When we say or do something hurtful to our spouse, it creates a distance between you two.
For example
Lying – 5 meters
Harshness – 7 meters
Unloyalty – 10 meters
Unfaithfulness – 100 meters
When we are good to our spouse and do deeds and actions that makes your spouse feel “respected”, “loved” etc, it increases the intensity of the closeness you two share.
For example
Kiss on the forehead – 5 meters closer
Flowers – 15 meters closer
Warm dinner – 100 meters closer
Undivided attention – 20 meters closer
When we sum up these two meters which bring closer and that which makes distance, if the sum is negative, we have been making more distance from misbehaviour. If the sum is positive, we have done more good behaviour.
Just like that, we sum up every day, every week every month and year. If both in the marriage continously work on themselves and their relationship, most of the time, they will have a close fulfilling relationship. When both do deeds that bring each other closer, no matter the setbacks, you will overcome it. Because you two have made a good solid foundation. There is never to late to do something special together that wipes out many of the previous mistakes. Make effort to learn your spouse’s “love-languages”, “respect-languages” and “forgiveness-languages”. Just by knowing it, it is 50% done. Now all you two need to do is, speak these languages in deeds.
Ya Allah, grant every ummati a good marriage. Aamen. Protect every marriage til the end of time. Aamen.
