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We know that many muslim families in the west, help their children start wearing hijab from primary school. Many non-muslim disagree about this practice. Even politicians have spoken against it, and want the authorities to ban hijab from school. Hijab is fardh, obligatory, from puberty, in Islam. The years before puberty it is optional for the child if she prefers to wear it. Often parents want the child to start with hijab early, because parents want their child to use hijab from their early teens. If they get used to the idea, it will become an easy choice for them to choose it also for their early adulthood. The problem arises because non-muslims think that children are forced to wear hijab. So they are thinking about banning it so no child is forced to wear it. The parents here are helping children wear covering clothing that increases the dignity and honour of girls. That can prevent them from becoming easy victims of sexual abusers.

Teens Who Hide Their Age

How do they dress in the west? Children are influenced to wear clothing like adults. The media, commercials, socializing with friends, celebrities sites. A whole industry of buying what is “popular” right now. The pressure is immense. Many children wear revealing clothing that adults wear, that while their real age is 10, they look like they are adults. In other words, 15-20 years ago, it was easy to see the real age of children from what clothing they wear and their behaviour. Now that is impossible. The influence of youtube and media, how a child behaves and what she chooses to wear, often robs them from their childhood. The children’s mind and thoughts mature faster than their age. When children, girls, behave and think and wear clothing that is above their age, they will easily attract the opposite gender who are more mature and elder than them. When they go places no-one knows their real age, they can easily fake being 18 etc. We know the issue about under aged children, fake ID and trying to get in contact with elder people, just to experience the thrill of having done something brave, and a good story when they meet their ordinary friends. We have heard real incidents in Norway and in uk about underaged girls having sexual relations with men in their twenties. There is a possibility that these girls have hid their real age. We can`t be assured that it is only the mens fault. It is of great trouble for the community when children look like adults, because of what they wear and how they behave. It is very important for a child to have friends that are on their own age and not above their age. When they first grow up, they can`t be a child again. But if they grow up too early, and we could prevent it, we robbed their childhood from them. That is really sad. If we are to decide that a muslim child can`t cover themselves completely, I think it is also about time we decide that non-muslims are not allowed to wear certain revealing clothing at the primary school. If we Morally evaluate the effect of half-naked children at school, compared to all-covered children at school, the effect of lesser clothing, is worse than the effect of those who choose to cover themselves completely.

How A Rapist Choose His Victim

When we read about those who have raped, some people have done a study of these people. As to why they rape, and who they choose. In these studies, they have come to the conclusion that if the rapist saw two women coming to the area he wants to attack, and one of them are dressed half-naked and the other is wearing covering clothing, he will choose the woman with less clothing. In other words, the rapist won`t choose a woman who is covered. Even though we agree that raping is not allowed. And those who rape are not allowed to rape, even if the whole town doesn`t wear clothing. Even if it is not the victims fault that she is being raped. To protect her from being raped, every caring mother would tried to convince her daughter to not wear these clothing outside the house, where she is in danger of being a victim of abuse. Where she can come across other rapists. We have to help our children make good choices so we can save them from these dangerous people. No-one sends their children to dangers. We love our children more than we love ourselves.

How Can Our Sons Focus Easier And Learn More At School

When there comes to understanding relationships and why and how men or women behave, we all agree that they are different. Different in how they understand love, how they understand respect, different in what qualities are important for them in their relationship. Men are turned on differently then women. Men are visual. The more of beauty that can be seen of a woman the more the man will have difficulties to not look. In the book “What you need to know about inner life of men” by Shaunti Feldhahn, she explains how men think and why. This is how Allah made men. This is the test of men. If women are more aware of their clothing when they step outside their home, and hide their beauty with hijab, many men would have easier days outside their homes. If men lose focus of what they are doing when they see a beautiful woman, I`m positive so does a boy lose focus of what they are doing when they see a beautiful girl at school. As a mother of boys, how well do you think your sons focus is in school, if a girl, a class-mate of his is wearing half-naked clothing every day of summer?

I Worry More About My Daughters

Often people worry about mothers of daughters, because they think that they have a more difficult job raising their children than those mothers of sons. I don`t think the one is easier or more difficult than the other. Both jobs, raising a son or a daughter is challenging. It is important to teach both genders to behave modestly and good. Sons must be taught to respect women regardless of how they behave. Women must be taught to respect themselves and behave with dignity and honour and protect their beauty. If we allow children to go around half-naked at school and ban those people who choose to cover themselves completely, we are shooting ourselves, by making it more troublesome for the children to focus in their learning, and may not be able to protect them from illicit relations / problems were the moral standards are low. If the authorities could balance their decision, it would be more helpful. Do not allow children to wear half-naked clothing of sexual art at school. Those children who choose to cover themselves should be allowed. If we think from what the child says, that she is being forced to wear a hijab, than take action. If we find out that children are wearing hijab with free will, it should be allowed. There should be some sort of balance. Non-muslims do not understand the detrimentalness of socializing between boys and girls who have no sence of modesty, dignity and honour. The police in Norway often update their social media platform, with info about crimes in Norway. Lately they have said that there is an increase of sexual offences. Many experts in the field assume there are much higher number of sexual assaults than what is reported to them. This often comes from filth in the media, nudity, weird programs on internet and tv, internet and socializing with the wrong people and alcohol and drugs. No boundaries is equal to chaos. If we look at the behaviour of places in Norway there is more muslim youth and places where there are less muslim youth, experts say in places with many muslims, the youth smoke less and drink less alcohol. And places where there are less muslim youth, the youth drink more alcohol. It is said that if the parents drink alcohol, it is likely that their children will adopt the drinking habits of their parents. If we look at the education of muslims and foreigners, they are on top when it comes to taking higher education. Especially the girls. The boys are behind. Maybe the reason why boys are behind when it comes to higher studies is the fitnah, tribulations they experience. So we see that the muslim community has also increased the communities with goodness. It is not all negative. But negative information gets more coverage in media. They blow up information. People who don`t know or check the real facts, start believing the mis-information of many journalists. Ya Allah, please help us to protect every ummati from negative influence and grant every ummati all good righteous company everyday, all day. Help us to protect our communities for our families and for the families that will live here in the future. Aamen

When we say or do something hurtful to our spouse, it creates a distance between you two. 
For example
Lying – 5 meters
Harshness – 7 meters
Unloyalty – 10 meters
Unfaithfulness – 100 meters
When we are good to our spouse and do deeds and actions that makes your spouse feel “respected”, “loved” etc, it increases the intensity of the closeness you two share. 
For example
Kiss on the forehead – 5 meters closer
Flowers – 15 meters closer
Warm dinner – 100 meters closer
Undivided attention – 20 meters closer
When we sum up these two meters which bring closer and that which makes distance, if the sum is negative, we have been making more distance from misbehaviour. If the sum is positive, we have done more good behaviour. 
Just like that, we sum up every day, every week every month and year. If both in the marriage continously work on themselves and their relationship, most of the time, they will have a close fulfilling relationship. When both do deeds that bring each other closer, no matter the setbacks, you will overcome it. Because you two have made a good solid foundation. There is never to late to do something special together that wipes out many of the previous mistakes. Make effort to learn your spouse’s “love-languages”, “respect-languages” and “forgiveness-languages”. Just by knowing it, it is 50% done. Now all you two need to do is, speak these languages in deeds. 
Ya Allah, grant every ummati a good marriage. Aamen. Protect every marriage til the end of time. Aamen. 

light candle for peaceIt is quite interesting what the muslims has become. Whole her 20 years our daughter hasn’t prayed, worn hijab, or had the character of a good muslimah. But on her wedding (21 years old), we are holding a Quran over her head, as she leaves the wedding hall with 2000 people, when she is heading towards expensive car, with her non-hijabi wedding-dress. Somehow parents think that this will save her life she is starting with her husband.  Even though the parents didn’t spend time in teaching her good values, manners, sunnah and knowledge of Islam. Parents maybe think that keeping the Quran over her head would, in a magically way, make everything perfect. Most asian live their life, totally progressive of their religion. We backbite, we lie, we quarrel, we disrespect, we don’t pray, we listen and watch totally un-islamic media, we stab our friends for our personal benefit. In fact, most of us, live over 70% of our lives in a way that is totally un-islamic.

We remember Islam When

When someone disrespect our Prophet pbuh. Oh our eyes becomes read with anger and we will kill and destroy anything that comes in our way when we find out. Although the, car or people on the road nearby didn’t have anything with one person disrespecting our Prophet pbuh, we think that killing and destroying anything when we get angry because of our love for the Prophet pbuh, is justified. After all were saving his honour pbuh.

Anger Or Not Anger That Is The Question

Were not actually living life according to his pbuh sunnah or Quran, but still when someone says anything bad about our Prophet pbuh we get angry. Aren’t we being just as disrespecting of our prophet when we don’t cultivates his values, conduct, character in our lives and our families lives? When we ourselves are making fun of him by saying we are his followers but not following his pbuh way. There was a sahabi raa that wanted the prophet pbud to advice him, so he asked: “Advice me”. Prophet Muhammad pbuh said :” don’t get angry”. The sahabi asked again, because he was expecting another message. The Prophet pbuh said to him three times :”don’t get angry”.

The Sunnah Of Taif

Here is our situation. We are killing a person that disrespected our Prophet pbuh. When the sunnah of our Prophet, when he walked back from Taif, when he was brutally wounded, and blood on his clothes, he prayed for the people of Taif. And alhamdolillah a few years generations later, the muslims in Taif increased.
We don’t behave or talk or deal with others in a muslim way. Because of our un-islamic behaviour, people think that if this is what Islam is, than they are not good people. Since we are so poor ambassador of the religion we love, people talk bad about our religion. But they don’t understand. The religion is in fact great, but we don’t live our life as beautiful as a good muslim. When we make mistakes and people know we claim we are muslims, they interpret, this behaviour is Islam. But they are wrong. The sunnah of our Prophet and the Quran, is Islam. How we manage or don’t manage to implement it in our life, is our attempt to be a muslim. Our actions tells us if we are true in our claim.

An Easily Approachable Leader – Even for Poor People

When people once in a while came to talk with Prophet Muhammad pbuh, they didn’t know the etiquette of how to behave towards him with respect. Some times when people were very rude while addressing the Prophet pbuh when he pbuh was with his companions, because of the companions love for our Prophet pbuh, they easily took out their sword, and was thinking of killing this person. The Prophet pbuh because of his perfect wisdom, calmed them down and addressed the person in the most nice way. He pbuh didn’t say : he disrespected me, cut his throat”. He had such a good dealings with people. It is because of his good manners and dealings he managed to change hearts. Not by killing anyone or everyone who disagreed with him or didn’t give him the esteem he has. It is only through good behaviour we can change bad behaviour. Hate will not decrease hate. Only love can do that. When we start living our 70% of lives practising his deen we will be able to change other people’s bad opinion of our Islam and our Prophet pbuh. If we are not going to follow his ways, than we should be careful of claiming that we are muslims. Because our wrong behaviour is disrespecting and dishonouring him pbuh. And most people hate Islam, because it is true that we are more progressive than practising of the beauties of it. May Allah guide us of becoming good practising muslims. And understand that killing one person that disagrees with us today, will make ten more people on that persons side tomorrow. Instead use good aadab, sunnah, reasoning a try to change their thinking. Killing them won’t change the fact that they think wrong of us. And keep in mind that german person that used a lot of his life talking bad about Islam and even disrespecting our prophet pbuh. A few years later he converted to Islam, because he found beauty in it. After converting he was so guilty of his disrespect of our Prophet pbuh, he went on Umrah in the Masjid Nabvi and asked for forgiveness. Allah managed to turn his heart towards the truth. From that example we can learn if we stop killing people who hate us, and instead try to reason with them and show them through our behaviour why we are muslims. Not only by lip-service. May Allah make it easy for us. Aameen.

Today One Person Disagrees With Us

We kill him. Tomorrow, ten more people says the same as him. We kill them ten, the day after that, a hundred people say the same as he does. We don`t get more followers of our deen by killing everyone who disagrees with us? We can rather try to change people`s opinions by reasoning with them. Show them why Islam is beautiful. If we do the exact opposite of Islam, and somehow expect that people will love it, we do not have much hikmah to know that were breaking a bridge. Prophet Muhammad didn`t get more followers by killing others. He changed their hearts and reasoned with them, and that reasoning was backed up by his good behaviour, character, conduct. In public and in private. If we follow his pbuh way, we will also one day manage to change hearts and be the reason why people come back to Islam. May Allah make it easy for us. Aameen.

positive parents, children, upbringingGood and bad health is in the hands of our Creator. There is also something we have in our hands to change the situation. Many people know the right of the parents and talk and praise those who treat them well. Though we need to talk more about how parents should treat their children also. Their childhood shape them for their adulthood. If we want them to be good contributors as adults, we nee to know how to mould them into what we want them to become. I have a few thoughts about this, I would like to share.

Children Above Their Age

Children need to learn the parents rights. The parents also should be aware of the children’s rights. If a childs` opinion is validated, and their parents make them feel like they can contribute to the conversation, even with their little intellect at the moment. They would be able to, see with amazement, that many times children say words that are above their age, and good for the conversation. It is the parents that build the childs` confidence in the beginning. Just like any spouse want un-divided attention, children also need a good dose of positive attention, love, care and nurture from their parents. If the parents are able to show this in a good way, they help build healthy people who are an asset for the community and the people they interact with.

parents recognize childrens abilites and efforts,Don`t Downplay Their Abilities

It is so easy to for a parent to say to a child, don`t be disrespectful. Though the parents must also realize that if you treat he/she with respect, and teach them how to behave in a good way, with encouragement, they will. If the only way to get any attention is when children does something wrong, of course, the child that need validation, would do anything for it. To bring out good qualities in our children, we must comment positively and take out time to listen to them and reason with them, to help them think good. Not only teaching them what to think, but how to think right. Don`t downplay their abilities. That is where they learn to downplay their own abilities, in their relations as adults. At the time a child is born, it is like a white sheet. Whatever it becomes and how it behaves depends on the values that are cultivated in him/her. The parents need to realize their responsibilities before it is too late. Encourage your children and see them blossom. Build confidence and self-esteem while keeping them humble and filled with humility and gratefulness. Knowing that good would not happen to them without the will and help of Allah and hard work. When they don`t win the game, appreciate their efforts, because they worked hard. We need to raise children that will be good for the community, muslims and non muslims, but most importantly, good for Islam. May Allah help all elders and children value and respect each other and fulfil their rights and obligations towards each other in a sunnah way and help them become resourceful for the community and to each other.

couple, marriage, holding husbandHave you ever received an invitation to a fiest and not been able to decide wether you should attend or not? Islamicly when we receive an invitation we are obliged to accept it, to maintain good ties of kinship with friends and family. It is seen as a sin to break ties with kin. I have a few thoughts about whether one should accept an invitation or not. If we are invited to a party where you know there will be music and free mixing while some are not wearing islamic dresses, if you are a practicing muslim, you would think twice before you attend such a fiest. If these things are important to you and they are not important to those who invited you, maybe you would feel uncomfortable and not easily fit in.

Attending Or Not Attending, That Is The Question

If we turn the situation around and a muslimah is having a party and you know it is going to be islamicly correct and not music or free mixing, if you are such a person that likes the opposite, you might not attend the gathering. Your excuse? It doesn`t match to what you think is fun for you. It is not seen as something good when we turn down an invitation. Though if attending that fiest goes against your soul and your heart. Those hours you spend there would most probably be like a punishment. When we turn down an invitation with these kind of excuses we are seen as extreme? Or people might think that we have so high thoughts about ourselves or think we are better. It`s not about being better than the other. It`s more about not doing something that your soul and heart is going to hate. If we were in touch with the emotions of our soul we would understand this very easily. The soul longs for Allah and Islam. Anything that takes you away from it, would suffocate the soul.

Shy Away If You Don`t Manage It

People are different. Yes we are in this world and have to live here. People who have the same ideas/thoughts befriend each other. It is very difficult to understand a friendship between people whom are totally different. For example there are people whom often lie and backbite and see it as a hobby to severe ties between people. On the other side there are people who wants to avoid backbiting and lying and likes to mend matters between people. I can`t see how these two kinds of people can be friends for a long time. If they will manage that most probably one of them will become like the other. The qualities of the people we spend the most time with rub off on us too. When one of the person will backbite the other might stop him/her and say don`t talk about others. One of them might have to give in, eventually. Maybe the person whom doesn`t lie, will start lying, because of the effect of his friend. Your friends say a lot about you. Some people say you will be like the 5 people you spend the most time with. That is why it is important to check your circle of friends and either help each other become better or shy away if you think you do not have capacity to manage that.

Respect Their Decision

If you see such a person that is shying away from your company don`t automatically think that the person think he / she is arrogant. Don`t make assumptions that make you misunderstand a situation. Maybe that person is trying protect his / her soul from company that suffocates him/her. If people`s idea of fun can be different. Some people find islamicly lectures boring, while others doesn`t want to attend anything that is un-islamic. Different people different preferences. Pointing fingers won`t make a lie become the truth. Respect their decision and leave it between them and Allah. May Allah help us understand this. Aameen.

let me show you something that is better for youThe upbringing of girls and boys cannot be alike. I still see a lot of mistakes parents are guilty of, in raising their children. One of the most noticable one is teaching them respect.

Even though times have changed but the mindset that is taught to boys hasn`t changed. The majority of boys and even men these days think to be nothing wrong in behaving rudely to other girls they aren`t related to. They wouldn`t tolerate the same for their own sisters. If parents and especially the father has a solid muslim upbringing, he would try to teach the same values to his son. The main thing here is that every young son should be taught to respect women regardless of how they are dressed, how they behave and who they are with. Often muslim brothers doesn`t find anything wrong in insulting another girl because of her appearance and the other points mentioned before. The majority of muslims living in the West are educated to a certain degree, but they lack such manners that would weigh heavier on their scale on Judgment Day. We have no right to look down on other people no matter what state they are in. Maybe they some time would become more guided than us.  It is a matter of guidance and that is not in our hands. Backbiting or insulting them would not better the situation. Though one thing is for sure, if we don`t apologize to them in our life, we are going to lose in the Hereafter when our good deeds will be given to them till they forgive us, IF they forgive us, or else we will have to bear their bad deeds.

If you have made such a mistake, repent and make amends, apologize if possible or at least pray this dua :

In Arabic:

“Allahumma fa`ayyuma mu`minin sababtuhu faj`al thaalika lahu qurbatan ilayka yawmal-qiyaamati”.

Translation:

“O Allah, whomever of the believers i have abused, give him the reward of a sacrificial slaughter for it on the Day of Resurrection”.

You can get more dua`s from IhsaanFusion App.

May Allah give us good manners. Ameen.

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My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

Poetry

(“,) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (“,)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

Når du er forent med en
du elsker, er det ingenting
du ikke klarer :)

Gode ord skaper tillit.
Gode tanker skaper
Inderlighet. God
giverglede skaper
kjærlighet:)

Mood :)

Content.