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Often in life we come to a road that leads to two different places. We don`t know which one to choose. The decision is tough and we are not always familiar with all the pros and cons. That is when we seek advice from people whom has more wisdom and knowledge than us. Someone whom has travelled such a distance, can know about the dangers and the traps of the journey. Likewise when a child becomes an adult and is mature enough to take the responsibility of marriage. They will most often ask their parents for help in choosing a spouse. They have, after all, more experience and wisdom than their children. If the parents are going to find a spouse, it is crucial that they know their daughter`s /son `s wishes and goals. After all they are the one’s life it is about, not their parents wants and preferences.
Level Of Imaan
When the family are informed about a potential spouse, they spend time to find out more about that person through a third-party, the advisors. An important aspect of seeking advice is to know the advisors personally, whether they have the same values as yourself. The advice you receive will depend on the advisors being a practising muslim or a non-practicing muslim. Whatever suits your child. The important point here is to find someone who’s level of imaan is compatible to your childs.
An Eligible Advisor
Parents, when you ask someone for advice about a potential spouse for your child, remember to ask someone whom is known to be just/fair. A just person would only say the truth. A friend would only praise the person. An enemy would only tell negative things. A just person will tell the positive and negative he/she knows, without adding extra spice/sugar to the information. There is no person without some negative qualities. The main thing is that the two individuals add up to each others qualities.
Their Answers Depend On Their Benefit
Your criteria for liking/disliking someone can be different from others. People often look for their own benefit in the matter before they give any advice. These kinds of people are mostly not truthful because they base their answers on their on benefit of the situation and it could change.
Be Just
Advisors beware: today someone is asking you about another muslims daughter. You will be asked from Allah about how you answer. Be just. Today it is someone else`s family, tomorrow it could be someone in your own family. People whom misguide others on purpose, will have a tremendous sanction for it from Allah. May Allah protect the Ummah from seeking advice from people whom aren`t eligible for giving it and help us not accept advice from people whom are not truthful. Aameen.
People say that those whom doesn`t have friends is the most poor person that he/she can be. That is true but an even poorer person is the one whom is surrounded by friends who direct her/him to bad deeds. In my opinion it is better to be without any friend than being with the wrong friends that can misguide you.
Mostly young people are often naive and think that if some people want to get to know them, they`ll be the best buddies to them. Yet often, a lot of people make friends because they want something out of the other person. It could be info, it could be a want to hurt them, or it could be something else. We can try to be careful with whom we befriend. Especially on the internet. Even though you “know” the other person, you don`t know their intentions. Don`t be in a hurry to open up about everything that is happening in your life. A good way of telling if they are your true friends, if possible, is to test them to see how reliable they actually are. The worst thing anyone can experience is that someone you thought to be your best friend is actually your enemy. It doesn`t take too long before some people quarrel about something. If they aren`t that mature, they can easily hurt you by sharing your personal information with others to humiliate or ridicule you. Once something bad is shared on social media, everyone knows within hours. It is very hard to undo that. One test to check if someone is true to you, is how they behave when they are angry at you. If they are loyal to you then, they can be a friend to keep. An hadith from muslim says that Prophet Muhammad pbuh says we should not be to kind to our friends and to mean to our enemies, because our enemies can become our friends and our friends can become our enemies.
Although one thing is for sure, if you are on the deen and trying to practice Islam, you are not friendless. Those that love each other for the sake of Allah are those that will be joined under the Throne of Allah on the Day of Judgement. Love for Allah is selfless. You guide and help others not to gain something, but rather for the sake of Allah. If they stop you from doing something bad, it is because they don`t want you to end up in hell. And when they guide you to something good, it is because they want you to join them in Paradise. If and when you have people who love you like this, you will never feel alone or abandoned. No matter where on earth you live, you will feel like you’re a part of a brotherhood/sisterhood that wants you to succeed, not only in dunya but though especially in the akhirah. These friends are priceless. No amount of money, gold or silver can replace them. They are pure and sincere. You can`t find a better friend. Someone whom cares about where you are going to spend your eternity and guides you to achieve it, really cares about you. The hereafter is forever. Wouldn`t you want your home in a place that is forever to be pleasant for you? If you care about you soul, you will. We all know the life on this earth. The difficulties, depressions, misery. Therefore someone whom wants you to live in eternal bliss, can`t be evil. I have yet not found any better friends that those whom guide me to do good and stops me from doing evil. May Allah join us with those we love for the sake of Allah on Judgement Day and in Firdous, and may Allah raise our ranks as much as his rahma is endless. Ameen summa ameen.
We often hear talk about people and forgiveness, but seldom hear people talk about forgiving themselves. We all need that. I can talk about each and every that has done something in their life that they later on did regret. It is important that we are able to also forgive ourselves for the faults we have done in the past. And don`t go on being depressed about that.
Each and every has one time or the other been regretful of something in their life. It is important that we are able to set our mind to understand that if it wouldn`t have been for all the ups and downs we have experienced throughout our life we would maybe not have been where we are right now. If you love where you are today, be thankful for everything that has happened in your life until today. Every bad experience give us wisdom in how we are to behave in the future. It shapes us in these beings we are and have become. So be grateful for that.
Every decision we make directs us to our destiny. If it`s meant to happen no one in this world can stop it. If it`s meant for someone else no one can keep it for you. Simply do your best and trust Allah and everything will happen for the best in sha Allah.
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