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It’s very interesting how elders, aunties and uncles are. When it comes to their son, they want their son to have the “upper hand” in the marriage, always. When it comes to their daughter, they want their daughter to have the “upper hand” in the marriage. The elders want their own children to decide. Most of them have learned this from the culture (society). If we as practising muslim look at it in the light of quran and sunnah of ‎ﷺ they have told us how rights and responsabilities is to be shared between husband and wife in a marriage. If husband and wife fulfil their duties towards each other, In sha Allah they will have a blessed life. When we deviate from islam to culture, many problems arise. Ya Allah, protect every marriage. Aamen. Ya Allah, grant every spouse to fulfil their duties towards each other with goodwill. Aamen. Protect us from following culture when it misguides us away from Islam. Aamen 

Every hijabi girl or woman is struggling with this. How can I feel beautiful, at the same time, win the struggle of perfecting my hijab. Most men look for beauty in a woman. If both men and women were taught how and what beauty actually is, this struggle wouldn`t have been so damaging for the society/community.

Value Real Beauty In Others

Here in Norway, we see a great diversity of hijabi women and girls. Many of them has a zahiri correct hijab. And many also deviate from the whole concept, and fall into the faults of hijab that goes against it`s meaning. When women wear hijab, that attracts attention, they are not honouring it. Make-up, strong colors, camel-hump style, tight clothing, and see-through-fabric. All these matters, make them attractive to other men and boys. If we could teach our girls, what beauty is. And help them to value it in other people. We can help them in this fight. Their hijab is supposed to hide their beauty, not their beauty more prominent.

hijab-for-husband-beauty-for-dunya-or-oppositeHusbands: Re-assure Your Wife Often

Most women doesn`t know what beauty is. They work on their looks, every day. Looking beautiful is not the same as feeling beautiful. If they knew how beautiful good values, good conduct, good character, good manners, integrity is, they would try to increase their effort in cultivating these qualities in them and their children. That is what the sunnah of Hazoor Paak pbuh, has taught us. The right hijab for a woman or girl, wouldn`t have been such a big issue, if the men, those who will become a muslim husband, were also taught, what beauty actually is. The women, adores themselves for their husband. If men would appreciate their wife, when she beautified herself for him, she would probably put more effort in it. If the dear husband, helped their wife feel beautiful, she wouldn`t look for the reassurance other places. Like when she step out of her home. When wives in general doesn`t feel beautiful and aren`t certain about their beauty, they beautify themselves. That would attract attention, to confirm what they want to hear. That they are beautiful. If there husband doesn`t help them find this. They try to find it outside home.

She Always Finds Something Negative About Herself

A right size model, beautiful, can think that she is ugly. Not because she is comparing herself to others. But she is looking for perfection in what she is seeing on the outside. I want no pimples. No fat. Right color of hair. Always wearing make-up. If anyone saw her, they would be amazed by her outer appearance. But her friends knows. She has low self-esteem and confidence. No matter how beautiful she looks, she always find something negative in it. Negative self-talk. If she would instead cut time she spends on her outside for so many hours daily, and instead spend half an hour on building her self-esteem and self-confidence regularly. She would feel beautiful. She would have a positive attitude about herself. Easily forgive. No matter how much weight she will gain, she will think good of herself. She would know her strengths and weaknesses. She would have self-insight about herself, and become self-empovering. If parents helped young girls, and build them up from the inside, no matter how people talked about their appearance, they would be confident within themselves. When people understand how to feel beautiful, they work more on those matters, because it releases positive energy. It`s no more about, I want to look good anymore. It`s about I want to do good deeds, because that makes me feel good. Real beauty is not about those who heart eyes, with their beauty, it`s about those who melt hearts with their good and decent conduct. These people change hearts. They can make a difference.

wife-beautify-yourself-for-your-husband-muslim-showHusbands And Wives Duties And Rights

From the time a girl is young, she is looking forward to one day find a man and get married. Many girls and women want to wear hijab, but are afraid whether that will hinder them from finding a spouse, in their future. This is why it is important for the entire muslim community, in every country, to teach their boys and men, what beauty is. Help them understand the beauty of how good righteous women, can help them achieve great work for Islam, by supporting them in their way for Islam. Male find comfort in their wife, that rejuvenate them to get closer to Allah. Maybe that is why Allah said the best joy for a muslim man, is having a righteous wife. She will help him do good. Comfort him, and motivate him, to do more. In the journey of having a good relationship with her husband, every wife must understand, the necessary of the wife adoring herself for her husband. When she will put some effort in this for her marriage, it will make it easier for the husband, to lower his gaze and keep himself pure. Other women will make less fitnah for her husband, because he is being fulfilled with what he needs, from his wife. This sunnah, is often ignored by many wives. They don`t keep themselves clean in the house. Or beautify themselves only for their husband’s sake. This causes damage to their husbands, whom are really hungered when they step out every day. In the west, when men go outside for work, they can easily get attracted to other females, because of the fitnah of how they beautify themselves. Nowadays, even a muslimah without hijab and with hijab can be a fitnah for a muslim man. When the wifes hungers their husbands, and they meet these sights outside their home, I can understand, what kind of difficulty this must cause for their life. If both the wife and husband, dig in their goodwill towards each other, and starts to do the work they are needed to keep each other fulfilled, many troubles can be minimized or sorted out. And the couple and the family could enjoy a more blessed and barakah full life.

A Summarized List To Remember Always:

1. Help children boys and girls understand the beauty of good conduct, good deeds, helping hands for those less fortunate.
2. Parents build the self-esteem and confidence of their children, boys and girls.
3. Every wife, beautify yourself unconditionally for your husband only
4. Every husband, appreciate your wife unconditionally, shower on her love. When she feels beautiful, she would do more to look beautiful.
5. When every marriage is fulfilling the need of the husband and wife, they will be rejuvenated to do much more. This will help the wife fulfil her duty of hijab, and the husband to lower his gaze when he steps outside. Happy and good parents raise great children.

Protect Your Marriage = Protect Your Community

If we are able to raise children who know what beauty is, and confident about themselves, they will be a positive contributor for both muslim and non-muslim community in your country. There is a reason why some male, men and boys, stand on the corner of many places in most countries, even islamic countries. When every wife and husbands spends time on protecting their marriage, it also protect other marriages. Every man or woman, who has to step outside, and is not fulfilled from the home, will easier fall into fitnah. It doesn`t have to be a affair. It can be media, pictures, programmes etc. These people can cause trouble for other marriages. That is why every married ummati, must fulfil their duties upon their spouse, and not only talk about what rights they have. Ya Allah, protect every marriage, for every ummati til the end of time. Help every spouse fulfil their duties towards their spouse and children. Help us understand what beauty is. How to cultivate the beauty of character in ourself, and our family. Help us correct our shortcomings. Aamen summa aamen.

Picture courtesy : the muslim show.

If your husband has female “friends”, you will have problems in your marriage. 

If your wife has male “friends” you will have problems in your life.

There is no need to socialize more than necessary with the opposite gender. It will lead to fitnah. No one is immune to fitnah, no matter how many masters or bachelors they have in their cv. That is one of the main reasons why mixing between genders is prohibited in Islam. 

If it can’t be avoided because of work, at least minimize it to the bear minimum, and be as proffesional as possible. Nothing breaks the heart of a spouse more than realizing that his / her spouse  is engaging with others in non-islamic ways. 

I can’t understand why there is any need to have friends from the other gender. These friendships ruin lives. Infatuation. Many wrongs happen when fitnah is not stopped. 

May Allah protect all marriages. And keep us pure, from having friendships with the opposite gender. And protect us from jeopardize our marriage for anything else. Aameen. 


Although both husbands and wife should learn to express their love so they both feel loved, there is also another quality that can strenghten their bond – being more understanding. 

Both spouses express and feel loved differently based on their gender differences. To help each other and themselves, spouses should programme their mind in understanding how a man expresses love/ how a woman expresses love. In this way, when their spouse expresses something, they can link it up to their emotion and decode their language to help themself understand, what their spouse is saying and what it means. 

Although it would be perfect if a spouse express love the way the other will understand it. It might be a bit overwhelming if we expect the other spouse to express love in a way which he/she might not be comfortable with or feel natural. It is possible to learn it. It would make your own life easier. 

When that is said, spouses must also learn how their spouse feel un-loved based on their gender. Because it is different between a man and a woman. To prevent us from expressing something than can be hurtful for the relationship and decrease love. 

Picture courtesy via Half our deen.

rose, quality muslimah, islam, conduct, knowledge, wisdom, practice Islam, understandI have met so many amazing muslimahs the last 9 years. Women who has so much to offer, yet their resourcefulness is not being utilized. Their lives would have been so much more meaningful, if their family had backed them more. Let me explain more.

The Help They Need

A wife`s first priority after marriage is her husband, and after some time their children. In most asian muslim families, where daughters are brought from back home to the west. It take many years to help them adapt to the society here. Some learn the language easily, while others might never ever be able to pass test to be able to work. Although it is the family`s responsibility that these women are helped through there first years here, many times they do not get the help they need.

First Of All Imagine.

You have a network of family and friends back home. When you come here, you not only have to adapt into a whole new family but also build your own new network. That is not always that easy. Especially for wives, when they often get busy with parenthood, before they are able to learn the language properly. They have to postpone their own dreams in order for the family. I might dare say, many women come back to school, years afterwards, where they tell how much they also wanted to utilize their life for something more meaningful than just stay home with children and the little network they have or might not have. They have dreams to also earn a living, using their resources to earn money and buy things without always thinking of their expenditures. A little more planning and help from the husband could have made their situation easier.

Being A Mother Is Very Giving

Every woman has dreams of her own. Apart from being a mother and a wife. Doing something meaningful that is important to here. Having a social life, friends, network, buying things she need, without always have to ask for permission, or to be able to have women only evenings with her friends. Husband doesn`t realize that if they would support their wife more in achieving her dreams and some sort of independence, she would become a much better wife for him and a better mother for her children. Often times when women get married, they give little precedence to their own needs. Their husband needs come first. Than their children’s needs. Then their in-laws preferences. After a list, at the end their own needs come, if they have any energy or time to spend for themselves. For a mother to give her children to her husband and have a friends dinner out, is if i might dare say, not the reality for many asian wives. Although the husband in the same family, has at least one day a week, he can enjoy with this friends. If not many more. Even though the parenthood is both parents responsebility, often the mothers take the most heaviest burdens. They have a such job, that they never get any time off. It`s a 24/7 on work for their family.

Education Going To Waste

When husbands stop their wifes from getting a job or an education or to work when they have a sound education. They should re-think what they are doing. If and when the parents of a muslimah doctor had thought the same. The wife of these husbands had to meet a male doctor at the hospital for a check up under her pregnancy. Thank god, that some parents encourage their daughters to get a decent education with good values so that they can contribute to the community. We have muslimah doctors, nurses, teachers, dentists, engineers and so on. It is not easy for them to go out of their home and work. Their best hijab is in their home. But yet we must not forget that if every muslimah had thought that, our own muslimah wives, would have had difficulty getting any good help, without meeting their own “tribe”, when they need some sort of help/assistance. We can`t stop these resources from contributing positively for the society, and be so selfish and only think about our own good. Of course that comes first, but we must also try to help others, whom might have more difficult life than ourselves.

Muslimah`s And Islam – The Sunnah Way

Under the time when the prophet Muhammad pbuh had to do hijrah to medina with Abu bakr Siddiq raa, they left makkah and passed by cave thawr. They stayed there for a few days to protect themselves from their enemies. The daughter of Abu Bakr siddiq raa, Asma Bint Abu Bakr, came to them with food-supplies, through difficult roads and facing many dangers. The muslimah sahabi`s have helped Islam not by being passively at home, but by being with the muslims in wars, also fighting the enemies and taking care of those wounded. So you see it is not Islam that oppresses women, it is the illiterate minds. Even knowledgable people can be illiterate for not being able to believe in what is right and haqq. If knowledge opened minds of everyone than the most knowledgable lecturers would have accepted Islam. Not everyone does. Even in the most intelligent people there are many who doesn`t accept what is right for what is right and what is truth for what is truth. I believe that if you as a mailman have managed to find your way to Allah and believe in him and try to enjoin good and forbid evil, you are more intelligent than the lecturer with a phd, that thinks that Islam is not haqq or right. I have learned to calculate people, from how faithful and obedient they are to Islam. Islam doesn`t oppress women. Mostly the wrong culture does. May Allah give all wives help to realize their dream in their life. And make all the muslimah`s resourceful for each other and helping each other prosper. And guide husband to be more supportive of their wife. The sunnah way. Aameen summa aameen.

muslim couple, rights and obligations, quran, love, rose, flower, marriageOften when some husband take good care of their wife, and fulfil their obligations towards her and their children, his friends and family might comment that he has become a robot, where his wife decides everything. I want to highlight a few thoughts about this and why people might say such things.

We all are striving.

Some people are doing a great job when it comes to following sunnah. Not only when their friends and acquaintances are with them, but also at the time when no one is with them accept their loved ones and Allah. Some men are not shy off being good to their wife. Why should they be? Prophet Muhammad pbuh has said, the best of man is the one who is good to his wife, and I am the best to my wives. He pbuh lived what he said. He was not shy off helping around the house and giving un-divided attention to his other half. He gave them importance and supported them. If men want to follow his sunnah, being a good husband is also part of his sunnah. Not only praying on time and giving zakat.

Muslims can not be shy of practicing some part of their deen

No matter what others say. Hazoor pak saw has said he is afraid of a time when the disbeliever will be proud of their disbelief and a true believer will be shy of practicing his belief. I`m sure even those who comment negatively towards other, have their moments of being an awesome husband, though they are afraid of admitting it, because they see it as a quality we should not find in a man. How can they think that following the sunnah is not a quality they should have in themselves. I remember a time when Hazoor Pak pbuh was not to shy to admit in front of all the sahaba`s that the one he pbuh loved the most was Aisha raa. If he pbuh was not afraid of showing his love in front of everyone, than neither should any muslim husband.

Have we ever thought why other people comment negatively?

1.Jealousy/envy. Why are they so happy?
2.Not knowing what being a man is about.
3.Arrogance. That work is below my worth/standard.
4.Hobby: Putting hurdles in lives of succesful people.
5.Wrong understanding of Islam. Our rights and obligations.
6.Bad company.
7.Bad role-models.

We do not boast about following the Sunnah

Or become proud of the fact that we are Sunnis. To what extent we follow the Sunnah, shows the intensity of our love for our Prophet pbuh. So sometimes people might try to hide their good deeds from people to the extent that they would not like anyone to find out. In case they maybe returned because the intention is changing. The Prophet pbuh his family and sahaba, went to a lot of struggles for us. We must find ways to keep our intentions in check, but shying away is not the solution. The society has come to such matters, that we need good role-models that are not shying away from showing the right path, they have found. How can we say that we love him pbuh the most and be afraid to show the world that we want to live like him pbuh and are striving to cultivate his pbuh qualities in us. May Allah make us proud of our heritage in Islam, and help us practice it to as close to his pbuh life as possible. And not being shy of good conduct, even if we have people in our circle who are against it. May Allah guide us to good, till we accept nothing but good. May Allah mould us into what He wants us to become. Let us reach excellence in those qualities Allah and Hazoor pak saw like. And take out of our heart, soul and body, those qualities Allah and Hazoor pak saw dislikes. Aameen.

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My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

:) W & R one 2 one :)

(",) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (",)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

Når du er forent med en
du elsker, er det ingenting
du ikke klarer :)

Gode ord skaper tillit.
Gode tanker skaper
Inderlighet. God
giverglede skaper
kjærlighet:)

Mood :)

Overjoyous :) I wonder which song is always on my mind (",)

(“,) Always on my mind (“,)

Be mine all the time,
never cross the line,
I`m a one man woman,
I don`t share
what`s mine,
never settle for less..

Song of the moment :)

:) If you just love me, i will let you see, how more you need? :)

:) Discover enlightenment
holding your hand.. :)