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An attachment can be positive and it can be negative. Like a child is attached to his parents until he is independent. This is a natural attachment that we must go through. Like a nest. The baby birds learn to fly from their parents, and one day they leave their parents nest. 

The tricky part is when the attachment become negative to abusive. Like in the start of a friendship everyone seems good and nice. After a while you can see similarities of mental abusive and controlling behaviour. This often happens to people who are not able to understand how they need to respect themselves. So they tolerate disrespect from others. Other times, the “friends” doing the abuse tear down their selfesteem and confidence with their negative behaviour and remarks, that they are not able to protect themselves. 

The most important point is to learn your own value, and never let anyone devalue you. If they attempt to ridicule/ harass/ threatening/ demean or any other negative behaviour, you have to stop letting them into your life. Avoid them. 

Don’t let them manipulate you to think you can’t become succesful without them. Your success is not tied to one person. Our success comes from Allah. Bad influence is never welcome. At least not if you can’t protect yourself from the bad qualities of those people. 
This kinds of freindships are seen more in the internet world. It becomes a bad attachment when you miss them, when they’re not around. Like when a bad friend is with you, he / she treats you in a wrong way. The day he/she doesn’t come, you forget the negative treatment and miss the “company”. It’s not good for us to be around people that drag us down to bottom, everytime we meet them. Good people encourage others. Say good stuff. Gently and privately change the negative they see in you. They empover you. Anything else can not be tolerated. 

We must get rid of the bad influence in our life by making boundaries, people do not cross. If they try, first attempt: warning, second attempt: out. When we let other walkover our boundaries, they can become more cruel. 

The shephards has to protect who is under their responsebility, if they are not able to protect themselves. And every shephards will be questioned about their responsebility. If they do good, it is a way to earn immense reward. Responsability is mostly given to those who can fulfil it. If unnessasary mistakes are common. Their deeds can make their afterlife miserable. That is the greatest misery of all time. May Allah protect us. Help us diligently fulfil our duties towards those we are responsible for. And grant us wisdom to protect ourself and our loved ones from bad influence forever. Ya Allah, make us of those who have the courage of stopping the hands of the oppressors, when and if they harm us or our loved ones. Aameen ya rab. 

Image of dolls with disabilities, ukEverywhere we are at home, school, work or outdoors, we see ads. Perfect people. People with physical beauty beyond what is normal. Most of us know how detrimental it is for most of us to strive for something that is not achievable. Everyone has got one part of their physical appearance they would want to beautify. For some people go to the extreme when it comes to this and take a drastic attempt by taking a plastic operation. Some people meet many people who behave rudely towards them. Mostly it is because they are different. A difference that makes them stand out in the crowd. Many outsiders think that the only way they can find acceptance in this society is if they have a perfect body. Good conduct/character are impressions that last. Not mere the looks. Good looks might get you married to a beautiful Muslimah. Only your character, conduct would decide whether you`ll keep her for the rest of the life. The same goes for any job application or an election.

Toy  like me, would you still like us Would You Have Bought Me?

An organization in UK has wanted to make sure that children with disabilities also can see that perfect is not the goal. They have made dolls with disabilities for children who are different. This is beautiful. Makes it easier for the child to accept himself for who he /she is. It is very important that children are encouraged to be who they are, instead of trying to become like everyone else and lose themselves in the attempt. They are already one in a 7,4 billion people worlds population. Why do they feel a need to be like everyone else, when there is only one of them. They are unique. Their different-ness should be valued and treasured. Allah has a perfect plan in how He wants his worshippers to be. He does not make mistakes. May Allah help us create a community where everyone are accepted like they are. Aameen.

positive parents, children, upbringingGood and bad health is in the hands of our Creator. There is also something we have in our hands to change the situation. Many people know the right of the parents and talk and praise those who treat them well. Though we need to talk more about how parents should treat their children also. Their childhood shape them for their adulthood. If we want them to be good contributors as adults, we nee to know how to mould them into what we want them to become. I have a few thoughts about this, I would like to share.

Children Above Their Age

Children need to learn the parents rights. The parents also should be aware of the children’s rights. If a childs` opinion is validated, and their parents make them feel like they can contribute to the conversation, even with their little intellect at the moment. They would be able to, see with amazement, that many times children say words that are above their age, and good for the conversation. It is the parents that build the childs` confidence in the beginning. Just like any spouse want un-divided attention, children also need a good dose of positive attention, love, care and nurture from their parents. If the parents are able to show this in a good way, they help build healthy people who are an asset for the community and the people they interact with.

parents recognize childrens abilites and efforts,Don`t Downplay Their Abilities

It is so easy to for a parent to say to a child, don`t be disrespectful. Though the parents must also realize that if you treat he/she with respect, and teach them how to behave in a good way, with encouragement, they will. If the only way to get any attention is when children does something wrong, of course, the child that need validation, would do anything for it. To bring out good qualities in our children, we must comment positively and take out time to listen to them and reason with them, to help them think good. Not only teaching them what to think, but how to think right. Don`t downplay their abilities. That is where they learn to downplay their own abilities, in their relations as adults. At the time a child is born, it is like a white sheet. Whatever it becomes and how it behaves depends on the values that are cultivated in him/her. The parents need to realize their responsibilities before it is too late. Encourage your children and see them blossom. Build confidence and self-esteem while keeping them humble and filled with humility and gratefulness. Knowing that good would not happen to them without the will and help of Allah and hard work. When they don`t win the game, appreciate their efforts, because they worked hard. We need to raise children that will be good for the community, muslims and non muslims, but most importantly, good for Islam. May Allah help all elders and children value and respect each other and fulfil their rights and obligations towards each other in a sunnah way and help them become resourceful for the community and to each other.

never give up, chessWe are all priceless people and our individuality must be nourished. Instead of trying to fit in, we should help and encourage children to dare to stand out in a crowd, from a young age. Dare to go against the crowd. Just because some norms have become ordinary doesn`t mean we can`t evaluate, adjust and make better norms. The society and we are gradually changing whether we want it or not. Even if we resist change, it won`t stop the earth from spinning in its course or the sun or the moon from shining. Maturity is to accept change. Not only accept it but be an active part in inspiring/motivating a change for the better. An hadith quoted by Prophet Muhammad pbuh said: That time Islam came it was introduced as something strange, because it differed from the society at that time. He pbuh goes on saying that it will return to something strange, so glad tidings to the strangers. Just because it has become a norm that it isn`t “normal” to i.e. pray regularly / not backbite / wear hijab etc, doesn`t mean we can`t go back to the Sunnah of our Prophet pbuh, renew our intentions and make a norm that we are going to try to achieve this and make it a norm in our life. Our Prophet pbuh has said that anyone who reminds people about forgotten Sunnah and is capable of motivating them to follow it will have the reward of all those who start following it, without it detracting the least from their reward. (Tirmidhi). Subhan Allah what an immense opportunity. Eventually it can become an ongoing charity that only increases and pass on for generations to come. We just need to start somewhere.

 

Everyone has to start from where they are.

Some knows much but follows little, other knows little but follows new things they learn. In the beginning when Allah guides us to Islam, either we are born muslim or convert to it, we start by focusing on the outward appearance. Proper salah, beard, hijab, pay zakat etc. When our zaahir / outwardly looks like a muslim, we can focus on the inwardly things that are invisible, baatin, like character, taqwa, intention etc. Just because a brother has beard or a sister has hijab doesn`t tell us whether they are mu`min one that does what is required in Islam and stays away from what`s prohibited and the extra voluntary Ibaadah as well or on the other side one that is just a muslim and believes in Islam but doesn`t follow all the rules. But to come anywhere near becoming a mu`min we need to start being a muslim. You know at the time of the Prophet pbuh and tabièn, people put more effort in improving their baatin, and had a not so good zaahir. They were the best of muslims. Nowadays people may have a beautiful zaahir but rather bad baatin because of bad character. Jealousy, envy, hatred, having bad thoughts about other, backbiting, spreading malicious gossip has become the norm rather than the exception. A good deed will still be a good deed, even if no one does it, a bad deed will still be a bad deed, even if everyone does  it. Instead of supporting eachother in doing bad deeds, we should rather try to motivate eachother to do good deeds. What is within our capacity.

 

Friends for eternity

It is important that we look at others who are better than us in deen, to motivate us also to improve ourselves. Our friends has an impact on our personality. If we always hang around with righteous people, their thoughts and behaviour will rub off on us too. If we always spend time with people who are worse than us in deen, we might learn things that will misguide us further away from Islam. Allah is the only One Who guides. If one person in a circle of friends becomes better, he/she should also try to change his/her surrounding. If that is not possible than at least don`t let his environment change him/her and try to seek more righteous company.

 

own faults
Make others feel hopeful rather than hopeless

Iman rises with doing good deeds and decreases by sinning. Because the nature of humans is that they sometime or other will fall into sin, it is important that we turn back to Allah and repent as soon as this happens. Make it a habit to not let our sin make us feel hopeless. We need to be feeling hopeful of Allah`s forgiveness. He forgives everything as long as we have pure intentions and make amends. We should also have a responsibility on others that we always make other feel hopeful of Allah`s Mercy. Or else we will be made answerable for coming in the way of someone whom wanted to turn back to Allah, but because of our negativity, strayed. Hate the sin, but not the sinner, as everyone can and will sin. An awesome quote says: just because someone sins different from us, shouldn`t make us feel better than them. Allah loves the humble sinner more than those people whom becomes proud after he/she has done a good deed. We must know that anything good we have done, it is because Allah guided us. He is the only one whom guides. So he wants us to do it. It should make us feel thankful/grateful, that he chose us to be amongst those people whom does some good deeds, be it prayer, charity or someone whom helps other or anything that leads to good. Allah inspires good things to us. It is not because of ourselves.

 

People find faults even where there are few

We should not be scared of showing the world that we are muslims, by having beard/ hijab etc or performing salah. Though it is also important that if we have started with something good, let it become a norm before we share it with others. The evil eye is for real. There are some people whom no matter what good things you do, they`ll always pinpoint the mistakes, rather than appreciating the good you do. Don`t mind others. We will get back from Allah. People criticize, judge, find faults even if there aren`t many. Allah hides flaws, forgives, helps through difficult times, regardless of amount of sins. As long as we purify our intentions once in a while, we will always turn back to Him to put our trust where it belongs. He is sufficient for us. When our intention is to please Allah, we won`t mind what people say. Some times they are on your side, other times they are against you. People change quicker than the weather. If we rely on Allah alone, we will not be disappointed. There is no better support in the universe than Him. We dare to stand out in a gathering, only when we know we are on the right path. May Allah guide and keep us on the right path always. Ameen summa ameen.

frogs 1I would like to share this story, because it is very inspiring.

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods and two of them fell into a deep pit.  All the other frogs gathered around the pit.  When they saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all of their might.  The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead.  Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up.  He fell down and died. The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could.  Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die.  He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said: “Did you not hear us?”  The frog explained to them that he was deaf.  He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.

The moral from the story is that when people discourage you simply give them the deaf ear. Don`t listen to what they have to say, get busy with other stuff. Know that true encouragement can lift spirits to a height they have never been before, so keep up the good work, in sha Allah.

Encouragement from someone can make such a great impact on you that can make you succeed. So try to spread some encouraging words. And remember that people will never be pleased with you no matter what you do, there will always be someone whom is displeased with you, it`t a lot more easy to please the Creator. He is the only one who can truly help us through every difficulty.

May Allah bless every person that is going through tough times. Ameen summa ameen.

respectYour wife will feel esteemed when..

-You say, “I`m so proud of the way you handled that”

-You speak highly of her in front of others

-You open the door for her

-You try something new with her

-You give her encouragement or praise with kindness and enthusiasm

-You notice something different about her hair or clothes

-You are physically affectionate with her in public

-You teach the children to show her and others respect

-You value her opinion in the gray areas as not wrong but just different – and valid

-You choose family outings over “guy things”

-You make her feel first in importance

-You are proud of her and all she does

Check out and click on site www . Purify Your Gaze . com

https://purifyyourgaze.com/

My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

Poetry

(“,) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (“,)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

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