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It is annoying sometimes, when muslim leaders tell families, to keep their women at home. It is correct that women has a bigger responsibility when it comes to raising children. But we can’t close our eyes to the society we are co-existing in.

Your Opinion Matters

Number 1. The first matter spouses often have disagreement about, is money. Number 2. If there wouldn’t be any females in different professions, the muslim women would have to go to male doctors, male nurses male teachers, males in kindergarden, males in shops for women and etc. At a time where they need to talk with people of the same gender. Number 3. The most marriages in the west need two salaries to be able to pay for their expenses. Number 4. The wifes’ that stay home for the kids upbringing usually have a small social network. In other words, their need to socialize is not met by only going to the mosque sometimes a month. Number 5. Many muslim men doesn’t pay for the expenses of their wife. They do not fulfill their duty of providing for her and giving her a certain amount every month etc. Number 6. Instead of holding back our women from work because of their hijab, why do we not at least educate muslim men, to treat other muslim women within the boundaries of haya, modesty, lowering gaze, guarding tongue and private parts? Number 7. Help the women in your family to choose profession where they can be an advantage for the community, while also keep their hijab and modesty, and also be safe, where she is. When Muslim women will take an active part in their work, they will be able to influence decisions that affect muslims in their community. They will help build strong communities. The muslim womens opinion matters. 

The Patient Can Choose The Gender Of The Doctor

If every family told the women to stay home because of Islam, within a few generations muslim women would have far more trouble in going outside. The places where the female gender is necessary would be male-dominated. That could cause more trouble. I don’t know if anyone have been in Pakistan lately. There is a reason why they have built malls (shops) for females only. Or in a specific timing, only females are allowed to go inside the mall. That means only female workers will attend them. In that way, they do not have unwanted attention that decrease their freedom. And the safety of women is also safeguarded. Imagine, a woman doctor in Norway, can`t choose to only have female patients. She has to treat both genders. Neutrally with haya, of course. If there weren`t any female asian lady doctors, many asian women today, might not be able to get the proper help they needed. In the time of the Prophet pbuh, many sahabi took part in the battles where muslims fought. Sometimes as nurses bandaging the wounded and also as fighting the enemies. It`s in our islamic heritage. The community need more women to take part in building healthy communities. Islam does not dismiss women working. It just want both genders to practice the ethics of Islam at work and school, as at home.

The Beauty Is In The Perfection

I believe Islam is beautiful. I love Islam. Alhamdolillah. But sometimes we have to be a bit practical. Islam is perfect. But the practice of Islam in the ummah, makes it look ugly. A dai (preacher of Islam) once said. There was a time when muslims practised Islam in such a way, people said, look at so- and so- to motivate other muslims. Nowadays the name is often muslim, but the practice is so poor, that when we talk to some people who are interested in learning about Islam, we tell them to learn it from the Quran and sunnah. Go back to the real source. Don’t look at muslims, who doesn’t pray, and lies, and backbites and earn money in a haram manner. Their practice is not islamic. I`m sure many muslims knows families where the whole family has been muslims for at least three generations, yet still neither of the generations is following even the basics of Islam. Yet they call themselves muslims.

Lets Look At The World

In some countries, wagons of the public transport, is different between the genders. To prevent harassment of women. Some countries have been talking about it. In Afghanistan, a woman goes out with niqab and all her body covered. Even the face. Still these women are harassed there. It is because the men aren`t lowering their gazes and practising haya. In india, group-rape of women, and rape in general is widely spread. In egypt, women have their undergarments teared off in the street, by men walking by. It is not enough to keep women at home to protect them from assault. Parents must teach both sons and daughters how to behave within the boundaries of Islam. Haya, hijab, lowering gaze, and less interaction. If these men were taught good values from their childhood, many of them would have had a good character. It`s not enough to name your son as a muslim, if you don`t teach him good values, than it will be your own loss. Remember in many countries, women are wearing hijab, yet are still being harassed. Obviously the men must also lower their gaze and protect their private parts, and practice modesty.

First Look At Your References

Keeping the women at home, to protect them isn`t the answer here. It is the time of internet, YouTube, snapchat, Skype. Filth can be found, in the media, within your home. With free time, and boringness, many people can go astray. Ya Allah, protect us. Aamen. If you don`t teach your children to fear Allah, they can easily get misguided. The reason why such, problems are on the increase is because we think just knowing Islam is enough. That`s completely wrong. Even non-muslims know about Islam. Many times more than many muslims. Yet they don`t accept it in their heart nor do they practise it. We muslims accept the message, but do not live according to it. It is not enough to know that salah is important. Unless you pray the prayers every day, you will not be granted khusho, or the sweetness of salah. That which is the coolness of Hazoor Paak ‎ﷺ  and his biggest comfort in hardships. We need a spiritual awakening of the ummah. Where we also are doing the good we know. It`s like when your supervisor is going to hire a new colleague. No one hires a new employ based on what they know. Even if they have a master degree. First they look at their references. Do they have practise from the subjects they have studied. That`s why most people have many difficulties finding their first job. To have that first reference, that will open doors for better opportunities. When we improve on our sprituality we will practice islam also in private, not only in public. The wisdom of Islam comes from practising what you have learned, not just talking about it.

Housewife From Back Home

Many women in arrange marriages, who travel to norway, with their spouse, live at home for the first 10 years of their marriage. In Pakistan still many women are housewifes. Many gain weight. Many sleep the day and wakes after mid-day. No specific routine of day. The social life in Pakistan is better than in Norway.  A wife that is married to a pakistani here in norway, often have small social circles, and have to start from scratch, in building network. After these women have stayed home the first ten years of their marriage, raising children, they are often very eager to start an employment. Socialize with other. The children doesn`t need them that much. Their expenses have increased or not paid by their husband. Very little social life at home. Many eagerly start learning the language of their country. In hope of a job. Many health issues from poor diet. These women, most of them, wants to get out more. They have lived the life of being a housewife, in Norway. Their problems are underrated. Few talk about it. Many are also struggling in their marriage.

The Community Need Muslim Women In Many Professions

We can live in a bubble and think that this is what we want. Unless the world is able to offer it, we have to seek insight in the reality of our time today. Keeping women at home, is not the only option. First parents need to educate both genders about ethics of islam. Cultivate in them fear of Allah. Help them choose good friends and good education according to their gender. If you really want to protect your wife from the ill of this community, talk with others about how we can educate men and sons to practice islam also outside the home. Social life in norway is very different from Pakistan, and many wife`s lead a very deppressive life, staying home as housewifes. Help them choose profession where they can utilize their abilities, earn salary, socialize. All this within the boundaries of Islam. All this will help the muslim women increase their  quality of life. They will be happier. Active. Learning. Changing. Growing as people. Know more about the society they live in. That is important to raise good obedient children. They can positively  influence the development of our community. Ya Allah, help the community succeed in making it easy for muslim women, if they wish, to have an employment where they can use their qualities, while also taking care of all of her duties at home. Aamen 

Every hijabi girl or woman is struggling with this. How can I feel beautiful, at the same time, win the struggle of perfecting my hijab. Most men look for beauty in a woman. If both men and women were taught how and what beauty actually is, this struggle wouldn`t have been so damaging for the society/community.

Value Real Beauty In Others

Here in Norway, we see a great diversity of hijabi women and girls. Many of them has a zahiri correct hijab. And many also deviate from the whole concept, and fall into the faults of hijab that goes against it`s meaning. When women wear hijab, that attracts attention, they are not honouring it. Make-up, strong colors, camel-hump style, tight clothing, and see-through-fabric. All these matters, make them attractive to other men and boys. If we could teach our girls, what beauty is. And help them to value it in other people. We can help them in this fight. Their hijab is supposed to hide their beauty, not their beauty more prominent.

hijab-for-husband-beauty-for-dunya-or-oppositeHusbands: Re-assure Your Wife Often

Most women doesn`t know what beauty is. They work on their looks, every day. Looking beautiful is not the same as feeling beautiful. If they knew how beautiful good values, good conduct, good character, good manners, integrity is, they would try to increase their effort in cultivating these qualities in them and their children. That is what the sunnah of Hazoor Paak pbuh, has taught us. The right hijab for a woman or girl, wouldn`t have been such a big issue, if the men, those who will become a muslim husband, were also taught, what beauty actually is. The women, adores themselves for their husband. If men would appreciate their wife, when she beautified herself for him, she would probably put more effort in it. If the dear husband, helped their wife feel beautiful, she wouldn`t look for the reassurance other places. Like when she step out of her home. When wives in general doesn`t feel beautiful and aren`t certain about their beauty, they beautify themselves. That would attract attention, to confirm what they want to hear. That they are beautiful. If there husband doesn`t help them find this. They try to find it outside home.

She Always Finds Something Negative About Herself

A right size model, beautiful, can think that she is ugly. Not because she is comparing herself to others. But she is looking for perfection in what she is seeing on the outside. I want no pimples. No fat. Right color of hair. Always wearing make-up. If anyone saw her, they would be amazed by her outer appearance. But her friends knows. She has low self-esteem and confidence. No matter how beautiful she looks, she always find something negative in it. Negative self-talk. If she would instead cut time she spends on her outside for so many hours daily, and instead spend half an hour on building her self-esteem and self-confidence regularly. She would feel beautiful. She would have a positive attitude about herself. Easily forgive. No matter how much weight she will gain, she will think good of herself. She would know her strengths and weaknesses. She would have self-insight about herself, and become self-empovering. If parents helped young girls, and build them up from the inside, no matter how people talked about their appearance, they would be confident within themselves. When people understand how to feel beautiful, they work more on those matters, because it releases positive energy. It`s no more about, I want to look good anymore. It`s about I want to do good deeds, because that makes me feel good. Real beauty is not about those who heart eyes, with their beauty, it`s about those who melt hearts with their good and decent conduct. These people change hearts. They can make a difference.

wife-beautify-yourself-for-your-husband-muslim-showHusbands And Wives Duties And Rights

From the time a girl is young, she is looking forward to one day find a man and get married. Many girls and women want to wear hijab, but are afraid whether that will hinder them from finding a spouse, in their future. This is why it is important for the entire muslim community, in every country, to teach their boys and men, what beauty is. Help them understand the beauty of how good righteous women, can help them achieve great work for Islam, by supporting them in their way for Islam. Male find comfort in their wife, that rejuvenate them to get closer to Allah. Maybe that is why Allah said the best joy for a muslim man, is having a righteous wife. She will help him do good. Comfort him, and motivate him, to do more. In the journey of having a good relationship with her husband, every wife must understand, the necessary of the wife adoring herself for her husband. When she will put some effort in this for her marriage, it will make it easier for the husband, to lower his gaze and keep himself pure. Other women will make less fitnah for her husband, because he is being fulfilled with what he needs, from his wife. This sunnah, is often ignored by many wives. They don`t keep themselves clean in the house. Or beautify themselves only for their husband’s sake. This causes damage to their husbands, whom are really hungered when they step out every day. In the west, when men go outside for work, they can easily get attracted to other females, because of the fitnah of how they beautify themselves. Nowadays, even a muslimah without hijab and with hijab can be a fitnah for a muslim man. When the wifes hungers their husbands, and they meet these sights outside their home, I can understand, what kind of difficulty this must cause for their life. If both the wife and husband, dig in their goodwill towards each other, and starts to do the work they are needed to keep each other fulfilled, many troubles can be minimized or sorted out. And the couple and the family could enjoy a more blessed and barakah full life.

A Summarized List To Remember Always:

1. Help children boys and girls understand the beauty of good conduct, good deeds, helping hands for those less fortunate.
2. Parents build the self-esteem and confidence of their children, boys and girls.
3. Every wife, beautify yourself unconditionally for your husband only
4. Every husband, appreciate your wife unconditionally, shower on her love. When she feels beautiful, she would do more to look beautiful.
5. When every marriage is fulfilling the need of the husband and wife, they will be rejuvenated to do much more. This will help the wife fulfil her duty of hijab, and the husband to lower his gaze when he steps outside. Happy and good parents raise great children.

Protect Your Marriage = Protect Your Community

If we are able to raise children who know what beauty is, and confident about themselves, they will be a positive contributor for both muslim and non-muslim community in your country. There is a reason why some male, men and boys, stand on the corner of many places in most countries, even islamic countries. When every wife and husbands spends time on protecting their marriage, it also protect other marriages. Every man or woman, who has to step outside, and is not fulfilled from the home, will easier fall into fitnah. It doesn`t have to be a affair. It can be media, pictures, programmes etc. These people can cause trouble for other marriages. That is why every married ummati, must fulfil their duties upon their spouse, and not only talk about what rights they have. Ya Allah, protect every marriage, for every ummati til the end of time. Help every spouse fulfil their duties towards their spouse and children. Help us understand what beauty is. How to cultivate the beauty of character in ourself, and our family. Help us correct our shortcomings. Aamen summa aamen.

Picture courtesy : the muslim show.

prophet-muhammad-pbuh-i-love-mohammadOne matter we can improve is helping our children to get addicted to reading drud sharif as early as possible. There are many benefits of reading drud sharif, but the reason why I`ve heard it is good for families, is that it brings gentleness into our conduct. Many parents often complain that teens often become very rude and difficult. Reading drud often, everyday, can be something that tames their emotions and grant them control over themselves, so they become more easygoing, even within the family, not only with their friends.

Cultivate Gentleness In Your Child

Parents have a big job cultivating good qualities in their children. Often times as the child is growing, parents give their children different duties they have to do everyday, or some days in the week, to help them learn new task through responsibility. The parents make a chart for the whole week, and give a star for every accomplished work. One duty they can add to those chores is reading 100 drud sharif every day, in front of their parents, in the start, just so that the parents can hear them, help them recite it correctly, and make sure, they are actually reading it. As the child will get the hang of it, and the taste of it`s delights, parents can often say, if all four children read, drud every day 500 times, when each of the family member has read 10 000 drud or 100 000 drud, we will celebrate with an outing on a good halal restaurant, or a vacation somewhere they want to go, with islamic content, or some kind of reward / goal, you will easily motivate them.

The Atmosphere Will Change Positively

If your child start reading drud sharif regularly, You will see an immense difference in their attitude and behaviour. They will become more gentle in everything they do and say, and they will start liking sunnah deeds. Their love for Hazoor Paak pbuh will increase, and through that love, their obedience to Allah in private and public will improve. The drud sharif will beautify their inside and outside, with good sunnah conduct and noraniyat. What else can a muslim parent want for his / her child / teen? This will change the entire atmosphere of the house. Soon you will have less quarrels, more love and gracious practice towards each other. The love within the family, will increase. When the children slowly realize the good effect of reading drud sharif in their life, they will increase their practice of it, regardless of your motivation. When that happens you have done a great job, guiding your child to healthy habits. This will bring them bliss in this life and the hereafter. The drud sharif supports the reader of it, until the reader reads drud sharif so much, that Allah make it, the readers vasila, and take all his / her matters in His own Hands. Ya Allah grant this for every child, teen and adult of the ummah. Aameen.

Hvis det ikke er lov med klaps på rompa, klyping i øret og det å ta et barn hardt i armen, hvilke sanksjoner kan foreldre iverksette for å oppdra bra barn? Vi ser jo at dagens barn ofte er ganske bortskjemte og uoppdragne. 
Spørsmålet er om de sanksjoner barnevernet mener vi bør bruke, faktisk virker? Det finnes jo et stort spekter innenfor barnets personlighet. Alle barn kan ikke oppdras på lik måte. Noen barn er vanskeligere enn andre barn. Vil for “snille” sanskjoner gi noe effekt i oppdragelsen? 

Mange synes at barnevernets regler ift oppdragelse er for strenge og urimelige og noe av årsaken til at barna blir “ute av kontroll”. 

Det er stor forskjell mellom å slå et barn sanseløst til det blør/får blåveis e.l og en ørefik eller klyp i armen for at de skal oppføre seg i en gitt situasjon. Hvordan er barna i norge idag? Tar myndighetene for stor kontroll over oppdragelsen? Tåler staten for lite? Er det forskjell på hvordan barna blir ift de som aldri har blitt slått og de som får et klyp/ørefik i ny og ne. 

Jeg tror at av de som i barndommen har opplevd et klyp/ørefik/holde armen hardt e.l idag som voksne, føler at de har hatt godt av det. Ift de som ikke har fått slike sanskjoner. Jeg tror de er kommet bedre ut av en slik oppdragelse. Barn som blir oppdratt for “snilt” blir ikke enklere å ha med å gjøre når de blir tenåringer og voksne. 

Dersom vi ønsker en viss kvalitet/verdibygging i barna våre, synes jeg det er lurt om det er lov med visse type enkle sanksjoner.

brother for sale.When we go through something painful that happens to ourselves it is painful and hurting. Sometimes it`s so tough to cope with that we really go ten feet under the floor. I`ve talked about this a few times before. Parents know how this feels like. Imagine when your child is in pain/hurt or any sickness. I can imagine parents must feel that their child is like a part of them, and extended version of their heart. Imagine when he/she is in pain and you are not able to remove it. So we pray and pray. We ask everyone we know for help. Some join us and help, other ignore. It is out of our hands. Only the All-Healing can help us. For Allah nothing is impossible.

Job With The Best Paid Wages – Love

Bringing children into this world that is becoming more and more dangerous and difficult to live in, is a dary job. I`m sure it is worth it. May Allah help parents learn good methods to give a healthy upbringing to their children. And give righteous children to everyone. May Allah give all families good health and aafia and barakah in their life, so they can share each others joys and happiness, and comfort each other in difficult times and give them constant increase in imaan and guidance so they can become resourceful for the community, muslims and non-muslims, and a ongoing-charity for their parent til the end of time. Allah, remove all pain and suffering. Aameen.

islamic school necessaryThe muslims that migrated to Britain must have been different from the muslims that migrated to Norway. Although they are a few generations more than us. They have also succeeded much more in many ways. For example. The halal food industry is really huge there. Certified halal food is easy available in food stores and in restaurants. They have managed to build popular islamic schools that are doing great for the children’s islamic values as well as education in West. It seems to me that the muslims in britain take Islam more seriously than what muslims in Norway have done.

The Case In Norway

Here in Norway, most restaurant’s have asian cuisine, but only a few have certified halal. Is it that the muslims doesn`t demand halal. Do they not take it that seriously? What we eat has an effect on our behaviour. Muslim parents are worried about the islamic education of their children. Youth are having adaab issues. Yet we are not able to build an islamic school because of disunity and not able to find a common ground within the four schools of law. Practising muslims in Norway are really struggling. May Allah make it easy for us. And help us find solutions. Aameen. The ones that will lose is the coming generations here. When we are not doing enough for them to stay as muslims for the rest of their lives as well as live as practising muslim in norwegian communities.

Why Is Britain Ahead Of Us?

One reason can be that since the generations of muslims in Britain are ahead of us, their own culture and language is fading away. They are giving their religion more precedence instead of culture or language. Most of teens and children don’t talk their mother tongue. They communicate fluently in english at school and home. I don’t think I will be exaggerating if I also dare say, that most probably the parents of the teens and children has also left their mother tongue. One of the biggest minus points for a islamic school in Norway, is the fear of ghetto. When children and teen talk their mother tongue with class-mates at school, they will not be able to learn norwegian as fluently as they will need, later in life. Which can create difficulties for them when searching for job etc.

Media Is Not Accurate

The talk about Muslim schools in Norway create a lot of bad vibes in the media. They want to control the curriculum more because of their negative ideas about our religion. They stir up small issues, and make them look dangerous for the community. The population of Norway is 5,2 million. (Key figures from SSB) 848 200 of the total are immigrants. Of these immigrants 55 % are European, 28% are Asians, 12 % are African and 3% are South American. 149 600 of the immigrants are from the second generation. When we understand that we are talking about a group of people who are only 16.3% og the population, we easily can put it into perspective. Before we talk about that muslims are taking over Norway, we don`t know how many of the 16.3% of the immigrants are muslims. Or need i say practicing muslim. Media knows how to blow some issue out of its proportion as it’s a huge problem. When in fact the opposite is more accurate. It becomes a huge discussion and the government have made laws that are making it even more difficult for us. They know we are not able to perform at the same level as them, because we are not as educated in the rules and regulations as the native Norwegians are. But of course a few more generations and that will change. But we can’t dare to wait for long. One youth leaving our religion is one too much. We can’t risk that. We need to take action. If we want our children to be on-going charity for us after we are gone, we have no time to waste. Better prepare before were too late. May Allah make it easy for us. Aameen.

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My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

:) W & R one 2 one :)

(",) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (",)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

Når du er forent med en
du elsker, er det ingenting
du ikke klarer :)

Gode ord skaper tillit.
Gode tanker skaper
Inderlighet. God
giverglede skaper
kjærlighet:)

Mood :)

Overjoyous :) I wonder which song is always on my mind (",)

(“,) Always on my mind (“,)

Be mine all the time,
never cross the line,
I`m a one man woman,
I don`t share
what`s mine,
never settle for less..

Song of the moment :)

:) If you just love me, i will let you see, how more you need? :)

:) Discover enlightenment
holding your hand.. :)