You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Negativity’ tag.

every child is gifted, a success story, build people, family, parentingPeople doesn`t always understand when we talk about different emotions and how different approaches can have an impact on others. Unless we help them understand it with money. 😛 Yes we want someone to do something or not do something, simply add or delete the cash. If we think about ourselves as having a bank of emotions in our soul/heart. A positive word, will put a deposit in the account. A negative word or action might take a withdrawal from it. If we keep the positive deposit more than the negative we will be feeling good. If the negative account is more than the positive we will be feeling sad or some negative emotion.

 

People Can Be Good And People Can Be Bad

We all have something good and bad in us.  If we always pinpoint why our children aren`t cleaning their room or anything negative they are doing, every time we talk, they will be filled with negative energy. They might not want to spend time with us. If we instead, fill them with positive feedback that is precise and  positive, not being vague in speech, we will soon, fill them with so much positive energy that, if and when we sometimes give them some negative feedback, it won`t be the end of the world for them. Because a lot of positive deposit doesn`t mind if a withdrawal comes once in a while. If we already have a negative account, and withdrawal would be devastating.

 

every kid childDon`t Use Fear 

People have different incentives to help their loved ones achieve new heights. Some motivate others with love, others with fear. And what would work depends on the situation and the person. Expressing love has the power that will give a positive deposit in the loved ones bank-balance. If we genuinely care for others, we will rather inspire others in this way. A person whom gives and gives will certainly be given back. If we on the contrary would try to make people change because of fear. That might work for the moment. Some day that fear can be given back in a negative way by a withdrawal from your account. It can`t lead to good, if you always use fear as a method for people to behave a certain way. I pray that our family`s are of those who build us and not those who tear us down. That will make us easily manage the ups and downs in life. If the family always has a “told-you-so” waiting whenever we fail in something, it teaches us to not have confidence and trust our own judgement. Later when we, have to make our own decisions these qualities makes a big difference in our life. We need to nurture self-confidence, self-esteem, trusting own judgement, independence, self-respect, self-worth. We are more with our family`s than anyone else. They have a real great opportunity to help us grow as muslim and humans. Only selfish reasons would make us want to prevent each other from achieving success. Always hesitate to make a withdrawal without knowing if there is enough balance to withdraw from.

 

When Given A Good Portion Of Love

Each and every would be able to move mountains and become the person they are meant to be. We work best when we our stomachs/souls are full. When we help others feel good, we become better people. We feel good also because of being giving. Don`t be miserly in choosing a positive approach, and see how it changes every situation to something beautiful, and be ready because it will come back to you. Making others feel good about themselves is an art and on-going- charity that will have positive side-effects. Help each other to practice it. Jazak Allah kheyr.

 

life, thinker, mirror, bonde, dronning, queenTo be able to live a happy life, it is very important for every person to have a good amount of self-esteem within themselves. You have to work with yourself to have a positive balance within you. Whether your male or female. We cannot rely on the sources outside. Others can`t or won`t always cheer us up. We need to nurture our confidence so that it can grow. Of course it gives you a boost that other people think positive thoughts about you. But it won`t last if we don`t feel the same way about ourself. Another point is that people whom have low self-esteem don`t always validate or believe other people`s praise about them. They`re simply to low to feel that there is any good in them.

 

Make a list of achievements on a daily basis

The best way to deal with low self-esteem is to keep a diary of your achievements with you through the whole day. Here you can write three things you have achieved per day, and your mood, by the side of it. For example, today I managed to get an A on the x exam. It made me feel intelligent and I know i earned it because of my hard work the weeks before it. Mood : Smart/Happy/Intelligent/Diligent, etc. By doing this you will slowly start to rebuild confidence.

 

To much ain`t good either

Just like it isn`t good to have low self-esteem, it isn`t seen as a good thing to be over-confident either. We need to be balanced and be in touch with reality.  I know I have done this before, but that doesn`t mean that I will be able to do this. No one likes bragging over-confident people. What attracts others is humility and people whom have their feet planted on the ground. By knowing your potential and the fact that we can all err at sometime, you will be in touch with the real you. We must not blind our vision by always thinking positive, but we must also know the reality, and whether a goal is achievable or not.

 

There is always room for improvement

If you have low self-esteem it is important that you keep writing three positive achievements a day, for about three to five months. After that you can try to come with suggestions on how you can improve yourself. Like for instance, one suggestion a day about how you can improve a certain conduct in yourself. It is very important that you don`t start with this before you have build your self-esteem to a certain extent that you don`t end up with a negative balance. It`s about being positive but at the same time having the insight that there are certain  things I can do better. There is always room for improvement. No one is perfect. Knowing this and keeping it in mind, whenever we fail, would help us to dust of the negativity and at the same time we give ourself chances to improve, with suggestions like, next time I`ll meet that situation like this or that.

 

You can`t stop setbacks, only how you deal with them

The most important thing is that we will have setbacks and things that happen in our lives that can be totally negative a day/week/month. The best thing is that on these rainy days you take out your diary and read the achievements you have been writing for some time. That would boost you enough to bounce back into a positive mood. You will realize that even though I messed up today/this week/this month, I have done a lot of good things that weigh more than these “incidents”. You will find inner strength and feel less dependent on your surrounding, spouse, family to cheer you up.

 

Low self-esteem in spouse

When one of the spouses in a relationship has low self-esteem, believe me, the couple will go through some tough times, until they work on themselves. It can be very difficult to be positive and have a wonderful relationship, if one or both of the spouses is always negative. To turn this around, both should keep a diary of their achievements. If you know your spouse is dealing with this, do not critisize him/her.  Especially not in front of others, be it children, parents or siblings. Also don`t think that this is not a male-issue. This can happen to both genders. What is important is that both are mature enough to see where they lack and being willing to work on it. Sometimes it is hard to be true to your spouse, because you know he/she can be hurt about it. So instead of saying, you do this or that, say lets do this together, both of us. Realization is important, and willing to make a difference. Another thing is that even if you have a positive balance today, doesn`t mean it will always be like that. Negative things can happen at any time. We can never be safe from that. But if we ourselves are strong, we will handle them better in a way that we bounce back to our positive attitude if we have worked on it.

 

You can never be too late for this

The right time is now. You can never be too late/too old/too young. Even if you are in your teens, student, married, single, parent. Know that when you have worked on this for some time you will feel a positive change in how you think, and be able to handle the ups and the downs in your life. Keep a positive track for about 3-5 months and after that start with one thing you can improve about yourself daily. Don`t start with the improvement list to early, before you have a positive account. How much time you need can be individual. You know when your ready for it. The best way to find inner strength is to be your own best friend. Only than you are able to have healthy relationship, be it family, spouse or friends. Your self-esteem will remain and increase regardless of your surrounding. You will become more positive and believe in your own abilities. You will come to know yourself, your strenghts/weaknesses. You will become a better version of yourself. What can be better than that? Try it for a month, and see how it changes your life for the better.

Check out and click on site www . Purify Your Gaze . com

https://purifyyourgaze.com/

My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

Poetry

(“,) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (“,)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

Når du er forent med en
du elsker, er det ingenting
du ikke klarer :)

Gode ord skaper tillit.
Gode tanker skaper
Inderlighet. God
giverglede skaper
kjærlighet:)

Mood :)

Content.