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Every hijabi girl or woman is struggling with this. How can I feel beautiful, at the same time, win the struggle of perfecting my hijab. Most men look for beauty in a woman. If both men and women were taught how and what beauty actually is, this struggle wouldn`t have been so damaging for the society/community.

Value Real Beauty In Others

Here in Norway, we see a great diversity of hijabi women and girls. Many of them has a zahiri correct hijab. And many also deviate from the whole concept, and fall into the faults of hijab that goes against it`s meaning. When women wear hijab, that attracts attention, they are not honouring it. Make-up, strong colors, camel-hump style, tight clothing, and see-through-fabric. All these matters, make them attractive to other men and boys. If we could teach our girls, what beauty is. And help them to value it in other people. We can help them in this fight. Their hijab is supposed to hide their beauty, not their beauty more prominent.

hijab-for-husband-beauty-for-dunya-or-oppositeHusbands: Re-assure Your Wife Often

Most women doesn`t know what beauty is. They work on their looks, every day. Looking beautiful is not the same as feeling beautiful. If they knew how beautiful good values, good conduct, good character, good manners, integrity is, they would try to increase their effort in cultivating these qualities in them and their children. That is what the sunnah of Hazoor Paak pbuh, has taught us. The right hijab for a woman or girl, wouldn`t have been such a big issue, if the men, those who will become a muslim husband, were also taught, what beauty actually is. The women, adores themselves for their husband. If men would appreciate their wife, when she beautified herself for him, she would probably put more effort in it. If the dear husband, helped their wife feel beautiful, she wouldn`t look for the reassurance other places. Like when she step out of her home. When wives in general doesn`t feel beautiful and aren`t certain about their beauty, they beautify themselves. That would attract attention, to confirm what they want to hear. That they are beautiful. If there husband doesn`t help them find this. They try to find it outside home.

She Always Finds Something Negative About Herself

A right size model, beautiful, can think that she is ugly. Not because she is comparing herself to others. But she is looking for perfection in what she is seeing on the outside. I want no pimples. No fat. Right color of hair. Always wearing make-up. If anyone saw her, they would be amazed by her outer appearance. But her friends knows. She has low self-esteem and confidence. No matter how beautiful she looks, she always find something negative in it. Negative self-talk. If she would instead cut time she spends on her outside for so many hours daily, and instead spend half an hour on building her self-esteem and self-confidence regularly. She would feel beautiful. She would have a positive attitude about herself. Easily forgive. No matter how much weight she will gain, she will think good of herself. She would know her strengths and weaknesses. She would have self-insight about herself, and become self-empovering. If parents helped young girls, and build them up from the inside, no matter how people talked about their appearance, they would be confident within themselves. When people understand how to feel beautiful, they work more on those matters, because it releases positive energy. It`s no more about, I want to look good anymore. It`s about I want to do good deeds, because that makes me feel good. Real beauty is not about those who heart eyes, with their beauty, it`s about those who melt hearts with their good and decent conduct. These people change hearts. They can make a difference.

wife-beautify-yourself-for-your-husband-muslim-showHusbands And Wives Duties And Rights

From the time a girl is young, she is looking forward to one day find a man and get married. Many girls and women want to wear hijab, but are afraid whether that will hinder them from finding a spouse, in their future. This is why it is important for the entire muslim community, in every country, to teach their boys and men, what beauty is. Help them understand the beauty of how good righteous women, can help them achieve great work for Islam, by supporting them in their way for Islam. Male find comfort in their wife, that rejuvenate them to get closer to Allah. Maybe that is why Allah said the best joy for a muslim man, is having a righteous wife. She will help him do good. Comfort him, and motivate him, to do more. In the journey of having a good relationship with her husband, every wife must understand, the necessary of the wife adoring herself for her husband. When she will put some effort in this for her marriage, it will make it easier for the husband, to lower his gaze and keep himself pure. Other women will make less fitnah for her husband, because he is being fulfilled with what he needs, from his wife. This sunnah, is often ignored by many wives. They don`t keep themselves clean in the house. Or beautify themselves only for their husband’s sake. This causes damage to their husbands, whom are really hungered when they step out every day. In the west, when men go outside for work, they can easily get attracted to other females, because of the fitnah of how they beautify themselves. Nowadays, even a muslimah without hijab and with hijab can be a fitnah for a muslim man. When the wifes hungers their husbands, and they meet these sights outside their home, I can understand, what kind of difficulty this must cause for their life. If both the wife and husband, dig in their goodwill towards each other, and starts to do the work they are needed to keep each other fulfilled, many troubles can be minimized or sorted out. And the couple and the family could enjoy a more blessed and barakah full life.

A Summarized List To Remember Always:

1. Help children boys and girls understand the beauty of good conduct, good deeds, helping hands for those less fortunate.
2. Parents build the self-esteem and confidence of their children, boys and girls.
3. Every wife, beautify yourself unconditionally for your husband only
4. Every husband, appreciate your wife unconditionally, shower on her love. When she feels beautiful, she would do more to look beautiful.
5. When every marriage is fulfilling the need of the husband and wife, they will be rejuvenated to do much more. This will help the wife fulfil her duty of hijab, and the husband to lower his gaze when he steps outside. Happy and good parents raise great children.

Protect Your Marriage = Protect Your Community

If we are able to raise children who know what beauty is, and confident about themselves, they will be a positive contributor for both muslim and non-muslim community in your country. There is a reason why some male, men and boys, stand on the corner of many places in most countries, even islamic countries. When every wife and husbands spends time on protecting their marriage, it also protect other marriages. Every man or woman, who has to step outside, and is not fulfilled from the home, will easier fall into fitnah. It doesn`t have to be a affair. It can be media, pictures, programmes etc. These people can cause trouble for other marriages. That is why every married ummati, must fulfil their duties upon their spouse, and not only talk about what rights they have. Ya Allah, protect every marriage, for every ummati til the end of time. Help every spouse fulfil their duties towards their spouse and children. Help us understand what beauty is. How to cultivate the beauty of character in ourself, and our family. Help us correct our shortcomings. Aamen summa aamen.

Picture courtesy : the muslim show.

israel, usa, world, president, war crimes cartoon gaza under attack israel carlos-latuffI get so amazed by some people when they say that they love a country/ethnicity etc. I know love is blinding, but most people do take this quite literally. For instance when your son is misbehaving in any way. You would, out of love as a parent, try to help him behave the right way. No parent would say, “Oh, I love my son so much, that I`ll let him do whatever he does, because I don`t want him to get hurt/sad”. That doesn`t make any sense. A parent when they see his son trying to catch “fire”, would stop him, so he wouldn`t get burned. Lets replace the little kid/son/brother with the name of Israel, and lets replace the name of parent/big brother with U.S. Now Israel is killing innocent civilians in Palestine, taking over their country. Some real mean stuff. The whole world knows their atrocities. Still father/big brother U.S. is backing him up. “Do whatever you want son. I`ll prevent you from falling or being jailed”, U.S. says. The whole world can see that and admit that most of what the Israelis are doing are wrong. Despite this, I know people whom praise Israel, like they can`t see their war-crimes.

Imagine Your Son Is Misbehaving At School

He is bugging some other kids. You wouldn`t, if you were a good decent parent, cheer him for doing this. I`m sure parents with good values, would stop their child from hurting others. Imagine, if you actually praised him for bullying some class-mates. What do you think would happen to your son? His confidence would increase, and he might do more and meaner stuff. Why? Because your backing him up. If you keep backing up your son, when he does something wrong, it will motivate him to keep on doing it and probably increase him in his wrongdoing. If you don`t want your child to eventually be criticized by the principal or get expelled, most parents, would try to use some incentives to help him stop from misbehaving at school. So you see when son Israel know that father/big brother U.S. has got his back no matter how much wrong he does to bullied Palestine, he won`t stop.

israel vs palestineThis Makes Me Angered And Sad

When other people whom supposedly love Israel, praise the state, despite the wrong decisions it has made, and how many war crimes it is involved in. How can you close your eyes to the fact that even if Israel can be doing 1% right, he is still doing 99% wrong. By cheering him up, just because you generally love Israel, because of it`s holy-ness, is wrong. Yes the land is holy, and muslims also believe that Judaism came before christianity and then Islam came after that. But we can`t stand here and say to someone who just because your message at that time was gods message, I agree with what you are doing now. That doesn`t make any sense. Besides. If you saw jews as your friends, you would tell him when his wrong. Even if that hurt him. You wouldn`t cheer on your friends when they make mistakes, big mistakes, like killing people. If you have the right values, you would make him go to the police and take the sentence the court judges. Because your friend killed another person. It`s not allowed. Just because your friend was born on holy land doesn`t make himself holy. Our Prophet pbuh said too his daughter Fatima raa, your lineage would not make you go to Paradise, so work on doing good deeds. That is the only way of going to Paradise. He said that to his own daughter. Ma sha Allah, that is Islam. Everyone has to pay for their own bad deeds, and will be rewarded individually for their good deeds. If they want to prosper, they will work on this. There is no shortcuts to success, each and every has to take the stairs, one step at a time. If you`re a friend of jews and Israel, a “real” friend, you would stop him from doing wrong. It`s that simple. And if the jews and the state Israel, doesn`t stop it`s war-crimes. It will have a bad end. Maybe in this world, but most certainly in the hereafter, when their crimes will be judged before Allah. They most certainly will have to pay for it. It`s not only about saving your butt in this world. The most important point is whether you are saving your or others butt in the next world, hereafter, when it really will matter. Because the outcome will decide your faith for eternity. May Allah open our eyes, before we become guilty in the same crime, because we didn`t put any effort in stopping it. Aameen.

every child is gifted, a success story, build people, family, parentingPeople doesn`t always understand when we talk about different emotions and how different approaches can have an impact on others. Unless we help them understand it with money. ūüėõ Yes we want someone to do something or not do something, simply add or delete the cash. If we think about ourselves as having a bank of emotions in our soul/heart. A positive word, will put a deposit in the account. A negative word or action might take a withdrawal from it. If we keep the positive deposit more than the negative we will be feeling good. If the negative account is more than the positive we will be feeling sad or some negative emotion.

 

People Can Be Good And People Can Be Bad

We all have something good and bad in us.  If we always pinpoint why our children aren`t cleaning their room or anything negative they are doing, every time we talk, they will be filled with negative energy. They might not want to spend time with us. If we instead, fill them with positive feedback that is precise and  positive, not being vague in speech, we will soon, fill them with so much positive energy that, if and when we sometimes give them some negative feedback, it won`t be the end of the world for them. Because a lot of positive deposit doesn`t mind if a withdrawal comes once in a while. If we already have a negative account, and withdrawal would be devastating.

 

every kid childDon`t Use Fear 

People have different incentives to help their loved ones achieve new heights. Some motivate others with love, others with fear. And what would work depends on the situation and the person. Expressing love has the power that will give a positive deposit in the loved ones bank-balance. If we genuinely care for others, we will rather inspire others in this way. A person whom gives and gives will certainly be given back. If we on the contrary would try to make people change because of fear. That might work for the moment. Some day that fear can be given back in a negative way by a withdrawal from your account. It can`t lead to good, if you always use fear as a method for people to behave a certain way. I pray that our family`s are of those who build us and not those who tear us down. That will make us easily manage the ups and downs in life. If the family always has a “told-you-so” waiting whenever we fail in something, it teaches us to not have confidence and trust our own judgement. Later when we, have to make our own decisions these qualities makes a big difference in our life. We need to nurture self-confidence, self-esteem, trusting own judgement, independence, self-respect, self-worth. We are more with our family`s than anyone else. They have a real great opportunity to help us grow as muslim and humans. Only selfish reasons would make us want to prevent each other from achieving success. Always hesitate to make a withdrawal without knowing if there is enough balance to withdraw from.

 

When Given A Good Portion Of Love

Each and every would be able to move mountains and become the person they are meant to be. We work best when we our stomachs/souls are full. When we help others feel good, we become better people. We feel good also because of being giving. Don`t be miserly in choosing a positive approach, and see how it changes every situation to something beautiful, and be ready because it will come back to you. Making others feel good about themselves is an art and on-going- charity that will have positive side-effects. Help each other to practice it. Jazak Allah kheyr.

positive parents, children, upbringingGood and bad health is in the hands of our Creator. There is also something we have in our hands to change the situation. Many people know the right of the parents and talk and praise those who treat them well. Though we need to talk more about how parents should treat their children also. Their childhood shape them for their adulthood. If we want them to be good contributors as adults, we nee to know how to mould them into what we want them to become. I have a few thoughts about this, I would like to share.

Children Above Their Age

Children need to learn the parents rights. The parents also should be aware of the children’s rights. If a childs` opinion is validated, and their parents make them feel like they can contribute to the conversation, even with their little intellect at the moment. They would be able to, see with amazement, that many times children say words that are above their age, and good for the conversation. It is the parents that build the childs` confidence in the beginning. Just like any spouse want un-divided attention, children also need a good dose of positive attention, love, care and nurture from their parents. If the parents are able to show this in a good way, they help build healthy people who are an asset for the community and the people they interact with.

parents recognize childrens abilites and efforts,Don`t Downplay Their Abilities

It is so easy to for a parent to say to a child, don`t be disrespectful. Though the parents must also realize that if you treat he/she with respect, and teach them how to behave in a good way, with encouragement, they will. If the only way to get any attention is when children does something wrong, of course, the child that need validation, would do anything for it. To bring out good qualities in our children, we must comment positively and take out time to listen to them and reason with them, to help them think good. Not only teaching them what to think, but how to think right. Don`t downplay their abilities. That is where they learn to downplay their own abilities, in their relations as adults. At the time a child is born, it is like a white sheet. Whatever it becomes and how it behaves depends on the values that are cultivated in him/her. The parents need to realize their responsibilities before it is too late. Encourage your children and see them blossom. Build confidence and self-esteem while keeping them humble and filled with humility and gratefulness. Knowing that good would not happen to them without the will and help of Allah and hard work. When they don`t win the game, appreciate their efforts, because they worked hard. We need to raise children that will be good for the community, muslims and non muslims, but most importantly, good for Islam. May Allah help all elders and children value and respect each other and fulfil their rights and obligations towards each other in a sunnah way and help them become resourceful for the community and to each other.

svane familieMany people often neglect children’s need to be seen and heard and valued for who they are, where their abilities are appreciated regardless of their siblings or friends achievements. A childs joy, when their parents listen attentively, and value all the siblings individually, when they are together as a family, is important. Often we wonder why some adults are so quiet and not into talking that much. When they grow up amongst many siblings, where some are very dominating, it is obvious that other doesn`t get that much chance to blossom or show their abilities. It could lead to they not cultivate their talents as much as their potential. People in general grow better in the right environment. Since everyone has different needs, we grow the best in different places. Seeing your child as the individual he/she is and value them for who they are, without comparison to other, is important.

 

Undiscovered Potential

Sitting at the dinner table with the family, and giving everyone chance to respond and talk to the family, is must, no matter how old they are, because their opinions need to be valued, to make them feel that they also have¬†important opinions. Who hasn`t heard a toddler or a young child say something that is beyond his/her age. By excluding some children from the conversations, we can damage their self-esteem, and prevent them from believing in themselves. The saying “ghar ki murghi daal barabar”, is quite funny and accurate to prove the point. People outside of the family, sees so much potential in a child, while within the family, he/she can be neglected.

 

Values Are More Important Than Education

Our parents might have had this way of raising us. If we havent learned from their mistakes, we have not learned anything worthwhile. What can be more important than moulding our next generation into beautiful/giving people with good values who has the confidence to stand for what they believe in. I`m sure if we ask our friends all of them has something to point out about how they got raised by their parents. Good solid education won`t do any good for anyone, if the conduct, character, morals, manners, self-esteem etc are not cultivated and sound.

 

When You Are On Right, You Will Be Rewarded

Teaching children that nothing comes in this world without hard work. There is no elevator to success, everyone has to take the stairs, one step at a time, as long as you work hard and abide by the rules, you are a winner, no matter the outcome. Even if others doesn`t value your efforts know that Allah sees your struggles and will reward you, in this life and next. A good environment starts at home and as the child grows older other places like kindergarten, school, college, work and friends will have an impact on them. If we don`t cheer our children for their achievements, no matter how small, they will find someone who does. And that someone isn`t necessarily a good influence on them. For them to have a solid confidence to say no to bad things, they must have a good dose of self-esteem and confidence, that is taught from their early years. When children realize that Allah will reward, they will turn to Him, instead of other people for validation. Help them see the beauty in their conduct and character not their appearance. Having a rich character, makes one feel good. The only way to feel good is to know that you are doing something right, and having trust that you will be rewarded for it by Allah.

 

 

happy feetSee, Hear And Value Your Children

Treat them as individuals. Cheering them for having good conduct, character, and filling their bucket of esteem and confidence, and cultivating good values in them, will help them in all their struggles in life. Helping them believe in themselves will make it easier for them to cope with challenges. There is no bigger favour a parent can do for his/her child. Being fair so that no one is excluded and everyone gets a fair chance to speak, is important. It proclaims a message of equality. We need to be fair when some of the children are more dominating. When we teach children to listen to each other, they will of course do that. Growing up in an environment where we can`t express our views without fear of being ridiculed by other siblings, is damaging. The parents can make rules for a healthy conversation/discussion at home and make sure that they are also followed. Since the parents are the shepherds of the family, they need to make sure that their children are under good care and that their individual needs are filled and they are given space where they grow best. They will be questioned about their care, from Allah.

beauty2We have been taught in a young age through media and magazines that if we are not in a certain color size or shape, no one will like us. If we want to be anything we have to have good looks, regardless of our intelligence. I think it has rather become even worse nowadays, when children at a very young age are so obsessed about their looks and clothing. The media promotes that if you don`t have the right looks, you won`t succeed at all.

Good people are always beautiful
It is not the physical appearance of a person that tells us whether a person is good or not. It is the character. If you meet someone with good looks but cruel of nature, would you like that person? On the other hand, if you meet someone whom is of average looks, but is so easy to talk with and makes you feel comfortable, would you have liked that person? I guess, looks matters only for the first impression, but it doesn`t tell you the truth. Beautiful people aren`t always nice, but nice people regardless of their looks, are always beautiful. Their character shines through their good behaviour.

There is so much more to friendship
When we put a standard of whom we are going to interact with based on the looks of people, we can easily come into a circle of friends that may look great beside you, but are they good, trustable, supportive friends? We cannot make that judgement on those criteria. It is so much more to friendship than that.

Status higher than angels
Why do girls wear make-up? When they feel good about themselves, are happy or because they think they aren`t good enough, compared to others? When do we use perfume? When we are fresh or when we want to hide a foul smell? If we feel good about ourselves regardless of our looks, we will spread good thoughts into the community. If we always feel inadequate because the media or our surrounding tells us that we aren`t good according to their standards, that could break us down, and make us feel quite low. The only way to feel good about oneself, is to develop self-esteem that tells us that we are irreplaceable, one of a kind, a creation of Allah that can achieve a higher status than angels.

What makes you feel beautiful?
We usually feel good when we do good deeds, and bad when we do bad deeds. If we keep giving ourselves positive self-talk about the good that we do, we would increase our feeling of self-esteem. When people feel good about themselves, they don`t need validation from outside. So they don`t need to dress to impress, but they`ll rather dress in a modest way, because they will feel beautiful from the inside. It`s something else to look beautiful and something else to feel beautiful. When we are good and spread goodness, we feel good about ourselves. Not necessarily because we get a good feedback from our surroundings, but because we have realized that if we do what Allah wants us to do, He will be satisfied with us, and there is no better achievement than that. If we do something that angers Allah, His wrath may descend on us and that will make us feel bad and anxious.

love prophet muhammad pbuh

Our teachers are a inspiration
Everyone one of us has a talent in us. It is up to us, our teachers/leaders to cultivate it, and inspire us and motivate us to let it grow and utilize it for our own benefit and for the benefit of the society. We need to teach the children that beauty is not mere looks, but good character. If we help our children/youth increase their self-esteem and sence of self-worth, they won`t let the media control them, because they`ll know that they are one of a kind. When we know our worth we won`t degrade ourselves to let everyone see us, but rather hide our beauty for the one that truly deserves us. If we teach them the value of decent character, they will try to cultivate it. The best example is by our actions. If we lead with good conduct, also the children will feel inspired to the same path. The best feeling is achieved by sincerely doing good deeds and being helpful with what we have capacity to manage. May Allah help us understand what beauty actually is, and make our character a reflection of Prophet Muhammad pbuh`s way of living. Ameen summa ameen.

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My Prayer..

‚ÄúO Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.‚ÄĚ Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

Poetry

(“,) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (“,)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

Når du er forent med en
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du ikke klarer :)

Gode ord skaper tillit.
Gode tanker skaper
Inderlighet. God
giverglede skaper
kjærlighet:)

Mood :)

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