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When we learn something from our teacher. He (she) lights a torch of knowledge (wisdom) in us. The love for remembering Allah increases. Now it’s upto us, to take care of it, help it grow and to pass it on to others, and invite them to the mehfil. The love of Allah, is such, that no matter who your family, sibling, spouse, children, work, color, ethnicity is, without that love, everything we have gained is bitter. With the love and obedience of Allah, no matter how small achievement it is, Allah makes it good for us, increases baraqah through it for us, blesses us through the achievement. When we invite other to the khair (dhikr mehfil), we wish for them something similar as we have. Inviting someone for the sake of Allah, means we are not helping them for any personal benefit, except that if they start with dhikr, they will pray for us, and our own baraqah increases in our life. What good they will do, will also benefit us with good deeds. And the khair becomes a sadqa jariyah (ongoing charity), that lasts longer than our life. When we pray salah or do dhikr, it is for our personal benefit. Allah doesn’t need our prayers. We are in need of Him. If we only pray for a certain matter to happen for us, and it doesn’t happen, we can’t let our practice of love and obedience for Allah, die because of that. No matter what your blessing is, Allah decreases the goodness from that blessing, if you are not obedient to Him (Allah). We need Allah, just as much as when we are the most succesful human on earth, as when we are of the most un-succesful person on earth, in dunya blessings. Success without Allah, is actually failure, no matter your salary, your children, status, spouse etc. Ya Allah, grant us to win the struggle of perfecting our niyah, our ikhlas, our integrity. Aamen. Ya Allah, help us increase in doing dhikr every day. Ya Allah, Help us successfully pass on the torch of the remembrance of Allah, for the sake of Allah, to others, so it can become an ongoing charity for us for many years. Ya Allah, grant us to win the struggle in correcting those faults in us, that are coming in our way of us learning what our teacher knows we lack. Grant us to reach our fullest potential in becoming the most succesful “muttaqi of imam” of our time. Aamen

rose, quality muslimah, islam, conduct, knowledge, wisdom, practice Islam, understandI have met so many amazing muslimahs the last 9 years. Women who has so much to offer, yet their resourcefulness is not being utilized. Their lives would have been so much more meaningful, if their family had backed them more. Let me explain more.

The Help They Need

A wife`s first priority after marriage is her husband, and after some time their children. In most asian muslim families, where daughters are brought from back home to the west. It take many years to help them adapt to the society here. Some learn the language easily, while others might never ever be able to pass test to be able to work. Although it is the family`s responsibility that these women are helped through there first years here, many times they do not get the help they need.

First Of All Imagine.

You have a network of family and friends back home. When you come here, you not only have to adapt into a whole new family but also build your own new network. That is not always that easy. Especially for wives, when they often get busy with parenthood, before they are able to learn the language properly. They have to postpone their own dreams in order for the family. I might dare say, many women come back to school, years afterwards, where they tell how much they also wanted to utilize their life for something more meaningful than just stay home with children and the little network they have or might not have. They have dreams to also earn a living, using their resources to earn money and buy things without always thinking of their expenditures. A little more planning and help from the husband could have made their situation easier.

Being A Mother Is Very Giving

Every woman has dreams of her own. Apart from being a mother and a wife. Doing something meaningful that is important to here. Having a social life, friends, network, buying things she need, without always have to ask for permission, or to be able to have women only evenings with her friends. Husband doesn`t realize that if they would support their wife more in achieving her dreams and some sort of independence, she would become a much better wife for him and a better mother for her children. Often times when women get married, they give little precedence to their own needs. Their husband needs come first. Than their children’s needs. Then their in-laws preferences. After a list, at the end their own needs come, if they have any energy or time to spend for themselves. For a mother to give her children to her husband and have a friends dinner out, is if i might dare say, not the reality for many asian wives. Although the husband in the same family, has at least one day a week, he can enjoy with this friends. If not many more. Even though the parenthood is both parents responsebility, often the mothers take the most heaviest burdens. They have a such job, that they never get any time off. It`s a 24/7 on work for their family.

Education Going To Waste

When husbands stop their wifes from getting a job or an education or to work when they have a sound education. They should re-think what they are doing. If and when the parents of a muslimah doctor had thought the same. The wife of these husbands had to meet a male doctor at the hospital for a check up under her pregnancy. Thank god, that some parents encourage their daughters to get a decent education with good values so that they can contribute to the community. We have muslimah doctors, nurses, teachers, dentists, engineers and so on. It is not easy for them to go out of their home and work. Their best hijab is in their home. But yet we must not forget that if every muslimah had thought that, our own muslimah wives, would have had difficulty getting any good help, without meeting their own “tribe”, when they need some sort of help/assistance. We can`t stop these resources from contributing positively for the society, and be so selfish and only think about our own good. Of course that comes first, but we must also try to help others, whom might have more difficult life than ourselves.

Muslimah`s And Islam – The Sunnah Way

Under the time when the prophet Muhammad pbuh had to do hijrah to medina with Abu bakr Siddiq raa, they left makkah and passed by cave thawr. They stayed there for a few days to protect themselves from their enemies. The daughter of Abu Bakr siddiq raa, Asma Bint Abu Bakr, came to them with food-supplies, through difficult roads and facing many dangers. The muslimah sahabi`s have helped Islam not by being passively at home, but by being with the muslims in wars, also fighting the enemies and taking care of those wounded. So you see it is not Islam that oppresses women, it is the illiterate minds. Even knowledgable people can be illiterate for not being able to believe in what is right and haqq. If knowledge opened minds of everyone than the most knowledgable lecturers would have accepted Islam. Not everyone does. Even in the most intelligent people there are many who doesn`t accept what is right for what is right and what is truth for what is truth. I believe that if you as a mailman have managed to find your way to Allah and believe in him and try to enjoin good and forbid evil, you are more intelligent than the lecturer with a phd, that thinks that Islam is not haqq or right. I have learned to calculate people, from how faithful and obedient they are to Islam. Islam doesn`t oppress women. Mostly the wrong culture does. May Allah give all wives help to realize their dream in their life. And make all the muslimah`s resourceful for each other and helping each other prosper. And guide husband to be more supportive of their wife. The sunnah way. Aameen summa aameen.

 

life, thinker, mirror, bonde, dronning, queenTo be able to live a happy life, it is very important for every person to have a good amount of self-esteem within themselves. You have to work with yourself to have a positive balance within you. Whether your male or female. We cannot rely on the sources outside. Others can`t or won`t always cheer us up. We need to nurture our confidence so that it can grow. Of course it gives you a boost that other people think positive thoughts about you. But it won`t last if we don`t feel the same way about ourself. Another point is that people whom have low self-esteem don`t always validate or believe other people`s praise about them. They`re simply to low to feel that there is any good in them.

 

Make a list of achievements on a daily basis

The best way to deal with low self-esteem is to keep a diary of your achievements with you through the whole day. Here you can write three things you have achieved per day, and your mood, by the side of it. For example, today I managed to get an A on the x exam. It made me feel intelligent and I know i earned it because of my hard work the weeks before it. Mood : Smart/Happy/Intelligent/Diligent, etc. By doing this you will slowly start to rebuild confidence.

 

To much ain`t good either

Just like it isn`t good to have low self-esteem, it isn`t seen as a good thing to be over-confident either. We need to be balanced and be in touch with reality.  I know I have done this before, but that doesn`t mean that I will be able to do this. No one likes bragging over-confident people. What attracts others is humility and people whom have their feet planted on the ground. By knowing your potential and the fact that we can all err at sometime, you will be in touch with the real you. We must not blind our vision by always thinking positive, but we must also know the reality, and whether a goal is achievable or not.

 

There is always room for improvement

If you have low self-esteem it is important that you keep writing three positive achievements a day, for about three to five months. After that you can try to come with suggestions on how you can improve yourself. Like for instance, one suggestion a day about how you can improve a certain conduct in yourself. It is very important that you don`t start with this before you have build your self-esteem to a certain extent that you don`t end up with a negative balance. It`s about being positive but at the same time having the insight that there are certain  things I can do better. There is always room for improvement. No one is perfect. Knowing this and keeping it in mind, whenever we fail, would help us to dust of the negativity and at the same time we give ourself chances to improve, with suggestions like, next time I`ll meet that situation like this or that.

 

You can`t stop setbacks, only how you deal with them

The most important thing is that we will have setbacks and things that happen in our lives that can be totally negative a day/week/month. The best thing is that on these rainy days you take out your diary and read the achievements you have been writing for some time. That would boost you enough to bounce back into a positive mood. You will realize that even though I messed up today/this week/this month, I have done a lot of good things that weigh more than these “incidents”. You will find inner strength and feel less dependent on your surrounding, spouse, family to cheer you up.

 

Low self-esteem in spouse

When one of the spouses in a relationship has low self-esteem, believe me, the couple will go through some tough times, until they work on themselves. It can be very difficult to be positive and have a wonderful relationship, if one or both of the spouses is always negative. To turn this around, both should keep a diary of their achievements. If you know your spouse is dealing with this, do not critisize him/her.  Especially not in front of others, be it children, parents or siblings. Also don`t think that this is not a male-issue. This can happen to both genders. What is important is that both are mature enough to see where they lack and being willing to work on it. Sometimes it is hard to be true to your spouse, because you know he/she can be hurt about it. So instead of saying, you do this or that, say lets do this together, both of us. Realization is important, and willing to make a difference. Another thing is that even if you have a positive balance today, doesn`t mean it will always be like that. Negative things can happen at any time. We can never be safe from that. But if we ourselves are strong, we will handle them better in a way that we bounce back to our positive attitude if we have worked on it.

 

You can never be too late for this

The right time is now. You can never be too late/too old/too young. Even if you are in your teens, student, married, single, parent. Know that when you have worked on this for some time you will feel a positive change in how you think, and be able to handle the ups and the downs in your life. Keep a positive track for about 3-5 months and after that start with one thing you can improve about yourself daily. Don`t start with the improvement list to early, before you have a positive account. How much time you need can be individual. You know when your ready for it. The best way to find inner strength is to be your own best friend. Only than you are able to have healthy relationship, be it family, spouse or friends. Your self-esteem will remain and increase regardless of your surrounding. You will become more positive and believe in your own abilities. You will come to know yourself, your strenghts/weaknesses. You will become a better version of yourself. What can be better than that? Try it for a month, and see how it changes your life for the better.

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My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

Poetry

(“,) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (“,)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

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