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when you plan to marry her - jannah“Life-partners should have a faithfulness towards each other that no one can challenge. Whether male or female, or a member of the family, or a person at the work, or at the mosque. In the world outside people will say and do all sorts of things of all sorts of motives; often they try to upset a happy marriage for no other reason than that it is happy – this being a form of destructive jealousy. If you know your partner fully, and know their character, then you should be able to trust implicitly that he/she would not behave in a manner that would let you down, and that if they are accused of having done this, then the accusation is false”. – A good muslim Marriage.

Marriage is not about keeping score, if you hurt me 10 times, I will hurt you 11 times, just to keep the scores right, and get back at you. If you try to get back at your spouse when they are in any way un-kind, than you have missed the point of what marriage really is. It is Allah that is keeping the score. When you are nice to your spouse, it is not your spouse that will give you the reward for that, even he /she might be better towards you. The reward will come from Allah. Even when he /she is acting impossible. If you have sabr, Allah helps and give reward. If it was all about keeping account, than that wouldn`t be called love, but just a silly game.

Marriage is also security, for both. Even if your spouse has in any way been un-kind to you, you don`t use that as an excuse to flirt with others or try to look for other “opportunities”. When you marry someone you commit yourself 100 % to that person only and no one else. No matter what obstacle comes in you way, you will strive together. I think I am talking for the husband and wife when I say that both want this security, and trust. If you don`t have a solid foundation of trust in your commitment, the building will eventually collapse.

Another thing that is quite common is that spouses correct each other in front of other people. That is a big crime, and should be avoided. We know we`re not perfect, no one is. But when you bring out your spouse faults in front of others, that person loses his face in front of others. If you need to correct your spouse do it in private, when you get the chance. That is also the only way you will see any change. Of course, it should not be left unsaid that you are doing it for unselfish reasons and not because you want to bring him/her down. Be polite and to the point without any personal agendas.

Your wife needs to know that he/she can count on you. That even if you are pissed off about something, you won`t misbehave when he/she is not around. You would try to find the best solutions to solve your differences in an Islamic manner.

Let past be past. Don`t ask questions about it. Know that if he/she didn`t love you or choose you for marriage, you wouldn`t be together now. So be confident, that he/she chose you because he/she found something in you.

Both the husband and wife should have enough self-respect that they don`t take crap. If your spouse is behaving unreasonable without any logic reason, make him/her calm, or leave the situation, if you need to calm yourself down, so that you don`t say anything you would regret later. Misunderstandings are inevitable. How you manage them, is what makes your marriage good.

“No husband or wife is perfect, but when a husband shows love and thought for his wife, and act in accordance with the principles of Islam, he will surely earn not only her love and respect, but that of Allah Himself”. – A Muslim Marriage Guide.

treating women honourably, household chores, menMen are the protectors and maintainers of the family. When they have the right universal values, so will their offspring too. I guess most of the parents that came to the West were more busy with earning money than Islam. Ma Sha Allah, now we see a lot of their children have become very religious, despite their parents not being the best role-models.

It is very important that we also teach our next generation the right values. For instance, it is very common that in a family with siblings, the daughters have to do most of the chores. I mean, has the Imam at the Mosque ever talked about this? We have to read sunnah and nawafil in the prayers, but what about following the sunnah in our life outside of the prayer. If we don`t teach our kids, mainly young boys that they have to help around in the house, and not leave all the work for the women, what kind of husbands do you think they will turn out to be? We have forgotten a lot of sunnahs. The Prophet (pbuh) was never shy to help around the house. He also mended his own clothes and shoes. Nothing will happen to your status if you give the women in your family a helping hand. Even when your friends and family are around. Are you to shy to follow the sunnah? It is ok when it suits your life, right? If it doesn`t than, never mind. It is very important that we try to think more about what Islam says, rather than what our culture is. There has developed clashes between religion and culture. You decide what will win.

Men have a lot of responsibility and I understand that. Another important aspect they have forgotten is to make sure that the people in their family doesn`t go away from Islam. They should rather make sure that the women in their life come closer to Islam. One thing that is very important is for example the prayers. Don`t just make sure you yourself read it on time, but make sure that your daughter, sister, mother and wife also get a chance to read it with proper concentration without having to hurry because the children are crying or that the dinner will burn. So that they also get a good equal chance to earn those rewards that you now have become so eager to earn. Remind them. Remember you have a responsibility. From character to spirituality, Islam is a way of life.

May Allah help all the men of this Ummah understand the responsibility that is put on their shoulders, and help them in fulfilling it in the best possible way. Ameen summa ameen.

Marital Discord - book cover darussalamAbdullah bin Masud raa said : ” Artisans such as he were known to work during the night, so that if sleep overcame him, he would only wake up upon the rising of the sun. His situation is equivalent to one who is overcome by habit, one who is not able to wake up and not one who refuses to wake up, which is why – through Allah`s kindness to his slaves and the Prophet`s kindness to his nation – The Prophet (pbuh) said: ” So when you wake up, O Safwan, then pray”. Hence Safwan`s situation was similar to a person who becomes unconscious and cannot subsequently wake up. And perhaps this only occurred to Safwan raa sometimes – for example, when he had no one nearby to wake him up.

“Let no woman mix with another woman and then describe that woman to her husband, so that it is as if he is looking at her (so vivid or stimulating is her description). (Sahih, Bukhari, Abu Dawud).

The wisdom behind this prohibition is that a man might become fascinated by the woman being described, so that one things lead to another until he divorces his wife or succumbs to temptation by trying to meet and then seduce the woman who was being described to him.

A woman might, naively, describe a woman she met, having been impressed by her character and her beauty. Since she struck up a friendship with that woman, she is excited to tell her husband all about her, telling him more and more after each meeting. Sadly, she does not realize that, at times, the heart precedes the eyes in the process of falling in love. She might have loving relationship with her husband, and then suddenly things being to change between them, but she doesn`t know why. Then, finding an opening through which to attack, the shaitan (the devil) intervenes to complete the destruction of their family. Shaitan plants the idea of trying to see that woman in the mind of the husband, and a willing victim that he is, he loses no opportunity to see her and, if possible, speak to her. Not only that, but he tries to find out as much as he can about her, including her marital status, her age – and her address. Shaitan helps him constantly strike up an image of her in his mind`s eye, so that even when he is with his wife in bed, he is imagining her. Then he begins to hate his wife, and since he needs an excuse in order to get rid of her, he finds ways to fight with her and to ascribe evil qualities to her in front of others. This all began when his wife described the beauty of another woman to him. He might have children, but no matter, he is falling to a lower and lower depths, life becomes more and more unbearable. Because of financial or psychological or societal concerns, he does not outright tell his wife that he is in love with the other woman. Having to bottle up his feelings, he finds ways to create problems that work to undo the stability of his family.

Nor is it permissible in the shariah for a man to describe his wife to others. At-Tijani reported the following narrative in Tuhfatul Arus. Ma`bad As-Saliti had a beautiful wife named Hamidah. One day, Ma`bad recieved orders to join the army that was headed towards Khurasan. He left and at some point during his journey, he spoke to his companions about his wife`s beauty and about how much he loved her so much, that he considered disobeying the ruler and fleeing from the army in order to return home. Having heard Ma`bad`s description, a man named Hut bin Sinan, began to have feelings for Ma`bad`s wife. He said to Ma`bad “I want to go to Basrah (which is where Ma`bad lived). Ma`bad said, “Then I will write a letter and give it to you, so that you can give it to hamidah”. When Hut arrived at Basrah, he hastened to Hamidah`s home with her husband’s letter. Intent as he was to see her, he refused to give it to anyone (such as a servant), saying, “I will not hand it to anyone other than her”. She then appeared before him, and he spoke to her. Some of the feelings of lust that mingled in his heart began to mingle in hers. It is  needless to say that temptation increased as he visited her on a frequent basis, until finally, they ran away together. Their whereabouts remained unknown for an entire year. Then some of her family saw her and learned that she had conceived a baby. News of her situation spread and she was apprehended by a ruler. After being taken into custody, and after her guilt been established, Hamidah was stoned to death for the crime of adultery.

(Extracts taken out of the book “Marital Discord – Causes and Cures).

There are two very important lessons to take out from this chapter in the book. One is woman should not mention anything about their female friends to their husbands, and husbands should not mention anything about their wife to their male friends, to decrease temptation that later can lead to a broken marriage. May Allah help the Ummah.

muslimah, hijab, crown, princessNote To Myself And The Women Of The World:

Don`t let the world degrade you to an object to please strangers eyes. You are worthy of being the slave of Allah. Which is the highest status any woman can have. Don`t dress to impress men that would degrade you to a thing. Rather dress for your Lord. Your hijab protects you against being just an attraction for men. Your status as a human being, a woman, is so much more. As a mother; jannah lies at your feet, as a wife; you fulfil half of the deen of your Husband, as a Daughter; you are a rahma for the family and your parents and brothers ticket to heaven, depending on how they treat you and what kind of islamic upbringing they give you.

Your hijab doesn`t hide your opinion, rather it gives you freedom to express them by people focusing on what you say, rather than how you look like. How you dress yourself proclaims how you think about yourself, and how you want others to think about yourself. Respect yourself, and don`t let the world put standards for you. Raise your standards to what position Allah has given you, and you will in sha Allah reap the reward for the good you do in this world.

-Inspired by dai`s around the world.

marriage khadija raa prophet muhammad (pbuh)Can a woman stipulate in her marriage contract that she does not want her husband to take a second wife?

A person can choose to sacrifice one of their rights and this is not considered haram in Islam; it is a matter of preference. The prophet (SAW) chose not to eat the Dhabb but he did not make it haram upon himself. Similarly, in Islamic contracts both parties are allowed agreeing to any condition that they like as long as two conditions are met: 1- It is not a condition that is prohibited in the sharee’ah. 2- It does not go against the spirit of the current contract. This is the official opinion of the hanbali madhab, and was also the opinion of Ibn Taymiyyah, ibn Al-Qayyim, and others. This is based upon the fact that Ali (RA) chose not to marry another woman while he was married to Fatimah (RA), which he abided by.

Ibn Qudamah (RH) said:

“If he stipulates that he will not take her out of her house or her city, or that he will not travel with her or will not take another wife, then he is obliged to fulfil that, and if he does not do so, then she has the right to annul the marriage. This was narrated from ‘Umar, Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas and ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas (may Allah be pleased with them).”

Al-Mughni, 9/483

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymin (RH) said:

“If she stipulates that he should not take another wife, this is permissible. Some of the scholars said that it is not permissible, because it is restricting the husband in something that Allah has permitted to him, and it is contrary to the Qur’aan in which it says (interpretation of the meaning): “then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four” [al-Nisa’ 4:3]. It may be said in response to that that she has a reason to ask him not to marry another wife and she is not transgressing against anyone. The husband himself is the one who is giving up his right; if he has the right to marry more than one, he is giving it up. So what is to prevent this condition being valid?

Hence the correct view with regard to this matter is the view of Imam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy on him), which is that this condition is valid.”

Al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 5/243

Shaykh Salih al-Fawzan (HH) said:

“Among other conditions that are valid in marriage is if she stipulates that he should not take another wife. If he fulfils the condition (all well and good), otherwise she has the right to annul the marriage because of the hadeeth, ‘The conditions which most deserve to be fulfilled are the ones that make marital intimacy permissible for you’ ”

Al-Mullakhas al-Fiqhi (2/345, 346)

Allah knows best.

-Source Shaykh Navaid Aziz

Allah is oneOnce there was a woman who went to a scholar to ask for a solution to her problem. She told him that her husband was thinking about having a second wife and that she didn`t know what to do, as she was against that. Listening to her the scholar thought for a while when he suddenly fainted. He woke up again and fainted again. This happened several times. When he finally woke up the people who were gathered around him asked him why he fainted. So he said: “Here is this woman whom can`t stand that anyone will be in her place and that her husband has another partner. Than I thought about how Allah feels when people set up partners to Him, how He would be feeling and how angry that would make him. SubhanAllah.

Imagine, Of course, We understand the anger that Allah experiences when partners are set up against Him. But we can`t understand the anger or resentment of a woman when her husband is talking about a second wife. SubhanAllah, we need to open up our minds and understand this in sha Allah. ❤

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My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

:) W & R one 2 one :)

(",) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (",)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

Når du er forent med en
du elsker, er det ingenting
du ikke klarer :)

Gode ord skaper tillit.
Gode tanker skaper
Inderlighet. God
giverglede skaper
kjærlighet:)

Mood :)

Overjoyous :) I wonder which song is always on my mind (",)

(“,) Always on my mind (“,)

Be mine all the time,
never cross the line,
I`m a one man woman,
I don`t share
what`s mine,
never settle for less..

Song of the moment :)

:) If you just love me, i will let you see, how more you need? :)

:) Discover enlightenment
holding your hand.. :)