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stressed outIf and we try to understand why some people behave or say something, instead of just looking at how they behave or what they say, we can easily “help” the situation by responding accordingly.

Why Did You Yell, Dad? 

For example, when your toddler runs to pick up his football from the road. Most parents would become angry at him (yell) after they’d save him from the car on the road. A child doesn’t understand that your yelling and “danting” because you care. He will think it’s the opposite. We yell when we’re angry, but we also yell when we’re scared. The response is the same : yelling, but the reason behind it is difference according to ones feelings. Don’t think you know anyone when you only know their response and not their reason behind. Or the pressure they are experiencing.

Respond With Empathy

Everyone responds to things happening in their life according to their situation. You will surely see a different respond from people experiencing tension and stress in life compared to those with a tension-free life. It’s easy to say, he/she responds in-appropriately. Without being in the exact same situation yourself with the same amount of pressure, you have no idea how you would respond.

How Much Pressure Can You Tolerate? 

It`s like the tv-program “Myth Busters”, that wanted to see how stressed a person would become if he/she was tied and a drop of water would fall on his/her forehead. How long would it take before that person, would say “stop”. The amount of pressure a person can take is individual. When you have no idea what another person is going through. Please keep your own comments for yourself. God forbid may Allah not put you in a similar situation because of your arrogance and little empathy.

-Muslimah

 

life, thinker, mirror, bonde, dronning, queenTo be able to live a happy life, it is very important for every person to have a good amount of self-esteem within themselves. You have to work with yourself to have a positive balance within you. Whether your male or female. We cannot rely on the sources outside. Others can`t or won`t always cheer us up. We need to nurture our confidence so that it can grow. Of course it gives you a boost that other people think positive thoughts about you. But it won`t last if we don`t feel the same way about ourself. Another point is that people whom have low self-esteem don`t always validate or believe other people`s praise about them. They`re simply to low to feel that there is any good in them.

 

Make a list of achievements on a daily basis

The best way to deal with low self-esteem is to keep a diary of your achievements with you through the whole day. Here you can write three things you have achieved per day, and your mood, by the side of it. For example, today I managed to get an A on the x exam. It made me feel intelligent and I know i earned it because of my hard work the weeks before it. Mood : Smart/Happy/Intelligent/Diligent, etc. By doing this you will slowly start to rebuild confidence.

 

To much ain`t good either

Just like it isn`t good to have low self-esteem, it isn`t seen as a good thing to be over-confident either. We need to be balanced and be in touch with reality.  I know I have done this before, but that doesn`t mean that I will be able to do this. No one likes bragging over-confident people. What attracts others is humility and people whom have their feet planted on the ground. By knowing your potential and the fact that we can all err at sometime, you will be in touch with the real you. We must not blind our vision by always thinking positive, but we must also know the reality, and whether a goal is achievable or not.

 

There is always room for improvement

If you have low self-esteem it is important that you keep writing three positive achievements a day, for about three to five months. After that you can try to come with suggestions on how you can improve yourself. Like for instance, one suggestion a day about how you can improve a certain conduct in yourself. It is very important that you don`t start with this before you have build your self-esteem to a certain extent that you don`t end up with a negative balance. It`s about being positive but at the same time having the insight that there are certain  things I can do better. There is always room for improvement. No one is perfect. Knowing this and keeping it in mind, whenever we fail, would help us to dust of the negativity and at the same time we give ourself chances to improve, with suggestions like, next time I`ll meet that situation like this or that.

 

You can`t stop setbacks, only how you deal with them

The most important thing is that we will have setbacks and things that happen in our lives that can be totally negative a day/week/month. The best thing is that on these rainy days you take out your diary and read the achievements you have been writing for some time. That would boost you enough to bounce back into a positive mood. You will realize that even though I messed up today/this week/this month, I have done a lot of good things that weigh more than these “incidents”. You will find inner strength and feel less dependent on your surrounding, spouse, family to cheer you up.

 

Low self-esteem in spouse

When one of the spouses in a relationship has low self-esteem, believe me, the couple will go through some tough times, until they work on themselves. It can be very difficult to be positive and have a wonderful relationship, if one or both of the spouses is always negative. To turn this around, both should keep a diary of their achievements. If you know your spouse is dealing with this, do not critisize him/her.  Especially not in front of others, be it children, parents or siblings. Also don`t think that this is not a male-issue. This can happen to both genders. What is important is that both are mature enough to see where they lack and being willing to work on it. Sometimes it is hard to be true to your spouse, because you know he/she can be hurt about it. So instead of saying, you do this or that, say lets do this together, both of us. Realization is important, and willing to make a difference. Another thing is that even if you have a positive balance today, doesn`t mean it will always be like that. Negative things can happen at any time. We can never be safe from that. But if we ourselves are strong, we will handle them better in a way that we bounce back to our positive attitude if we have worked on it.

 

You can never be too late for this

The right time is now. You can never be too late/too old/too young. Even if you are in your teens, student, married, single, parent. Know that when you have worked on this for some time you will feel a positive change in how you think, and be able to handle the ups and the downs in your life. Keep a positive track for about 3-5 months and after that start with one thing you can improve about yourself daily. Don`t start with the improvement list to early, before you have a positive account. How much time you need can be individual. You know when your ready for it. The best way to find inner strength is to be your own best friend. Only than you are able to have healthy relationship, be it family, spouse or friends. Your self-esteem will remain and increase regardless of your surrounding. You will become more positive and believe in your own abilities. You will come to know yourself, your strenghts/weaknesses. You will become a better version of yourself. What can be better than that? Try it for a month, and see how it changes your life for the better.

words of encouragementEach and every one of us wants to see others happy. Well most of us. What do you do when you are happy, but a few others are sad? Are you the chirpy one that doesn`t even notice that others are sad or are you the sensitive one that sees the face behind the other people`s smiles? What do you do about that?

Sometimes one can see what kind of mood people are in by just listening to them talk. Other times their body-language says it all but themselves are quiet. I guess some people have a Phd in reading others while others are totally unfamiliar about others moods.

Well, no matter how you feel. You will feel even better if you use your strength with words of encouragement towards others when they are down. It doesn`t mean that you should keep on giving them false hope, when they have lost something. It just means that you are letting them know about all the other things in their life, that they are taking for granted.

What a waste. I mean you have everything in your life, and even more than others, but you still want something you can`t get and see it like everything is lost. Think about everything you have in your life. If you start counting about every thing you are blessed with, you will get tired, but will not be able to count it. Everything is a blessing. There is a blessing in giving, and it is a blessing in withholding. That is because Allah knows best, we haven`t seen the future, but He knows.

If we are grateful for the blessings in our life, we will also achieve more from Allah. He loves those humans that are grateful. We should try to not take our lives for granted, before they pass by, and we have come till the end. It is so important to take those moment in between to say Alhamdolillah, thanks for everything Allah 🙂

If someone you know doesn`t know about the blessing of thankfulness, let them know today. One “thumbs up” can do miracles. By spreading some positivity you will get it back sometime one way or the other. So there is no loss in it. Cheer up your surroundings and you will get such a positivity boost from it, that you will cheer up yourself as well, in sha Allah 😉

I think ke the colors we use some of them does have an effect on our mood. You know whether they are dark or light colors does make a difference. If one wears black clothes a lot than the black color absorbs all your positive energy and makes you a sadder person. So please! Don`t wear black! Unless you’re wearing a black dress 😉 Fantabolous 😉 Than it`s allowed 🙂 Avoid black as much as you can, oki 🙂

Check out and click on site www . Purify Your Gaze . com

https://purifyyourgaze.com/

My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

Poetry

(“,) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (“,)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

Når du er forent med en
du elsker, er det ingenting
du ikke klarer :)

Gode ord skaper tillit.
Gode tanker skaper
Inderlighet. God
giverglede skaper
kjærlighet:)

Mood :)

Content.