An attachment can be positive and it can be negative. Like a child is attached to his parents until he is independent. This is a natural attachment that we must go through. Like a nest. The baby birds learn to fly from their parents, and one day they leave their parents nest.
The tricky part is when the attachment become negative to abusive. Like in the start of a friendship everyone seems good and nice. After a while you can see similarities of mental abusive and controlling behaviour. This often happens to people who are not able to understand how they need to respect themselves. So they tolerate disrespect from others. Other times, the “friends” doing the abuse tear down their selfesteem and confidence with their negative behaviour and remarks, that they are not able to protect themselves.
The most important point is to learn your own value, and never let anyone devalue you. If they attempt to ridicule/ harass/ threatening/ demean or any other negative behaviour, you have to stop letting them into your life. Avoid them.
Don’t let them manipulate you to think you can’t become succesful without them. Your success is not tied to one person. Our success comes from Allah. Bad influence is never welcome. At least not if you can’t protect yourself from the bad qualities of those people.
This kinds of freindships are seen more in the internet world. It becomes a bad attachment when you miss them, when they’re not around. Like when a bad friend is with you, he / she treats you in a wrong way. The day he/she doesn’t come, you forget the negative treatment and miss the “company”. It’s not good for us to be around people that drag us down to bottom, everytime we meet them. Good people encourage others. Say good stuff. Gently and privately change the negative they see in you. They empover you. Anything else can not be tolerated.
We must get rid of the bad influence in our life by making boundaries, people do not cross. If they try, first attempt: warning, second attempt: out. When we let other walkover our boundaries, they can become more cruel.
The shephards has to protect who is under their responsebility, if they are not able to protect themselves. And every shephards will be questioned about their responsebility. If they do good, it is a way to earn immense reward. Responsability is mostly given to those who can fulfil it. If unnessasary mistakes are common. Their deeds can make their afterlife miserable. That is the greatest misery of all time. May Allah protect us. Help us diligently fulfil our duties towards those we are responsible for. And grant us wisdom to protect ourself and our loved ones from bad influence forever. Ya Allah, make us of those who have the courage of stopping the hands of the oppressors, when and if they harm us or our loved ones. Aameen ya rab.
Roshnii179 