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fitnaHave you heard about, a young sahabi, whom saw a naked woman doing ghusl, and been so guilty of it, and cried for a long time, until he died of it. Not only ashamed of the action, but by the fear of Allah, how Allah will punish him. This was a young sahabi named Tha‘labah ibn ‘Abd ar-Rahmaan of the time of Prophet Muhammad pbuh.

Don`t Walk Near The Pit-falls

We know that times are changing. This time is filled with fitnah. It is very easy for a child, teen or adult to easily get access to any kind of filth, without their parents, or spouse, knowing. Hazoor Paak pbuh has said, in the time when the sahabi lived, Allah expected more from muslims when it comes to good deeds and quality. Because they were many, it was easier to do good deeds, with good quality. Hazoor Paak pbuh, said the time will come when holding to your deen is like holding to a coal of fire. Allah will expect less of the muslim, because it is very difficult for muslims to do deeds with good quality in times of fitnah. So no, we can`t excpect us muslim to be as good as the muslims of the sahabi era, but Allah doesn`t tell us to give up. We must struggle. Allah rewards us according to our struggle, niyah and ikhlas. So we must try to find ways that can help each other to remove pitfalls, so we can protect our own home and every muslim from the ummah, who is listening.

Your Charges Are Dropped, If You Marry Who You Raped

There is a country with many muslims. In that country, when a man rapes another woman, if he agrees to marry her, he will not get punished by the court. I don`t understand how it is possible that a country can make such rules. I do understand that this can`t be ok for the girl/woman who is raped. First of all, no girl / woman can be ok with marrying someone who doesn`t respect her. Someone who doesn`t respect a “no”. By letting these men of the hook, may put out the fire, but it won`t prevent more men to do the same. Easy way out. We rape her, we marry her for some time and divorce her when we want to. This is not ok. Instead of this rule, that country, should try to change the mindset of the younger teens and men, how to respect a girl/women. You might have other from the same gender in your family? A sister, a mother, a wife, a daughter. We must teach the male gender that they have to work on their self-control. Be in control of themselves in tough times. No matter what a girl, women does or says, nothing can justify a rape, in any way. But the girl and women, need to be responsible with how they behave. We have to be careful how we behave, in front of other men. We can revive the sunnah of modesty in our life.

coal-hand-islamNon-muslims Are Attracted To Modesty In Muslims

Another side of the story, if a muslim girl/woman wears perfume, and goes outside where other non-mahram might be. This is not allowed, because men will experience fitnah. So some people asked a scholar, what if a man puts on perfume? A woman experience fitnah. Then what? Some scholars say the reason this is not applied to men, women don`t stalk men. But men can easily stalk a woman. Time is changing. Here in the west, the husbands, sons, brothers of our family, is a muslim minority. When they step out of their homes, most people they meet at school, college, work are men and women who are non-muslims. Non-muslim women has less barriers to interact with the opposite gender. At the same time single people are increasing in our country. Muslim mens modesty and faith, is very attractive. I`m talking about non-muslim women who are almost always being lusted by others, wherever they are. Many of them who get tired of this, wants to be loved for who they are not what they look like. It is not only a muslims identity to practice modesty, but can be seen in general in asian cultures, no matter what religion. Many non-muslim women easily fall in love with muslim men, because they see in them qualities they hardly find in their own people. So the fear of being stalked by a non-muslim women is not to fare fetched. A non-muslim woman can create more difficulties for muslim men who are in the struggle of correcting their hijab. The struggle becomes more dangerous. You can read any book about the struggle men have when a beautiful women is nearby. They struggle to perfect the hijab, is much more difficult. A readable book: what you need to know about the inner life of men, by shaunti Feldhahn.

Muslim Girls Who Travel Alone

Non-muslim girls and women aren`t the only who make the struggle harder for men. Because of the weak iman in many muslim girls and women, they can easily become a stalker themselves. Nowadays, it`s not seen as difficult, for a group of muslim girls/ women to go for a vacation without any mahram. Many travel only with their female friends to many countries. If a muslim girl can take the airplane to scotland, to visit a friend, or relax for a weekend trip, it can most certainly, not be difficult for her to find out about another male muslim, where he lives, matters about his life, and try to make him like her, and want to marry her. In other words, men who aren`t working on their hijab, and use perfume, and look good, will experience fitnah from non-muslim girls/women AND muslim girls/women. So yeah their struggle is real. I can`t say I want muslim men to not go outside, they are the provider. They have to. But they must be aware of these matters. Ya Allah, grant all muslim men of the ummah to win the struggle to perfect their hijab, in public and private. Protect them from experiencing fitnah and bad company. Aameen

Fear Of Tribulations For Both Genders

An aspect that is less talked about because of the tabu issue, is the fact that a girl/ woman raping a boy/ man. Just because it is less addressed doesn`t mean it doesn`t happen. Mostly men are seen as the strong, so it is very difficult for them to admit that a girl/ woman tried or succeeded in raping them. Since we already have realized the big tribulations are on rise, there are girls/women who are guilty of this. This is a very sensitive topic. But it needs to be addressed. The numbers are unknown. This is a very important reason, why muslim girls / women must be helped to correct their hijab by their family, friends or the muslim women leaders of the community. When a girl/ woman says she has been raped, everyone immediately, accepts that as the truth, because she is the weak part, most of the times. When boys / men have been raped, it`s more difficult for them to complain to the police, because of shame of being man and weak. If and when they feel that, they need to read the surah Yusuf, chapter of Quran. Both gender can experience someone trying to seduce them. We must help each other and all the community to find solutions, and help to protect every marriage in the community. Ya Allah, make it easy for all the ummah to win the constant struggle of perfecting our hijab, in public and private. Ya Allah grant every ummati to master their self-control in public and private. Ya Allah, grant the ummah to win the struggle of protecting ourself and each other from bad company. Ya Allah, help all the ummati to win the struggle of being in good company all the time. Don`t let bad qualities have any effect on any ummati. Inspire the muslim women/men leaders, to address their followers about this, in a way that will have good effect on those listening. Aameen

188983_10151478508729496_344954689_nYou never know how your positive encouragement can help people. Just because one of the youths you know are misbehaving in any way, it does not imply that they will always be like that. It is our responsibility to look for the good in others and encourage them to improve themselves. Just because a person is having trouble of some kind in their young age is not a hinder for them to later on in their life, become succesful. I`m sure you have heard about a hadith, where our Prophet Muhammad pbuh says: “In the last years before judgement there will be people whom start their life as good people but later become bad people, and some that starts their life as bad people but later get guided from above. We do not know what kind of death a person will have. So it is extremely important that we understand and emphasize when talking to the youth that no matter how much a person messes up, the door to get back to Allah is always open, as long as they are breathing they can change for the better. We should never lose hope.

 

Teacher of Life
Often we see that people give naseeha to youngster in a way that instead of making them better makes them go beyond what is wrong. It is very important that we think well through what we say and how we say it and our body language matches what we are saying. The generations of our parents had different upbringing than us. Most of them were taught good manners even though they didn`t have the most degrees. They had the teacher of life and more respect towards teachers, elders, and knowledgable people like Imams. Now we see that these things are diminishing in our society. For starters we are living in an un-islamic society here in the West. A society that proclaims values that doesn`t match our values. It is a free society where the religion is often seen as something private, and often not allowed to practice in public areas. Like for instance it is forbidden to use niqab in some schools or public areas in some countries in the West.

 

Education about marriage before marriage

We see that our parents marry their children in a very young age without giving them proper education about how a marriage works and how one raises children. We often seen that a lot of young muslim parents living abroad lose their children to the childcare system. Mostly because their way of children’s upbringing collides with the rules in the country they live in. In Norway we see an increasing number of young parents where they have been reported to the childcare, because of this. We are the biggest losers in this, because some of the times, the children that are taken away from their families in an early age, are not taught the values that we stand for.

 

Children mature earlier now

It is very important for the dai`s in today`s society to explain to parents how to give naseeha to youngster. When our parents where kids, their parents told them do this or don`t do that and they listened to them. Nowadays children are more intelligent than at that time. Mostly because of that they are exposed to technology in an early age and the society they live in the west, teach a lot of things very early. To make these kids understand why you can do something and why you can`t is not that easy if you don`t know how to speak to them. Often you have to talk to them with respect. You have to explain why these things are good/bad for them, with real life examples so they can comprehend it. You have to talk with them like you are on the same level. I have read once that when you want to stop your child that is to years old, you should sit down so that you are both at the same height and look into his/her eyes and say what you want to say when you have his fully attention. That is because you want him/her to think like you are on the same level. The same goes to young adults.

 

Give naseeha privately

When you talk with youngsters, talk with the right intention of wanting them to change, without looking down at them. After all it can all be an misunderstanding. We only see through our personal glasses that are made of our values. The youngsters intentions could have been something else. Choose the right timing. Hate the deed, not the person. Give naseeha privately, so you don`t emberass them in front of other family members or their friends or even a stranger. The youth is in such a delicate age when they have to find out about a lot of things, like who they are and what they`re identity is and what they want to do with their life. At the same time all these different kinds of feeling are in them which they have to understand. They are in a very tender age, and need extra care. The last they would need is an adult that looks down on them, is too strict, and tells them what to do without explaining why it is good for them. Last but not least, come with real pointers about how they can stop something or begin with something. Give them the recipe for it from A to Z. Use humour in a way they would understand to catch their attention and use it as a medicine.

 

Conclusion

If you follow these tools, than in sha Allah, you will make a difference in their life. It is very important to understand the people one is giving advice to, rather than being to enthusiastic and give it in the wrong way. It all could boil down to them change for the better or make them even worse than before. It is very important that we are wise in the tools we use. May Allah help us help others. Ameen summa ameen.

Check out and click on site www . Purify Your Gaze . com

https://purifyyourgaze.com/

My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

Poetry

(“,) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (“,)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

Når du er forent med en
du elsker, er det ingenting
du ikke klarer :)

Gode ord skaper tillit.
Gode tanker skaper
Inderlighet. God
giverglede skaper
kjærlighet:)

Mood :)

Content.