Hence Safwan`s situation was similar to a person who becomes unconscious and cannot subsequently wake up. And perhaps this only occurred to Safwan raa sometimes – for example, when he had no one nearby to wake him up.

“Let no woman mix with another woman and then describe that woman to her husband, so that it is as if he is looking at her (so vivid or stimulating is her description). (Sahih, Bukhari, Abu Dawud).

The wisdom behind this prohibition is that a man might become fascinated by the woman being described, so that one things lead to another until he divorces his wife or succumbs to temptation by trying to meet and then seduce the woman who was being described to him.

A woman might, naively, describe a woman she met, having been impressed by her character and her beauty. Since she struck up a friendship with that woman, she is excited to tell her husband all about her, telling him more and more after each meeting. Sadly, she does not realize that, at times, the heart precedes the eyes in the process of falling in love. She might have loving relationship with her husband, and then suddenly things being to change between them, but she doesn`t know why. Then, finding an opening through which to attack, the shaitan (the devil) intervenes to complete the destruction of their family. Shaitan plants the idea of trying to see that woman in the mind of the husband, and a willing victim that he is, he loses no opportunity to see her and, if possible, speak to her. Not only that, but he tries to find out as much as he can about her, including her marital status, her age – and her address. Shaitan helps him constantly strike up an image of her in his mind`s eye, so that even when he is with his wife in bed, he is imagining her. Then he begins to hate his wife, and since he needs an excuse in order to get rid of her, he finds ways to fight with her and to ascribe evil qualities to her in front of others. This all began when his wife described the beauty of another woman to him. He might have children, but no matter, he is falling to a lower and lower depths, life becomes more and more unbearable. Because of financial or psychological or societal concerns, he does not outright tell his wife that he is in love with the other woman. Having to bottle up his feelings, he finds ways to create problems that work to undo the stability of his family.

Nor is it permissible in the shariah for a man to describe his wife to others. At-Tijani reported the following narrative in Tuhfatul Arus. Ma`bad As-Saliti had a beautiful wife named Hamidah. One day, Ma`bad recieved orders to join the army that was headed towards Khurasan. He left and at some point during his journey, he spoke to his companions about his wife`s beauty and about how much he loved her so much, that he considered disobeying the ruler and fleeing from the army in order to return home. Having heard Ma`bad`s description, a man named Hut bin Sinan, began to have feelings for Ma`bad`s wife. He said to Ma`bad “I want to go to Basrah (which is where Ma`bad lived). Ma`bad said, “Then I will write a letter and give it to you, so that you can give it to hamidah”. When Hut arrived at Basrah, he hastened to Hamidah`s home with her husband’s letter. Intent as he was to see her, he refused to give it to anyone (such as a servant), saying, “I will not hand it to anyone other than her”. She then appeared before him, and he spoke to her. Some of the feelings of lust that mingled in his heart began to mingle in hers. It is  needless to say that temptation increased as he visited her on a frequent basis, until finally, they ran away together. Their whereabouts remained unknown for an entire year. Then some of her family saw her and learned that she had conceived a baby. News of her situation spread and she was apprehended by a ruler. After being taken into custody, and after her guilt been established, Hamidah was stoned to death for the crime of adultery.

(Extracts taken out of the book “Marital Discord – Causes and Cures).

There are two very important lessons to take out from this chapter in the book. One is woman should not mention anything about their female friends to their husbands, and husbands should not mention anything about their wife to their male friends, to decrease temptation that later can lead to a broken marriage. May Allah help the Ummah.

muslimah, hijab, crown, princessNote To Myself And The Women Of The World:

Don`t let the world degrade you to an object to please strangers eyes. You are worthy of being the slave of Allah. Which is the highest status any woman can have. Don`t dress to impress men that would degrade you to a thing. Rather dress for your Lord. Your hijab protects you against being just an attraction for men. Your status as a human being, a woman, is so much more. As a mother; jannah lies at your feet, as a wife; you fulfil half of the deen of your Husband, as a Daughter; you are a rahma for the family and your parents and brothers ticket to heaven, depending on how they treat you and what kind of islamic upbringing they give you.

Your hijab doesn`t hide your opinion, rather it gives you freedom to express them by people focusing on what you say, rather than how you look like. How you dress yourself proclaims how you think about yourself, and how you want others to think about yourself. Respect yourself, and don`t let the world put standards for you. Raise your standards to what position Allah has given you, and you will in sha Allah reap the reward for the good you do in this world.

-Inspired by dai`s around the world.

status of women in islam 2Every boy is taught by his parents and especially the males in his life, how to treat women. If those role-models have poor character, than that would rub on of the boys/kids. This is mostly the parents fault as they are not teaching the right values to their children. It would not be far from the truth that if a kid grows up in a family, where the head of the family, is very strict, and his sisters and the mother has to do all the work home and is not treated fairly. That is what they will become when they become adults.They will think, that only their sisters, spouse, mother, daughter etc has to do all the work. That they can treat them the way they want. They will have zero respect for them and oppress them. It won`t stop them from mistreating girls at school, work, in the bus, and wherever they see them they will look down on them like they are less worth than them. Would they have liked if someone treated someone they loved like that? If they behave like that they don`t even know what love is, or what true love is.

Imagine, a kid that has grown up with the values of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), because his father and the men in his life practiced those values. How do you think that person would treat his mother, spouse, sister or daughter. Wouldn`t he just cherish them beyond means and be the best to them. Not only to respect them and help them around the house, but also protect them and have a strong feeling of gheerah towards them.

If the kids aren`t taught the right values, that would have an impact on them throughout their lives. Of course, it`s not always the parents fault either. Sometimes the parents has done a great job in raising their kids, but the influential environment they are living in, their friends and surroundings, have bad influence on them. Just to play cool and be liked by their friends, they end up mistreating the same gender of the one that gave birth to them and took care of them when they couldn`t do anything by themselves.

In respect of how our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) taught men to treat the women in their lives, there are several lessons to learn. For instance, the prayer of your mother (father) is near to Allah and answered. If you are good to them, they will pray for your good. If you are mean to them, no matter how much they try to control of themselves, Allah can listen even their supplications in their hearts. So if you shouldn`t mistreat your mother, than you are also in respect of the gender never mistreat any other girl/woman also. Remember that the prayer of the oppressed is near to Allah. If you oppress someone their prayer could ruin your life or worst of all, your akhirah (Hereafter).

There is an hadith where the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) says that if parents/brothers have three of four daughters/sisters and they are good to them, and teach them Islam and they practice it, Jannah will be theirs. A girl/woman is a rahma to the family. They have soft hearts and are more gentle in mind and have more EQ (emotional intelligence) than men. Think if men had the responsibility of raising the children. It is the nurturing of a woman who raise children that becomes good people and a treasure to the society they live in. The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) visits the house, where there is born a girl. That is truly a blessing.

Another thing is that men may have protective gheerah towards their own woman, but soon as they see another girl/woman, They would say bad things about her and treat her like trash. Isn`t she someone`s sister, spouse, mother daughter? Would you want some people to do the same to the women in your life? I reckon your answer is no. Therefore always know that you should love for your brother what you love for yourself. Just like you have a right to live happy, married and blessed, so does your brother. If you want to have all the great things that life has to offer. So does your brother 🙂 If you put obstacles in your brothers way, than you should be scared of the punishment for that from Allah. No one deserves oppression. Not even Pharaoh, to give an extreme example. Allah is just, and will give patience and victory to the oppressed.

If you are feeling sad because your brother has been given a blessing, then be patient and happy for him. He may have struggled his buts of for it for years. Instead of putting obstacles in his way, be happy for him and pray that Allah grants him more. A part of that supplication is for yourself, as an angel by your side will say: ” and may you have something similar”. Be patient. When your time will come, Allah will grant you abundance. Allah is great, and has so many blessings to offer. As a saying says, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Just because there is one fish less, doesn`t mean we are out of fish 😉 Be happy for each other instead of putting each other down. Remember, if you support your brother in his times of need, Allah will support you, in your times of need. Because as you reap you shall get. 🙂

hijab1Parda karna mein auraton ki zeenat hain. Hijab is the beauty of muslim woman. The beauty of woman lies in their pious character and not in their outer appearance. Their body will most probably fade and crumble as the years pass by. Though the character of a woman will only increase her in beauty as the years pass by.

Of course people get attracted to those that are beautiful. But that attraction does not last for a long time if the same person is ill-mannered. A look at a beautiful woman might catch your attention for a moment, but a beautiful character that is what catches the heart.

As one grows older one understands that beauty is not as important as character and good manners are. The people with good manners are the ones that are highly respected. People like them regardless of which faith they themselves have.

Talking to girls and woman reading this, I would like to say, if he doesn`t like you for what is in your heart and your personality he would never stay by your side as times go by. That person would only fall for the next woman who looks more beautiful than you. Isn`t it better to marry someone who wants to marry you because of your character and your religion than because of your looks. It is your character your husband has to live with throughout the years.

When that is said, you will understand where I`m heading. When your beauty is not what attracts the right guy, why not hide it for the one and only in your life. The muslim perspective is that we woman create fitnah when we step out of our homes be it at school, work or out shopping. If we aren`t dressed properly we are properly viewed by other men we don`t even know who are. Instead of showing our beauty to every person passing by us, we should try to wear proper hijab so that our beauty is protected from different glances and stares from the opposite gender.

When we maintain the correct hijab, and not the i-am-a-fashion-hijabi than we will be able to minimize attention and be able to achieve blessings from Allah for not creating fitna. It is our responsibility as muslim woman.

When our brothers and our mehrams tell us to wear proper clothes we should respect the kind of gheerah (protective jealousy ) they have for us. They know how the mens thoughts work and they don`t want anything to happen to us.

Remember sister, when you step out of the house, the protection you had around you in you home isn`t there. When we minimize the fitna we could cause, we would be able to please our Creator.

One thing I read on the internet that made me work on completing my hijab is that if we cause fitna for other men, then other woman will cause fitna for the men in our lives, be it brother, husband or son. That line I read woke me up and scared me so much. I don`t want that to happen so I try to focus on completing my hijab, the correct way.

It is also important that we don`t look down on other woman who don`t wear hijab. It took me years to perfect my hijab and it still needs work. Allah guided me but my hijab isn`t perfect. So if some other women you know is not there yet, ask Allah for them to also see the beauty in wearing hijab, and protecting themselves and being the muslimah our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) would be proud of having in his Ummah. In sha Allah, ameen.

Hijab is not only a scarf on our head it is the way we are totally hidden not wrapped. It is also the way we talk, and carry ourselves as we walk, trying to not get too much attention as we are outside our safe zone at home. We need to focus on all these aspects when we try to perfect our hijab.

The Prophet has said that woman will be the of the inhabitant of hell. So it is important that we don`t lose hope in each other and keep on giving islah and dawa so that more woman/girls can prosper and achieve Jannah, In sha Allah, ameen.

No one is perfect. We just need to ask for guidance from above and work on ourselves. That is the only way. May Allah help us in perfecting our hijab and keeping us well hidden like a pearl and keep us steadfast on the deen and keep guiding us to do right give dawah/islah in the best possible way in sha Allah, ameen summa ameen. Remember the whole Ummah in your prayers in sha Allah ameen.

Check out and click on site www . Purify Your Gaze . com

https://purifyyourgaze.com/

My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

Poetry

(“,) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (“,)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

Når du er forent med en
du elsker, er det ingenting
du ikke klarer :)

Gode ord skaper tillit.
Gode tanker skaper
Inderlighet. God
giverglede skaper
kjærlighet:)

Mood :)

Content.