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What is the American dream? What is America today? What makes an American an American? Mostly people talk about becoming famous. Rich. Live a luxurious life. Have everything you can have that money can buy. As many cars as you need. Become rich in a few months and not work for the rest of the life. How many of those who have become popular because of an art they know, have become more humble? When we hear about the life of the rich and famous, people admire them. What a life they have. Everyone around them are so gorgeous. What happens to a life, when they no longer experience any difficulty? Everything is easy, they can buy what they want, at any time? No restrictions? Allah takes away the joy and satisfaction? A rapper once said, I have everything I desire, still I have no peace. Maybe he lost what he needed the most to achieve peace. The love of Allah, and being obedient to Him.
How Is Life In Norway
What is the Norwegian dream? Back to basics. People travel almost every other weekend to the mountains, away from the city, where they can find peace. Go skiing. Simple life in a cottage. They only bring with them the essentials. They connect with the quietness of nature and the peace surrounding them. Away from turmoil, cars and traffic signals. They find themselves through the quietness. The humbleness that is seen is very beautiful. Before the world became a global unity. Life was easier. Most people weren`t so much aware of the right clothes. They spent more time on being the right person. The increase of media, has resulted in people becoming so aware of fashion, that it has lost it`s value. Now, it`s more about what you’re wearing than who you are? Is it the right brand? Norway has also been affected by this. Many people are trying to find the american dream in Norway. But that`s not typical norwegian. There was a time, when the leaders also lived a very ordinary life. A very norwegian simple life. The fear of terrorism has changed how we live. Many important people doesn`t leave their home with out people who protect them.
Simplicity
When we compare these two types of national dreams, what is the conclusion? We find peace where we find simplicity. Where there is less noise. Connect with oneself, and family. Away from gadgets, tv etc. Talking. Connecting with each other without distractions. The characteristics of a typical norwegian has some matters in common with typical muslims values. Finding tranquility, connecting with Allah. See His Beauty. How beautiful He has made Norway. It`s not only the mountains and the sea`s. If we look at the bunad. It is different from city to city. One matter it has in common, it shows the femininity of a woman, while the same time, a modest dress. This is the heritage of Norway. If we look at what american woman wants to wear, they are starving their body to fit into a dress that shows much skin. The national dress of Norway, is very expensive. Teenager are often gifted it from the family in their teens.
Beauty In Re-Use
The new thing now, is to own the most newest thing. New phone, new car, new design, new fashion. If it’s old it’s out. Many american magazines are influencing their readers into becoming more materialistic. When the phone breaks, we buy another of the newest designs. Many Norwegians are very sensitive about the environment. Not even that, they find pride in wearing their grandparents clothes from their younger years. A family can often re-use clothes in many generations, before their worn out. And they proudly say it to their friends, and do not hide it. Many still doesn’t care more about newest fashion and design, than something from their family. Often many designs do come back after several years. They also often find proudness in buying second-hand, clothing and furniture. Many people have made it their hobby, to go to such places and try to find some real antiques. Often do they get a great bargain. The money sent to help people, and they find one of a kind of something real ancient an awesome. They care for the history behind the ancient stuff.
Take Care Of Their Health
With eating fast food and less exercise, it is easy to gain weight. The majority of American has come into this vicious circle, where they make a little effort to keep their health. In general Norwegians are very active people. They like to keep themselves fit by being active in summer and winter sports. Not only with their school, but also with family, friends and free time. It is a part of their culture. Taking part in outdoor activities. Spending time camping.
Norwegian Support Good Causes
Often when there is any kind of people who need help. They eagerly take part in collecting donations. In demonstrations against oppression, there are more Norwegian participants, than the ethnicity of the people they are fighting for. They care, they listen. Often supportive of the weak, the oppressed. They spend many hours daily and weekly for voluntary work for the less fortunate. The refugees. Those who live on the street. Finding missing people. They want to help the community. Give back of the goodness, they have. Many are doing much remarkable efforts. It is not about money. They genuinely care for the weak. It’s very inspiring. Even with family, children, and many of the same chores of other muslims, they still manage to take out time for the betterment of the community.
They Earn Their Money
They earn their living. Many take education, and work to attain a meaningful living. After retirement, many help as volunteers helping children with their school work. They don’t see work as burdening. Good work ethics. Being active. Utilizing their skills.
Your Voice Is Heard
The democratic system. Their open debate. Often amazes me. People can voice their opinions. They often have open debate about matters around social security. The good news is, people are heard. The bad news can be, that people (countries, groups) can harm them through the info they get via media.
Norwegian Muslim?
There is much beauty in the Norwegian heritage and culture. There is much goodness in calling ourself Norwegian muslims. Proud of where we live. Thankfulness. Gratitude. Muslims come from many backgrounds, many ethnicities, many colors. One matter they have in common is their deen. We can still be good muslims and good Norwegian citizen, at the same time.
Hazoor Paak ﷺ manners are perfect. He has perfected how and what good manners are. We cherish him ﷺ because of his ﷺ way of interaction with each and every. His ﷺ seerah is our guideline in how we can reach his ﷺ awsome character, truthfulness, sincerity, genuine care, cheerfulness, problemsolver, comforter, supplications, obedience to Allah, Purity, Asr, strength, inclusiveness, dislikes of sins, heartmelting speech and conduc, good treatment of others regardless of what they own, gratitude to Allah, concern and mercifulness for all humanity.
The Upper Class With Good Manners
People nowadays, often find excuses of why people are difficult, because of their lack of manners. Just teach him/her manners. That is more important than knowledge. I dont agree with this. First of all, knowledge is useless without behaviour in accordance with what we have learned. It’s not enough to “know” that the best of men are those who are good to their wife. It must also be seen in their conduct. Second point is that many people know, how to eat, sit, what to say, not say, the prohibitions of guarding tongue and private parts. The upper class knows how to behave, but they lack the good islamic values in their life. They know what to wear, how to decorate their home, how to befriend anyone. Still they lack the basic teachings of Islam. The problem isn’t that they do not say salam to people, the problem is that when that person has passed, most people are not able to guard their tongue from sins of the tongue, eyes or private parts. This has become so ordinary, that people doesn’t see any problem with it.
He ﷺ seeked advice from his ﷺ wife
It’s not enough to say that you love Hazoor Paak ﷺ because of how he helped everyone, and supported everyone all the time, when you are too ashamed to help your wife in front of your friends, because your friends makes fun of the sunnah of helping your wife. His wife decides everything. Hazoor Paak ﷺ has wives who have helped him with what he should do, when the sahaba raa were not obeying his command. His ﷺ wife said, don’t tell them to cut their hair and make sacrifice. Do it and they will follow your conduct. And what she raa said, happened.
95 % Of Muslims Are Not Doing It
How can we talk about manners without talking about Hazoor Paak ﷺ seerah. His ﷺ most perfect treatment of others. How are we today? Do we lower our gaze? Do we read 5 salah everyday? Do we speak truthfully? Do we slander? Do we make fun of others? Are we practising humility? If only 5 % of muslims pray salah, and the salah, protect us from doing sins, it means 95% of muslims are surely sinning, not only by not praying, but because they aren’t praying, they are not able to stop themselves from those sins prayers protect them from committing.
A New Time Of Ignorance?
I know that the problem of the ummah, is that there has come a new time of jahiliyah (ignorance). There is no event we can attend where there isn’t people who are sinning with their tongues, with their eyes and with their private parts? The protection a practising muslim sees, is by simply decline. I don’t want to be a part of any event, where my islamic values are disrespected.
Can You Hear Hazoor Paak ﷺ weeping?
I’m sure Hazoor Paak ﷺ knows what we are going through. Can you imagine his ﷺ feelings? He ﷺ weeping. He ﷺ weeping. He ﷺ sobbing. What will happen to my ummah, when the ummati are just as afraid from another ummati, as they are from a non-muslim?
It is annoying sometimes, when muslim leaders tell families, to keep their women at home. It is correct that women has a bigger responsibility when it comes to raising children. But we can’t close our eyes to the society we are co-existing in.
Your Opinion Matters
Number 1. The first matter spouses often have disagreement about, is money. Number 2. If there wouldn’t be any females in different professions, the muslim women would have to go to male doctors, male nurses male teachers, males in kindergarden, males in shops for women and etc. At a time where they need to talk with people of the same gender. Number 3. The most marriages in the west need two salaries to be able to pay for their expenses. Number 4. The wifes’ that stay home for the kids upbringing usually have a small social network. In other words, their need to socialize is not met by only going to the mosque sometimes a month. Number 5. Many muslim men doesn’t pay for the expenses of their wife. They do not fulfill their duty of providing for her and giving her a certain amount every month etc. Number 6. Instead of holding back our women from work because of their hijab, why do we not at least educate muslim men, to treat other muslim women within the boundaries of haya, modesty, lowering gaze, guarding tongue and private parts? Number 7. Help the women in your family to choose profession where they can be an advantage for the community, while also keep their hijab and modesty, and also be safe, where she is. When Muslim women will take an active part in their work, they will be able to influence decisions that affect muslims in their community. They will help build strong communities. The muslim womens opinion matters.
The Patient Can Choose The Gender Of The Doctor
If every family told the women to stay home because of Islam, within a few generations muslim women would have far more trouble in going outside. The places where the female gender is necessary would be male-dominated. That could cause more trouble. I don’t know if anyone have been in Pakistan lately. There is a reason why they have built malls (shops) for females only. Or in a specific timing, only females are allowed to go inside the mall. That means only female workers will attend them. In that way, they do not have unwanted attention that decrease their freedom. And the safety of women is also safeguarded. Imagine, a woman doctor in Norway, can`t choose to only have female patients. She has to treat both genders. Neutrally with haya, of course. If there weren`t any female asian lady doctors, many asian women today, might not be able to get the proper help they needed. In the time of the Prophet pbuh, many sahabi took part in the battles where muslims fought. Sometimes as nurses bandaging the wounded and also as fighting the enemies. It`s in our islamic heritage. The community need more women to take part in building healthy communities. Islam does not dismiss women working. It just want both genders to practice the ethics of Islam at work and school, as at home.
The Beauty Is In The Perfection
I believe Islam is beautiful. I love Islam. Alhamdolillah. But sometimes we have to be a bit practical. Islam is perfect. But the practice of Islam in the ummah, makes it look ugly. A dai (preacher of Islam) once said. There was a time when muslims practised Islam in such a way, people said, look at so- and so- to motivate other muslims. Nowadays the name is often muslim, but the practice is so poor, that when we talk to some people who are interested in learning about Islam, we tell them to learn it from the Quran and sunnah. Go back to the real source. Don’t look at muslims, who doesn’t pray, and lies, and backbites and earn money in a haram manner. Their practice is not islamic. I`m sure many muslims knows families where the whole family has been muslims for at least three generations, yet still neither of the generations is following even the basics of Islam. Yet they call themselves muslims.
Lets Look At The World
In some countries, wagons of the public transport, is different between the genders. To prevent harassment of women. Some countries have been talking about it. In Afghanistan, a woman goes out with niqab and all her body covered. Even the face. Still these women are harassed there. It is because the men aren`t lowering their gazes and practising haya. In india, group-rape of women, and rape in general is widely spread. In egypt, women have their undergarments teared off in the street, by men walking by. It is not enough to keep women at home to protect them from assault. Parents must teach both sons and daughters how to behave within the boundaries of Islam. Haya, hijab, lowering gaze, and less interaction. If these men were taught good values from their childhood, many of them would have had a good character. It`s not enough to name your son as a muslim, if you don`t teach him good values, than it will be your own loss. Remember in many countries, women are wearing hijab, yet are still being harassed. Obviously the men must also lower their gaze and protect their private parts, and practice modesty.
First Look At Your References
Keeping the women at home, to protect them isn`t the answer here. It is the time of internet, YouTube, snapchat, Skype. Filth can be found, in the media, within your home. With free time, and boringness, many people can go astray. Ya Allah, protect us. Aamen. If you don`t teach your children to fear Allah, they can easily get misguided. The reason why such, problems are on the increase is because we think just knowing Islam is enough. That`s completely wrong. Even non-muslims know about Islam. Many times more than many muslims. Yet they don`t accept it in their heart nor do they practise it. We muslims accept the message, but do not live according to it. It is not enough to know that salah is important. Unless you pray the prayers every day, you will not be granted khusho, or the sweetness of salah. That which is the coolness of Hazoor Paak ﷺ and his biggest comfort in hardships. We need a spiritual awakening of the ummah. Where we also are doing the good we know. It`s like when your supervisor is going to hire a new colleague. No one hires a new employ based on what they know. Even if they have a master degree. First they look at their references. Do they have practise from the subjects they have studied. That`s why most people have many difficulties finding their first job. To have that first reference, that will open doors for better opportunities. When we improve on our sprituality we will practice islam also in private, not only in public. The wisdom of Islam comes from practising what you have learned, not just talking about it.
Housewife From Back Home
Many women in arrange marriages, who travel to norway, with their spouse, live at home for the first 10 years of their marriage. In Pakistan still many women are housewifes. Many gain weight. Many sleep the day and wakes after mid-day. No specific routine of day. The social life in Pakistan is better than in Norway. A wife that is married to a pakistani here in norway, often have small social circles, and have to start from scratch, in building network. After these women have stayed home the first ten years of their marriage, raising children, they are often very eager to start an employment. Socialize with other. The children doesn`t need them that much. Their expenses have increased or not paid by their husband. Very little social life at home. Many eagerly start learning the language of their country. In hope of a job. Many health issues from poor diet. These women, most of them, wants to get out more. They have lived the life of being a housewife, in Norway. Their problems are underrated. Few talk about it. Many are also struggling in their marriage.
The Community Need Muslim Women In Many Professions
We can live in a bubble and think that this is what we want. Unless the world is able to offer it, we have to seek insight in the reality of our time today. Keeping women at home, is not the only option. First parents need to educate both genders about ethics of islam. Cultivate in them fear of Allah. Help them choose good friends and good education according to their gender. If you really want to protect your wife from the ill of this community, talk with others about how we can educate men and sons to practice islam also outside the home. Social life in norway is very different from Pakistan, and many wife`s lead a very deppressive life, staying home as housewifes. Help them choose profession where they can utilize their abilities, earn salary, socialize. All this within the boundaries of Islam. All this will help the muslim women increase their quality of life. They will be happier. Active. Learning. Changing. Growing as people. Know more about the society they live in. That is important to raise good obedient children. They can positively influence the development of our community. Ya Allah, help the community succeed in making it easy for muslim women, if they wish, to have an employment where they can use their qualities, while also taking care of all of her duties at home. Aamen
Ummah is dealing with low integrity, bad manners, bad niyah, wrong ikhlas, no ibaadah, no haya, openly sinning, leaving islam.
While the leaders are fighting about details of the 4 madhabs, that we disagree with each other about.
The ummah, isn’t even following one matter of what the four madhabs agree about. And the leaders are afraid people are going astray. How will we be able to help the ummati from fighting another ummati, when the ummah’s leaders are fighting.
If our niyah is clean, and we want to help people to the righteous way, we have to find something that unites us. One person can’t do it alone. Those on the wrong path, will of course resist, coming on the straight path. Ya Allah guide and help the shephards to help and guide their flock, while also prevent their flock from wronging others. Aameen
Every hijabi girl or woman is struggling with this. How can I feel beautiful, at the same time, win the struggle of perfecting my hijab. Most men look for beauty in a woman. If both men and women were taught how and what beauty actually is, this struggle wouldn`t have been so damaging for the society/community.
Value Real Beauty In Others
Here in Norway, we see a great diversity of hijabi women and girls. Many of them has a zahiri correct hijab. And many also deviate from the whole concept, and fall into the faults of hijab that goes against it`s meaning. When women wear hijab, that attracts attention, they are not honouring it. Make-up, strong colors, camel-hump style, tight clothing, and see-through-fabric. All these matters, make them attractive to other men and boys. If we could teach our girls, what beauty is. And help them to value it in other people. We can help them in this fight. Their hijab is supposed to hide their beauty, not their beauty more prominent.
Husbands: Re-assure Your Wife Often
Most women doesn`t know what beauty is. They work on their looks, every day. Looking beautiful is not the same as feeling beautiful. If they knew how beautiful good values, good conduct, good character, good manners, integrity is, they would try to increase their effort in cultivating these qualities in them and their children. That is what the sunnah of Hazoor Paak pbuh, has taught us. The right hijab for a woman or girl, wouldn`t have been such a big issue, if the men, those who will become a muslim husband, were also taught, what beauty actually is. The women, adores themselves for their husband. If men would appreciate their wife, when she beautified herself for him, she would probably put more effort in it. If the dear husband, helped their wife feel beautiful, she wouldn`t look for the reassurance other places. Like when she step out of her home. When wives in general doesn`t feel beautiful and aren`t certain about their beauty, they beautify themselves. That would attract attention, to confirm what they want to hear. That they are beautiful. If there husband doesn`t help them find this. They try to find it outside home.
She Always Finds Something Negative About Herself
A right size model, beautiful, can think that she is ugly. Not because she is comparing herself to others. But she is looking for perfection in what she is seeing on the outside. I want no pimples. No fat. Right color of hair. Always wearing make-up. If anyone saw her, they would be amazed by her outer appearance. But her friends knows. She has low self-esteem and confidence. No matter how beautiful she looks, she always find something negative in it. Negative self-talk. If she would instead cut time she spends on her outside for so many hours daily, and instead spend half an hour on building her self-esteem and self-confidence regularly. She would feel beautiful. She would have a positive attitude about herself. Easily forgive. No matter how much weight she will gain, she will think good of herself. She would know her strengths and weaknesses. She would have self-insight about herself, and become self-empovering. If parents helped young girls, and build them up from the inside, no matter how people talked about their appearance, they would be confident within themselves. When people understand how to feel beautiful, they work more on those matters, because it releases positive energy. It`s no more about, I want to look good anymore. It`s about I want to do good deeds, because that makes me feel good. Real beauty is not about those who heart eyes, with their beauty, it`s about those who melt hearts with their good and decent conduct. These people change hearts. They can make a difference.
Husbands And Wives Duties And Rights
From the time a girl is young, she is looking forward to one day find a man and get married. Many girls and women want to wear hijab, but are afraid whether that will hinder them from finding a spouse, in their future. This is why it is important for the entire muslim community, in every country, to teach their boys and men, what beauty is. Help them understand the beauty of how good righteous women, can help them achieve great work for Islam, by supporting them in their way for Islam. Male find comfort in their wife, that rejuvenate them to get closer to Allah. Maybe that is why Allah said the best joy for a muslim man, is having a righteous wife. She will help him do good. Comfort him, and motivate him, to do more. In the journey of having a good relationship with her husband, every wife must understand, the necessary of the wife adoring herself for her husband. When she will put some effort in this for her marriage, it will make it easier for the husband, to lower his gaze and keep himself pure. Other women will make less fitnah for her husband, because he is being fulfilled with what he needs, from his wife. This sunnah, is often ignored by many wives. They don`t keep themselves clean in the house. Or beautify themselves only for their husband’s sake. This causes damage to their husbands, whom are really hungered when they step out every day. In the west, when men go outside for work, they can easily get attracted to other females, because of the fitnah of how they beautify themselves. Nowadays, even a muslimah without hijab and with hijab can be a fitnah for a muslim man. When the wifes hungers their husbands, and they meet these sights outside their home, I can understand, what kind of difficulty this must cause for their life. If both the wife and husband, dig in their goodwill towards each other, and starts to do the work they are needed to keep each other fulfilled, many troubles can be minimized or sorted out. And the couple and the family could enjoy a more blessed and barakah full life.
A Summarized List To Remember Always:
1. Help children boys and girls understand the beauty of good conduct, good deeds, helping hands for those less fortunate.
2. Parents build the self-esteem and confidence of their children, boys and girls.
3. Every wife, beautify yourself unconditionally for your husband only
4. Every husband, appreciate your wife unconditionally, shower on her love. When she feels beautiful, she would do more to look beautiful.
5. When every marriage is fulfilling the need of the husband and wife, they will be rejuvenated to do much more. This will help the wife fulfil her duty of hijab, and the husband to lower his gaze when he steps outside. Happy and good parents raise great children.
Protect Your Marriage = Protect Your Community
If we are able to raise children who know what beauty is, and confident about themselves, they will be a positive contributor for both muslim and non-muslim community in your country. There is a reason why some male, men and boys, stand on the corner of many places in most countries, even islamic countries. When every wife and husbands spends time on protecting their marriage, it also protect other marriages. Every man or woman, who has to step outside, and is not fulfilled from the home, will easier fall into fitnah. It doesn`t have to be a affair. It can be media, pictures, programmes etc. These people can cause trouble for other marriages. That is why every married ummati, must fulfil their duties upon their spouse, and not only talk about what rights they have. Ya Allah, protect every marriage, for every ummati til the end of time. Help every spouse fulfil their duties towards their spouse and children. Help us understand what beauty is. How to cultivate the beauty of character in ourself, and our family. Help us correct our shortcomings. Aamen summa aamen.
Picture courtesy : the muslim show.
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