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siblings, brother, sister, sur, little brotherHaving children is a great blessing for parents. To pass on the legacy of Islam to another generation that will live Islam. Often both parents prefer sons over daughters. Mainly because they think that they will be the most supportive because they become providers too. They have forgotten that Prophet Muhammad pbuh`s legacy was passed on by his daughter Fatima raa.

 

Pray For Piousness

Parents shouldn`t focus on the gender of the child, but rather praying for it to be a good muslim/muslimah. Praying for pious children even before marriage shows that you are responsible and worried about their Hereafter. Instead of competing in numbers or a specific gender, rather be motivated to increase the quality of upbringing. We don`t always know whether a son will be more valuable than a daughter. Allah is going to send tribulations through our sustenance. We will meet both difficulties and ease. Thinking that those who have daughters are less blessed is wrong. Most parents realize later in life that daughters are a greater blessing. Mostly because of their softheartedness and emotional intelligence they take better care of their family/parents, compared to their sons.

 

Practice Equality In Giving

Often people with children from both genders, prefer the son more than the daughter. Prophet Muhammad pbuh was once sitting with some sahaba when one sahabi`s daughter came and she seated herself beside him. A while after his son came, he kissed him and let him sit on the lap. When the Prophet pbuh saw this he said that we can`t treat our children differently, but they should be treated equally. If you give a gift to one, the gift has to be given the other siblings. If not they will be questioned about that on the Day of Judgement. When Fatima raa visited Prophet Muhammad pbuh, he pbuh would kiss her hand and let her have his pbuh seat. She would return the gesture to him pbuh, when he pbuh visited her. He pbuh was also helpful in the house. Even if times have changes some men doesn`t help as much as they should. Learning about the sunnah might motivate men to do more.

 

When Allah withholds A Gift

It is Allah whom chooses sons for some and daughter for others. We can`t complain to Him and question His Wisdom behind the decision. Whatever Allah gives us, be grateful in good times and show patience in difficult times. There will be both. The happiest people are those who are content with the little they are blessed with. Being happy with the decree of Allah shows our dependency and trust in Him. He is the one in Control. We can draw a comparison through the lesson where a child is in his mother’s lap and wants to touch the fire. The mother knows that if he touches the fire, he will burn himself. The child doesn`t know that. The mother because of the love for her child, will keep him away from the fire. It is the same with every blessing. Sometimes Allah withholds something from us because He think something can hurt us through it. Other time He withholds to give us a bigger gift or to purify us and raise our status before we are given a gift.

 

Every Child Is Precious

Be fair to your children and express your love to them often.  Make them feel loved, so they are not misled by people. Fill their bucket of confidence. Don`t hesitate to motivate them when they are down, or gently correct them when they need to be advised. Teach them good values to make them a contribute for the Ummah and their community. Through your efforts in their early years they can be a sadqah jariyah for you. Most of all treat them equally. Sibling rivalry can easily be controlled if the parents are fair between them and each child gets quality time alone with parents, so they don`t feel neglected. The other siblings won`t get jealous of the love they are giving. Gently advising them privately is the best way of getting any changes in their behaviour that can be improved for the future.

 

188983_10151478508729496_344954689_nYou never know how your positive encouragement can help people. Just because one of the youths you know are misbehaving in any way, it does not imply that they will always be like that. It is our responsibility to look for the good in others and encourage them to improve themselves. Just because a person is having trouble of some kind in their young age is not a hinder for them to later on in their life, become succesful. I`m sure you have heard about a hadith, where our Prophet Muhammad pbuh says: “In the last years before judgement there will be people whom start their life as good people but later become bad people, and some that starts their life as bad people but later get guided from above. We do not know what kind of death a person will have. So it is extremely important that we understand and emphasize when talking to the youth that no matter how much a person messes up, the door to get back to Allah is always open, as long as they are breathing they can change for the better. We should never lose hope.

 

Teacher of Life
Often we see that people give naseeha to youngster in a way that instead of making them better makes them go beyond what is wrong. It is very important that we think well through what we say and how we say it and our body language matches what we are saying. The generations of our parents had different upbringing than us. Most of them were taught good manners even though they didn`t have the most degrees. They had the teacher of life and more respect towards teachers, elders, and knowledgable people like Imams. Now we see that these things are diminishing in our society. For starters we are living in an un-islamic society here in the West. A society that proclaims values that doesn`t match our values. It is a free society where the religion is often seen as something private, and often not allowed to practice in public areas. Like for instance it is forbidden to use niqab in some schools or public areas in some countries in the West.

 

Education about marriage before marriage

We see that our parents marry their children in a very young age without giving them proper education about how a marriage works and how one raises children. We often seen that a lot of young muslim parents living abroad lose their children to the childcare system. Mostly because their way of children’s upbringing collides with the rules in the country they live in. In Norway we see an increasing number of young parents where they have been reported to the childcare, because of this. We are the biggest losers in this, because some of the times, the children that are taken away from their families in an early age, are not taught the values that we stand for.

 

Children mature earlier now

It is very important for the dai`s in today`s society to explain to parents how to give naseeha to youngster. When our parents where kids, their parents told them do this or don`t do that and they listened to them. Nowadays children are more intelligent than at that time. Mostly because of that they are exposed to technology in an early age and the society they live in the west, teach a lot of things very early. To make these kids understand why you can do something and why you can`t is not that easy if you don`t know how to speak to them. Often you have to talk to them with respect. You have to explain why these things are good/bad for them, with real life examples so they can comprehend it. You have to talk with them like you are on the same level. I have read once that when you want to stop your child that is to years old, you should sit down so that you are both at the same height and look into his/her eyes and say what you want to say when you have his fully attention. That is because you want him/her to think like you are on the same level. The same goes to young adults.

 

Give naseeha privately

When you talk with youngsters, talk with the right intention of wanting them to change, without looking down at them. After all it can all be an misunderstanding. We only see through our personal glasses that are made of our values. The youngsters intentions could have been something else. Choose the right timing. Hate the deed, not the person. Give naseeha privately, so you don`t emberass them in front of other family members or their friends or even a stranger. The youth is in such a delicate age when they have to find out about a lot of things, like who they are and what they`re identity is and what they want to do with their life. At the same time all these different kinds of feeling are in them which they have to understand. They are in a very tender age, and need extra care. The last they would need is an adult that looks down on them, is too strict, and tells them what to do without explaining why it is good for them. Last but not least, come with real pointers about how they can stop something or begin with something. Give them the recipe for it from A to Z. Use humour in a way they would understand to catch their attention and use it as a medicine.

 

Conclusion

If you follow these tools, than in sha Allah, you will make a difference in their life. It is very important to understand the people one is giving advice to, rather than being to enthusiastic and give it in the wrong way. It all could boil down to them change for the better or make them even worse than before. It is very important that we are wise in the tools we use. May Allah help us help others. Ameen summa ameen.

dont look down on othersNo one is perfect. Each and every person has some good qualities and some bad qualities in them. Some has more of the good and less of the bad, other have the other way around. What it boils down to is that sometimes you see some person doing something you dislike. You know the person has so much potential and can really do a lot better than that, all he/she needs is a little guidance from some brother or sister. Than you need to talk to that person somehow. If you can and you want to help, you should of course give it a try, but only with the right intention backing you up.

 

Are you superior?

If for instance you are correcting someone just to show your own superiority over that person, in a way you are saying, you have these and these faults, I am so much better that you, do that like this or that, it most probably won`t help that person. You cannot look down on other people you want to correct. If you do that, and they find out, by the attitude you are dealing with them, they most probably won`t listen to you. You need to in some way let them understand that you are here to help, because they have so much potential, if it is used right, can move mountains.


Positivity boost

A lot of us may sometimes need a push in the right direction from time to time. You need to fill them with positive boost, once in a while. That can make them see that even one voice can make a difference.

 

Check your intentions

One thing is for sure, if you don`t have the right intention of helping and are looking for personal gain, than the intention is what will either count it as a good deed or not. If you sincerely want to help, than let other people whom may be down see that they are human beings with a lot of worth and good values but haven`t gotten the right push from their surroundings so that they also can blossom and become a rose. They need to develop a sence of self-worth. That their opinions are important and that they can make a difference.

 

Correct mistakes privately

Another important thing is that you cannot correct a person in public. If you do that the person most probably won`t listen to you ever again. Whenever you want to correct someone respect them, do it privately, so that they don`t feel that you are telling the whole world about their faults. There is not a person out there whom doesn`t have some good and bad characteristics in them.This is something people learn from a very young age. That when their parents want to correct them they don`t do it in front of guests. Or that your spouse doesn`t correct you in front of their family. Or that your friends don`t talk ill of you in front of others. Especially when they think they are behaving funny. No one can have fun on some others extent. That is wrong. Don`t laugh at someone but rather laugh with someone.

 

Balance the negative with something positive

One more thing is that sometimes the young generation might want to correct an elder, how should one do that? One should try to speak in a way that, you tell the person a positive thing about them and then a less positive, so it balances up. If you always come with the negative and never say anything positive than the balance would be rather negative and the person would become upset. There is not one person out there whom doesn`t have anything good about them. We and I`m counting in myself, need to become better in finding the positive things in people when we talk to them.

 

Positive people have a bigger responsibility

People with positive surroundings may not find this that difficult, so they have a bigger responsibility to share the positivism more. They will only gain in this. Because it`s always like this that what you give to other you get back one way or the other, if you spread positivity than that would come back to you one day, inshaAllah ameen.

 

We can make a difference

Let`s join in hands to single out the faults and spread positivity and try to lit up a sad soul, that needs someone to talk to, without bringing them down. It`s not always the youth that need this the most, sometimes it could also be some of the elders in the family as well.

Check out and click on site www . Purify Your Gaze . com

https://purifyyourgaze.com/

My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

Poetry

(“,) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (“,)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

Når du er forent med en
du elsker, er det ingenting
du ikke klarer :)

Gode ord skaper tillit.
Gode tanker skaper
Inderlighet. God
giverglede skaper
kjærlighet:)

Mood :)

Content.