Why a husband needs to win his wife’s heart everyday

When a man divorces his wife, it is stated in a hadith, that he should get married as soon as possible. Even if he is 80 years and knows that he will only live for three months. That is how great importance Allah gives to fulfilling ones desires halal way, to reduce fitnah (tribulations). The society doesn’t always give the same advice to women who have been previously married. Although we all know from the Quran in surah Ysuf that Zulaykha was married to a man with power and money. Yet still because of Ysuf alahisalam’s beauty, she seduced him. She was married and still experienced fitnah and was not able to control her desires for Ysuf alahisalam. Think about all the marriages of this time. Some say that the divorce rate of this time is upto 50%. And than think about the stigma many previously married women experience when she wants to get re-married. And than again look back at the surah of Ysuf alahisalam. Previously married women also have desires. If we won’t make it easier for these women to get married, than there is a possibility that they can fall into sin. Secondly, Ysuf alahisalam was younger than Zulaykha. She got fond of him because of his looks. Often times in marriage books. The most authors speak about how important it is for a woman to make herself beautiful so that her man does not fall into sin outside their marriage. But the emphasis of the husband make himself handsome for his wife, is often lost in the context. Females are not perfect. Whether married or not married. They also want to be attracted to their husband. All I am saying is that if men also made an effort to make sure that his wife is pleased with him. Not only tolerating. But really pleased. Than married woman, whom also can experience fitnah, might not fall into the same sin as Zulaykha. If men would make some extra effort to take care of their beard. Use fragrance when their wife is with them. Be generous. Be kind. Genuinely to win their wife’s heart. Than not only will their marriage be good. But they will save themselves from a unfulfilling marriage that can lead to divorce. And they will save the communities. Because both young and old men are abused. It’s just not done so much research about it yet. So we don’t know the exact percentage. And also the stigma of reporting an abuse as a male is so devastating, that I believe very few men dare to speak of it or report it. We should and have to speak about this. To help people live healthy and halal.

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