I have sort of been brought up in a joint family, as my brothers got married when I was only 18. So til now I`ve had a few good experiences as well as bad experiences with it. The good experiences are that one has the elders with one, that is an easy way of achieving their blessings and all, one help each other when there is need, always someone at home. On the other hand, it could happen that one feels that one doesn`t have that much privacy, as there is always someone around. Sometimes as one grows older, one wants to do things ones own way, instead of always ask the elder if it is ok. I mean when are you old enough that you can make your own decisions? For Norwegians, according to their law it is 18, but I don`t think one is mature enough to make any good decisions at that time. Though when you are mature enough to get married, I believe everyone has the strive to do things their own way. Like for instance ones way of bringing up your child differs from the family you live in, think how difficult it would be for both of the part? As living in joint family everyone does have their say but they are not always heard. And who is right? Who decides that? How far does my responsibility go when I disagree, but although want to do the right thing? Theres no definite answer to any of these questions, and their answers differ from family to family.
One thing is for sure. Now since I have started using hijab, the whole idea of living in a house when I would have to use the hijab, whenever I am outside my room, is something that would make my life quit tougher. The fact that I don`t use make up or perfume when I go out is a thing I have started from quite a long time now. But how would I manage to take of my make up before I step out side of the room, as I only want to beautify myself for my husband only. There are so many thoughts like this in my head nowadays, about this issue. As from before, I was always for joint family’s, but nowadays I don`t know anymore. As one can always get a house nearby ones parents, and be there with them despite oneself living in ones own house, can`t one? I don`t know. All I know is that I do want to be there for my parents, as my husband to be`s parents as well as I want to do things my own way and have my privacy. I will Insha Allah let you know when I find a solution to this:)
Roshnii179 