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Every hijabi girl or woman is struggling with this. How can I feel beautiful, at the same time, win the struggle of perfecting my hijab. Most men look for beauty in a woman. If both men and women were taught how and what beauty actually is, this struggle wouldn`t have been so damaging for the society/community.

Value Real Beauty In Others

Here in Norway, we see a great diversity of hijabi women and girls. Many of them has a zahiri correct hijab. And many also deviate from the whole concept, and fall into the faults of hijab that goes against it`s meaning. When women wear hijab, that attracts attention, they are not honouring it. Make-up, strong colors, camel-hump style, tight clothing, and see-through-fabric. All these matters, make them attractive to other men and boys. If we could teach our girls, what beauty is. And help them to value it in other people. We can help them in this fight. Their hijab is supposed to hide their beauty, not their beauty more prominent.

hijab-for-husband-beauty-for-dunya-or-oppositeHusbands: Re-assure Your Wife Often

Most women doesn`t know what beauty is. They work on their looks, every day. Looking beautiful is not the same as feeling beautiful. If they knew how beautiful good values, good conduct, good character, good manners, integrity is, they would try to increase their effort in cultivating these qualities in them and their children. That is what the sunnah of Hazoor Paak pbuh, has taught us. The right hijab for a woman or girl, wouldn`t have been such a big issue, if the men, those who will become a muslim husband, were also taught, what beauty actually is. The women, adores themselves for their husband. If men would appreciate their wife, when she beautified herself for him, she would probably put more effort in it. If the dear husband, helped their wife feel beautiful, she wouldn`t look for the reassurance other places. Like when she step out of her home. When wives in general doesn`t feel beautiful and aren`t certain about their beauty, they beautify themselves. That would attract attention, to confirm what they want to hear. That they are beautiful. If there husband doesn`t help them find this. They try to find it outside home.

She Always Finds Something Negative About Herself

A right size model, beautiful, can think that she is ugly. Not because she is comparing herself to others. But she is looking for perfection in what she is seeing on the outside. I want no pimples. No fat. Right color of hair. Always wearing make-up. If anyone saw her, they would be amazed by her outer appearance. But her friends knows. She has low self-esteem and confidence. No matter how beautiful she looks, she always find something negative in it. Negative self-talk. If she would instead cut time she spends on her outside for so many hours daily, and instead spend half an hour on building her self-esteem and self-confidence regularly. She would feel beautiful. She would have a positive attitude about herself. Easily forgive. No matter how much weight she will gain, she will think good of herself. She would know her strengths and weaknesses. She would have self-insight about herself, and become self-empovering. If parents helped young girls, and build them up from the inside, no matter how people talked about their appearance, they would be confident within themselves. When people understand how to feel beautiful, they work more on those matters, because it releases positive energy. It`s no more about, I want to look good anymore. It`s about I want to do good deeds, because that makes me feel good. Real beauty is not about those who heart eyes, with their beauty, it`s about those who melt hearts with their good and decent conduct. These people change hearts. They can make a difference.

wife-beautify-yourself-for-your-husband-muslim-showHusbands And Wives Duties And Rights

From the time a girl is young, she is looking forward to one day find a man and get married. Many girls and women want to wear hijab, but are afraid whether that will hinder them from finding a spouse, in their future. This is why it is important for the entire muslim community, in every country, to teach their boys and men, what beauty is. Help them understand the beauty of how good righteous women, can help them achieve great work for Islam, by supporting them in their way for Islam. Male find comfort in their wife, that rejuvenate them to get closer to Allah. Maybe that is why Allah said the best joy for a muslim man, is having a righteous wife. She will help him do good. Comfort him, and motivate him, to do more. In the journey of having a good relationship with her husband, every wife must understand, the necessary of the wife adoring herself for her husband. When she will put some effort in this for her marriage, it will make it easier for the husband, to lower his gaze and keep himself pure. Other women will make less fitnah for her husband, because he is being fulfilled with what he needs, from his wife. This sunnah, is often ignored by many wives. They don`t keep themselves clean in the house. Or beautify themselves only for their husband’s sake. This causes damage to their husbands, whom are really hungered when they step out every day. In the west, when men go outside for work, they can easily get attracted to other females, because of the fitnah of how they beautify themselves. Nowadays, even a muslimah without hijab and with hijab can be a fitnah for a muslim man. When the wifes hungers their husbands, and they meet these sights outside their home, I can understand, what kind of difficulty this must cause for their life. If both the wife and husband, dig in their goodwill towards each other, and starts to do the work they are needed to keep each other fulfilled, many troubles can be minimized or sorted out. And the couple and the family could enjoy a more blessed and barakah full life.

A Summarized List To Remember Always:

1. Help children boys and girls understand the beauty of good conduct, good deeds, helping hands for those less fortunate.
2. Parents build the self-esteem and confidence of their children, boys and girls.
3. Every wife, beautify yourself unconditionally for your husband only
4. Every husband, appreciate your wife unconditionally, shower on her love. When she feels beautiful, she would do more to look beautiful.
5. When every marriage is fulfilling the need of the husband and wife, they will be rejuvenated to do much more. This will help the wife fulfil her duty of hijab, and the husband to lower his gaze when he steps outside. Happy and good parents raise great children.

Protect Your Marriage = Protect Your Community

If we are able to raise children who know what beauty is, and confident about themselves, they will be a positive contributor for both muslim and non-muslim community in your country. There is a reason why some male, men and boys, stand on the corner of many places in most countries, even islamic countries. When every wife and husbands spends time on protecting their marriage, it also protect other marriages. Every man or woman, who has to step outside, and is not fulfilled from the home, will easier fall into fitnah. It doesn`t have to be a affair. It can be media, pictures, programmes etc. These people can cause trouble for other marriages. That is why every married ummati, must fulfil their duties upon their spouse, and not only talk about what rights they have. Ya Allah, protect every marriage, for every ummati til the end of time. Help every spouse fulfil their duties towards their spouse and children. Help us understand what beauty is. How to cultivate the beauty of character in ourself, and our family. Help us correct our shortcomings. Aamen summa aamen.

Picture courtesy : the muslim show.

wrong and right.In some countries eating with your hands is seen as something good and normal. In other societies it is seen as abnormal to eat without cutlery. Societies and countries have made their written and un-written rules about what they see as normal. Something that is common in some societies is seen as backwards or illegal in other societies.

In many countries smoking cigarettes is seen as normal.

In fact if people attend a gathering and they don`t smoke or drink in that gathering, they are seen as backwards or old-fashioned. Even though we all know that smoking is hazardous to our health. It`s even done major campaigns to help people get motivated to stop. Drinking is also seen as a norm. You can`t have fun without it. The people who attend a party and doesn`t drink, do not know how to have fun. Though the police often talk about drunk teenagers being in a really bad condition after going home from a party. Drinking leads to many bad things, nothing good comes from it. Even though drinking is seen as normal, and anyone who doesn`t drink is seen as abnormal.

In some countries it seen as normal to have children outside of marriage.

Though we know that most children that grow up with one parent, doesn`t get the proper up-bringing a couple can give. Though it is seen as normal, even if it leads to people with many problems in the society. It is not good for a child to not have both parents with them. Or to have to have a father or a mother. A father can never take the whole role of a mother and the mother can never take the whole role of a father in a child’s life. The father and the mother complete each other and give their children the love, nurture, care and provide for them better when they have each other. Therefore same-gender parents are not good for the children. Even though in some countries it is seen as normal. Again the norm of the society makes something that is bad for the children, allowed. If the child grows up without knowing who their parent is, that is also detrimental for those individuals.

We know that weapons and knives can harm

We know that it is not good for all people to have weapons. We know that people can get killed and injured. Even when it can be an accident. We know out of numbers and incidents that in America there are many deaths because it is easy to buy weapons. Many people harm other because of it. It is not good for the society. Using weapons and showing off with them, is seen as cool and normal. Though we know it can take a life. We say we don`t want more wars, but many countries are earning lots of millions because they are selling weapons to other countries. This is seen as normal. I know your going to mis-use the weapons I`m selling you, but just because I need to earn that money, I don`t “mind” that you take as many lives as you want with it? Is this normal for you? We are talking authorities here. Not ordinary people. Authorities that maybe sitting in some peace congregation and promoting peace for all. But are they really, really working for it or against it? Being biased is seen as normal. That is not normal to me. These weapons take lives. A life in Pakistan or Syria is just as much worth as a life in Britain, Russia or America. When we are making it easy for other to kill other people, we are not working for the peace we were promoting in the congregation of UN or work for betterment for children or mothers like UNICEF promotes.

The average people has talked about someone in their absence

I guess over 70% of people backbite others. It is seen as normal in most societies today. If you are of those people whom dislike it, you would probably avoid social gatherings. Most socializing involves talking behind some people. If you don`t you are seen as a bore, whom doesn`t have anything to entertain with. When in fact a person whom is talking about others life, is indirect saying that my life is so boring, that I need to tell you about another person so that you would want to talk with me. The best people are those who talk about ideas and have healthy discussions that does not involving in talking bad about other people. Talks that are meaningful and bring out good, motivates and inspires.

It is not normal until it is good for you

We know that smoking, drinking, buying weapon, mixing without marriage, backbiting is bad for us. If the society and its people set a norm that is bad for the people, why is it seen as normal, when it makes ab-normal people. This has everything to do with humanity and wanting what is best for each other. We don`t need to be christian, jew, hindu, atheist or a muslim to know that all of these matters are harmful for our well-being. I can`t understand the fact that the community can legalize anything that is harming its citizens. It is not ok. And it is not normal. We need to define what is good, as normal. Don`t let people with wrong values decide what normal is to you, just because a lot of people are indulging in it. Right is right even if only one person is doing it. Wrong is wrong even if the whole community has “legalized” it. We want to normalize as norms, what is good for our  hearts, souls and bodies to build healthy people and good communities for muslims and non-muslims where we live.

positive parents, children, upbringingGood and bad health is in the hands of our Creator. There is also something we have in our hands to change the situation. Many people know the right of the parents and talk and praise those who treat them well. Though we need to talk more about how parents should treat their children also. Their childhood shape them for their adulthood. If we want them to be good contributors as adults, we nee to know how to mould them into what we want them to become. I have a few thoughts about this, I would like to share.

Children Above Their Age

Children need to learn the parents rights. The parents also should be aware of the children’s rights. If a childs` opinion is validated, and their parents make them feel like they can contribute to the conversation, even with their little intellect at the moment. They would be able to, see with amazement, that many times children say words that are above their age, and good for the conversation. It is the parents that build the childs` confidence in the beginning. Just like any spouse want un-divided attention, children also need a good dose of positive attention, love, care and nurture from their parents. If the parents are able to show this in a good way, they help build healthy people who are an asset for the community and the people they interact with.

parents recognize childrens abilites and efforts,Don`t Downplay Their Abilities

It is so easy to for a parent to say to a child, don`t be disrespectful. Though the parents must also realize that if you treat he/she with respect, and teach them how to behave in a good way, with encouragement, they will. If the only way to get any attention is when children does something wrong, of course, the child that need validation, would do anything for it. To bring out good qualities in our children, we must comment positively and take out time to listen to them and reason with them, to help them think good. Not only teaching them what to think, but how to think right. Don`t downplay their abilities. That is where they learn to downplay their own abilities, in their relations as adults. At the time a child is born, it is like a white sheet. Whatever it becomes and how it behaves depends on the values that are cultivated in him/her. The parents need to realize their responsibilities before it is too late. Encourage your children and see them blossom. Build confidence and self-esteem while keeping them humble and filled with humility and gratefulness. Knowing that good would not happen to them without the will and help of Allah and hard work. When they don`t win the game, appreciate their efforts, because they worked hard. We need to raise children that will be good for the community, muslims and non muslims, but most importantly, good for Islam. May Allah help all elders and children value and respect each other and fulfil their rights and obligations towards each other in a sunnah way and help them become resourceful for the community and to each other.

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My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

Poetry

(“,) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (“,)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

Når du er forent med en
du elsker, er det ingenting
du ikke klarer :)

Gode ord skaper tillit.
Gode tanker skaper
Inderlighet. God
giverglede skaper
kjærlighet:)

Mood :)

Content.