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love between spouse, sunnahIt is good to see that the community has seen the value of educating people before they get married to make sure that they are familiar to their responsibilities and their rights. Alhamdolillah. That is a great start. I feel that we need dig a bit deeper into the issue of marriage. To get a better result we must start earlier. First of all. Most of parents are not aware of the rights their children have to choose their own spouse, and mostly the relatives put many roadblocks in their way, if they don`t want two people to join in marriage. To give back the two individuals right to marriage, we must also educate their parents and their relatives, meaning the elders. Mostly whom has a twisted interpretations of Islam, and therefore also the practice.

The Struggle Is Real

If the mosque could have dars for parents that have children who are in their teens, it would help them understand, what kind of struggle teens have. We need to help parents understand that it is not easy for them to live here in the west and still stay pure. Parents can use the life of Sahaba to educate the teens on how they lived their life and what is expected from them according to Islam. Practice what they preach. Sadly most parents spend their time on matters that are pretty un-islamic. Teens learn love from the media, bollywood, hollywood and dramas, and think that they portray the right kind of love. WHen in fact they are not even near it. If the teens are taught about love through the lives of Prophet pbuh and Sahaba raa they will be educated in what could give them a more fulfilling and lasting marriage.

Asking For Trouble

If we want to get to the root of the problem, that is the parents and the community. If they have right values and live and act according to Islam, they will teach the same values to their children, through their life. Not just what they say or what image they have in their community. In most families the relatives wants to have a say when two families are thinking of marriage for their children. The chacha of fla fla is against it. Or the khallla of fla fla feels the same. Parents are also pressurized from the community and don`t know what to do. When in fact it is not the whole community that decides this. The people who want to get married doesn`t have a right to choose their spouse freely. When they meet so many roadblocks on the way. The elders are asking for trouble. Not only are they making it difficult for the ones that want to get married, to live a pure life, they are also increasing fitna by not accepting the good spouse that asking for their child in marriage. And most of all, I don`t understand how the alims or the mosque can close their eyes to this. Do they not know? Or maybe they agree to it. The culture is given precedence over religion. And that will make it more difficult for muslims to be true and sincere muslims.

Who Is To Blame?

It is to easy to put the blame on the spouses when a marriage fails. It is the fault of the community and their parents. What values they taught them from they were children and if they helped them follow Islam from them leading by example. It is the communities fault that they have not educated the parents. It is the parents fault that they have not taught the spouses their rights and obligations. When culture is more important than religion, we will have more trouble. We must get back to Islam not only by speech. That is where we will find blessings and everlasting happiness.

status of women in islamI vesten er det et vanlig syn blant de fleste mennesker at kvinner skal ha de samme rettighetene som menn. Dr Zakir Naik har holdt et foredrag om kvinners rettigheter i islam, hvor han sa at kvinner er biologisk, fysiologisk og emosjonelt annerledes enn menn, så hvordan kan de ha den samme rollen i et samfunn som menn da. Å si likestilling blir helt feil, man kan heller bruket ordet likeverd.

For noen titall år siden ble det diskutert hvorvidt kvinner hadde en sjel, mens i Islam ble det for 1300 år siden fortalt via Koranen at kvinner og menn har sjel og er likeverdige. Kvinner har 3 ganger så masse høyere verd enn menn. En av profetens venner kom til profeten Muhammad (pbuh) og spurte profeten; hvem har mest krav på meg? Profeten svarte tre ganger; din mor, fjerde gangen sa han din far. Det betyr at kvinner har veldig høyt verd i Islam. Ikke minst pga smerten de må gjennom ved å bære frem barn og selve fødselen. Profeten Muhammad (pbuh) har selv sagt at Jannah (paradiset) ligger ved moren din sine føtter.

En annen hadith understreker at dersom en far/bror har en eller flere døtre/søstre og de behandler dem bra og sørger for at de tilegner seg bra verdier og døtrene/søstrene gifter seg, så vil Allah gi han beskyttelse fra ilden etter døden/dommens dag og/eller være grunnen til at han får gå til Paradiset.

I kristendommen tros det på at skylden for at Eva as og Adam as ble kastet ut av paradiset, blir lagt på Eva as. Mens i Islam fikk både Eva as og Adam as delt skyld i samme sak. Kvinner i Islam ble gitt rett til å ha sin egen eiendom og lønnen de får når de arbeider eller driver næringsvirksomhet, kan de bruke på det de måtte ønske. Mannen derimot er nødt for å bruke sin lønn på familien sin, deriblant konen, selv om hun har egen inntekt.  Det forklarer hvorfor menn arver mer enn kvinner, fordi de har forsørgeransvaret i familien som fedre/brødre.

Menn og kvinner i islam er gjetere for hver sin flokk, det betyr at de har ulikt ansvar som de må stå til rette for, og som er begge like viktig for at familien skal fungere. Mannen er familiens overhode, men de er alle teamspillere og teamet vil ikke fungere uten bra samarbeid innad. Kvinnene er mildere og mer følsomme enn menn, dermed er de mer egnet til å ta hoveddelen av oppdragelsen av barna, siden de lettere forstår barnas situasjon i fargen av deres natur.

I islam er kvinnens ære beskyttet. I vesten blir kvinner degradert til objekter som viser frem sin hud for å selge både det ene og det andre. Hvordan kan man si at dette gir kvinnen mer rettigheter i vesten? Før Islam ble kvinner sett på som sex-objekter hvor man ikke trengte å gifte seg med kvinnene men heller ble eid av mennene som ønsket dem. På den tiden kunne kvinner kunne gå i arv bare for at de skulle beholde den formuen hun eide/ hadde tilegnet seg gjennom mannen. Islam ga kvinner rett til å si nei til et ekteskap. Islam fortalte hvem som kunne gifte seg med hverandre, samt hvem som var forbudt for hverandre. Blant annet for å avverge at moren ble gift med nær slektning når “mannen” døde og avverge andre sykelige forhold som fantes i samfunnet på den tiden.

Samtidig er sex i islam sett på som noe veldig skjønt men tilbeholdt innenfor ekteskapet. Allah beskriver i Koranen at ektemannen og konen er sett på som hverandres klær som skal beskytte hverandre og gjemme hverandres feil fra andre. Som hverandres bekledning er de nærmest hverandre. Når kvinner hadde menstruasjon, før Islams tid, ble de sett på som noe urent og djevelsk. Mens i Islam pleide profeten Muhammad (pbuh) å resitere koranen mens han hadde hodet sitt i fanget til sin kone Aisha (raa) selv når hun hadde mensen.

Før Islam hadde mennene mange kvinner, I Islam ble ekteskapet sett på som halve troen og en kontrakt på papiret hvor man må ha vitner. Menn har rett til å gifte seg med inntil fire koner dersom det er enker eller foreldreløse som trenger støtte. Det ble tillatt etter en krig i Islam hvor det var mange enker og som hadde barn som trengte støtte for å ha noen som kunne brødfø dem. Dersom mennene frykter at de ikke ikke skulle greie å behandle alle konene likt, har de ikke lov til å ha flere koner. En person som har flere koner men ikke behandler de likt/rettferdig vil ved dommens dag stå opp med bare halve av sin kropp, Tirmidhi. Samtidig har også Profeten pbuh vist at monogami er også fra hans Sunnah. Når Profeten giftet seg med Khadijah raa, var han kun gift med henne, så lenge hun levde. De levde sammen i ca 25 år.

Vi må skifte fokus fra å snakke om likestilling til å snakke om likeverd. To vesener som er så ulike kan uansett hva vi sier eller gjør,  aldri bli like. Det forventes ulikt fra menn enn fra kvinner. Det er bare kvinner som kan føde barn og de er mer følsomme og emosjonelle enn menn. Derfor blir det mer riktig å snakke om likeverdet mellom de, enn likestilling. Når man begynner å beskrive ordet verd, ser man at Islam gir kvinner mer verd enn menn. Det er også en hadith som sier at dersom folk forstod den virkelige status en kvinne har i Islam, vil selv menn ønske å være en kvinne.

Det er klart at det er vokst frem en ukultur i det muslimske miljøet som undertrykker spesielt kvinner, men også menn. Denne ukulturen er ikke fra religionen og kan også ha sammenheng med at folk ikke praktiserer islam i stor grad, men velger hva de ønsker å praktisere og hva de ønsker å overse. Mens islam egentlig betyr at man skal underkaste seg alle lovene til Allah og ikke bare de som passer en selv.

Mye av ukulturen blant pakistanere stammer også fra dengang hele landet var sammenslått med India. Vi har arvet mye fra India.

En sak som er viktig å understreke er at dersom en person som er norsk gjør noe galt, sier man ikke at alle kristne gjør den og den gale handlingen. Men dersom en pakistaner, eller muslim gjør noe galt, vil man med en gang si at det er det Islam sier. Det er veldig vanlig spesielt i media og vinklingen til journalistene er ofte preget av muslim-/islam-hat.  Dersom et tre har et rottent eple, så vil ikke et intelligent menneske si at det er treets skyld. Alle trær kan ha noen rotne epler. Men når en muslim gjør noe galt, istedet for å se om han er praktiserende eller ikke, vil de uten å blunke si at det er Islam sin skyld.

Journalister vil alltid farge sine artikler etter sine meninger. Men vi som leser disse artiklene bør skaffe oss mer samfunnsforståelse og være mer kritiske til det vi leser. Det er den eneste løsningen på dette. Ikke feie alle over en kam, men vit at akkurat som at det finnes bra og dårlige kristne/jøder, finnes det også bra og dårlig muslimer. Å skylde på Islam, kristendom, jødedom når en muslim, kristen, jøde gjør noe galt, er ikke noe et opplyst samfunn vil gjøre.  Istedet vil de se hans/hennes gjerninger i lys av de verdier han/henne hadde tilegnet seg i løpet av livet. Verdiene til en person kan være preget av flere forhold og ikke nødvendigvis bare religion.

Jeg tror at kvinner har bedre rettighet og verd i islam enn det vesten noen gang kunne gi kvinnen. I Islam er kvinnen sett på noe som man skal beskytte og ikke vise til ethvert menneske. I vesten blir kvinner brukt aktivt i markedsføring på alt fra biler til undertøy. Jeg tenker vi må åpne våre øyne og se at kvinner har mer rett i islam enn det vesten noen gang kan greie å gi. Islam i sin uforandret tilstand beskytter kvinnen, mens samfunnet i vesten degraderer kvinnen.

patience1Allah is so patient with us. We truly are not angels neither are we iblis (satan), though we are sometimes not as patient as we should be. Each and every person has either had difficulty in his/her life. How we react to a calamity when it strikes is what tells us whether we have sabr (patience) in us or not. If we are patient, than surely Allah is with the patient.

We don`t obey Allah`s rules, yet He grants us our wishes. People say He has begotten a son, when He is high above all that, yet they have a “good” life. People set partners to Him in worship, yet he grants what they ask of Him. Of course no person can be like Allah, but still think about it. Only He can have this much patience to His beings, that He gives respite to them, that maybe they will find their way back to Him, after sinning or disobeying Him in any way. Our mother might be like that even if we are the meanest ever, she would love us. Allah loves us more than 7 times more than our mother. It is impossible to understand how much love He has for us. Maybe the reason why he gives us respite all the time is that He loves us so much that he wants us to be with Him in Paradise.

When anyone wrongs us we want to make them be accountable for that at the very moment. Yet Allah has given every person respite til The Judgment Day. Even then He has promised that  he will be the best Judge and be just in everything He Decides. Not an atoms weight of in-justice will be done that Day. He is watching people who take advantage of the rules in the world, people who are killing other innocent children and women, yet He is giving them respite. They may have gotten away by being evil in this world, but not in the Hereafter. Then they will be punished for every evil thing they have done in this world. Our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)is the best example in being forgiving, when he forgave the people who killed some of his close relatives and mutilated the body. When she accepted Islam, he (pbuh) forgave her. These are the manners that he derived from the Quran. And what are we doing today, when brothers and sisters don`t forgive close relatives at all after minor mistakes. Even if they were big mistakes, haven`t we hear that if we won`t forgive other people, how can we accept that Allah will forgive us on the Day when the reckoning is going to be established. The Prophet has said that the person whom doesn`t forgive his brother when  he asks for forgiveness, will not be given the drink from The Fountain Kawthar on the Day of Judgment from our Prohpet (pbuh) and he does not want to see his face (that day there).

victoryIf Allah has such high thoughts about His creation, that we can exceed the angels, let us at least give it a shot and try to obey Him and live by his rules. Next time when something negative happens in your life, try to think about the fact that with patience comes victory. If you are not going to live by the rules set by Allah how can we expect Him to give us Paradise. And also remember that some people he tries by withholding, other people he tries by giving. And as a dai once said: ” Every blessing comes in pair of two, because with every blessing there is also a test”. If someone is given something and you become jealous of it, try to think that it is also a test with that blessing”. Don`t just look at the blessing and forget the test. Allah gives and gives to people who are content and grateful to Him, if you are like that than surely you will be of those that receive blessings in their life and their Hereafter and that is the eternal bliss.

jannah“No person earns any (sin) except against himself (only) and no bearer of burdens shall bear the burden of another”. (Quran 6:164).

Tafsir ibn Kahteer: Thus emphasizing Allah`s reckoning, decision and justice that will occur on the Day of Resurrection. The souls will only be recompensed for their deeds, good for good and evil for evil. No person shall carry the burden of another person, a fact that indicates Allah`s perfect justice.

In another ayat Allah says:

“And if one heavily laden calls another to bear his load, nothing of it will be lifted even though he be near of kin”.
(Quran 35:18).

But one the other hand:

“Every person is a pledge for what he has earned. Except those on the right”. (Quran 74:38-39).

Tafsir ibn Katheer: every person will be tied up to his evil deeds. But, for those on the right – the believers – the blessing of their good works will benefit their offsprings and relatives, as well. Allah said in Surah At-Tur:

“And those who believe and whose offspring follow them in faith, to them shall We join their offspring, and We shall not decrease the reward of their deeds in anything”. (Quran 52:21).

Tafsir ibn Katheer: We shall elevate their offspring to their high grades in Paradise, even though the deeds of the offspring were less righteous, since they shared faith with them in its general form. Allah says we did not decrease the grades of those (their offspring and relatives) who have lesser grades, can share the same grades as them. Rather Allah elevates the lesser believers to the grades of their parents by the blessing of their parents good works, by His favour and bounty.

Source: Tafsir ibn kahteer.

Bryllup m tekstMarriage is important in Islam, it keeps you far away from everything that is haraam. There are two kinds of marriages forced marriages or arranged marriages. Most of us think that Asians are forced in marriages that they don`t want to be in. Even if that happens it is not a part of our religion it is rather the culture we live in that these traditions arise from. Most of these marriages end in tragedies.

There is no recipe for what a perfect marriage is. Every marriage is different from the other. But there are somethings one can do to make sure that the people who are getting into this bond are willingly to  make the sacrifice it needs. It is important that their opinion is asked about the matter. Forced marriage are not arranged marriages. A forced marriage is when one or both of the pair are forced to marry someone they don`t want to marry. Their parents or maybe some relatives are forcing them in saying “yes” to the decision. Arranged marriages is when the pairs decision is asked for and they are given a chance to say “no”  and stop the marriage, if they for any reason doesn`t want to marry. They also get a chance to know each other before marriage to know if they are compatible. The family finds the spouse and they arrange the whole marriage after the children’s consent.

It is very important that the parents put time and effort in asking their child if they want to marry this person or not before they proceed with the marriage. It is sure that if one or both of the pair are forced into a marriage, it would easily fail, and could end up in a divorce. Some years before even if the pairs decision wasn`t asked for the marriage didn`t end in divorce. The reason behind this is that the pair even if they where living in a hell, didn`t want it to end in divorce. Maybe because the bond between the relatives would have dissolved with the divorce. This happens especially in cousin-marriages.

Forced marriages are un-Islamic. The Prophet has made it obligatory to ask for the decision of the people getting married. Imam Bukhari has reported from Al-Khansa bint Khidaam:

” My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah. He (pbuh) said to me: “Accept what your father has arranged”. I said: “I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged”. He (pbuh) said: “Then this marriage is invalid and marry whomever you wish”. I said: “I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter`s matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them”.

It is very important for parents to understand that when they recieve the blessing of a girl as their child the door opens to jannah in one case. If they treat her well she could open the door to jannah, if they don`t she could be the reason why they are thrown into hell. Abu Hurayra (ra) reported that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said:

“Whomever has three daughters, and shelter them, bearing their joys and sorrows with patience, Allah will admit him/her to Paradise by virtue of his/her compassion towards them. A man asked: “What if one has only two, O Messenger of Allah?”.  He(pbuh) said: “Even if they are only two”. Another man asked: “What if one has only one, O Messenger of Allah?”. He (pbuh) said: “Even if one has only one”.

The Prophet (pbuh) has said the same about sisters as well as daughters. A hadith in Bukhari told by Abu Saeed al-Khudri, said that the Messenger of Allah said:

“There is no one who has three daughters or three sisters, and he treats them well, but Allah will admit him to Paradise”.

Sometimes other non-muslims get confused in what Islam really is, because they look at other people who are practising it. Those muslims are often not the most great muslim of our time. Some of them are following some cultural rules of living that are totally un-islamic. Since they are muslim and they themselves think those rules are a part of Islam, other non-muslims also think that. So people get a distorted look at what Islam really is. It is better for non-muslims to not look at other muslims but rather go to the source of Islam, which is the holy book of Quran and hadith books with the Sunnah of our Prophet. Then they will learn what Islam really is.

If every parent or wali want their children to be happily married they have to ask for the consent of their children before they marry them. Be it a guy or a woman, both`s consent should be taken. I can`t understand those parents whom marry their children within their families just because they will get some personal benefit from it. They should rather look at what is best for their son or daughter and what will make them happy and their marriage last a lifetime and for eternity in jannah. I hope this cultural rule will vanish within years because of the new generations that are growing up are aware of this issue and don`t pressurize their children the same way as their parents has done, because they know better, in sha Allah.

Check out and click on site www . Purify Your Gaze . com

https://purifyyourgaze.com/

My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

Poetry

(“,) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (“,)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

Når du er forent med en
du elsker, er det ingenting
du ikke klarer :)

Gode ord skaper tillit.
Gode tanker skaper
Inderlighet. God
giverglede skaper
kjærlighet:)

Mood :)

Content.