Many men talk about having more than one wife. According to Islam, it is allowed. The time of the sahaba, many widows needed support, and men were allowed to marry them. The orphans would get helped, and the women get supported. In that time the sahaba raa didn`t either see any bad in marrying any women whom had been married before. Also the muslim women, were more reliable.
Friendships With Opposite Gender Outside Marriage
Nowadays, men frighten their first wife, if you don`t stop the discussion, I would marry another. Alhamdolillah, it is allowed in Islam. It is only that the society of today, is much different from the time of the sahaba. The era of today is full of fitnah everywhere. Many are struggling with hijab and modesty. Integrity is seen less. People have become more materialistic. There is more lying than before. Good conduct and decent values are rarily found in people. In these trying times, most wives wonder about their husbands integrity. Most husbands wonder about their wife`s integrity. Husbands are wondering about one wife, what if you had four, demanding the same right? So one day you`re with one wife. Can you trust the second, third and fourth at that time? What reason do you have to be assured, that they are not with anyone else? Most women of today, can`t wait a day for her husband, when he is away. Also internet makes it easy to get friends, easily. When friends between the genders are ok, when do we know if both husband and wife have haya and practice modesty, when they are with other people? That is why it is important to choose spouse because of good character and decent values. Don`t choose spouse because of beauty, status or money. You are not choosing a car. You are choosing the mother of your children. The qualities you see in her, will be seen in your children. The purity of the children is dependent on the purity of the husband and wife. If you want good children you can`t afford to choose wrong. Imagine your children imitating their mother. Dancing at bollywood songs and addicted to dialogues from indian dramas or movies. I would prefer to have a spouse where we both remember our Lord in everything we do, by practising obedience to Him in public and private. Following sunnah guidelines. Your married life isn`t dependent on your wife`s appearance. Your married life is dependent on you and your wife`s good qualities and abilities. If your too obsessed about the beauty or luxury of this dunya, how will you be able to work for your souls home? The place you`re going to spend an eternity. Ya Allah, protect us from bad faith. Aamen. Grant every ummati a righteous spouse. Aamen.
What If You Make The Same Mistake With Second Wife?
One can understand from this, that even if a man marries a second wife, there will be a half-year happy time, after that both will get used to each other. Than the same mistakes he made in the first marriage, will be seen in him towards his second wife? He didn`t fix them then. Of course, it wasn`t his faults. So the solution of disagreements between couple, is not to get another wife. It is to find ways of increasing love between the husband and wife in the first marriage. Finding ways of increasing compatibility. Understanding how your spouse feels loved and how your spouse accepts apologies. Showing love through gestures of respect, appreciation and gifts.
A Husband And Wife Of This Trying Time, Need To Prove Their Integrity To Each Other Every Day
One matter is settled. Men and women has a responsibility to cultivate in them good conduct, in private and public. Even if someone might win a blessing. He / she can easily lose it, if he / she doesn`t know how to value it. When it comes to Allah`s friends. Allah will never give His diamond, to a man who is not able to protect it and take care of it. That is something, that must be proven every day. Not just one day of a year. Ya Allah, grant every husband and wife to win the struggle of correcting their integrity, niyah, ikhlas and haya. Aamen. Protect every ummati from those who are un-reliable, untrustworthy, and those who have bad character. Aamen. A woman is tested when her man has nothing. A man is tested when he has everything. Let`s see who really passes the test? Ya Allah, grant every ummati help to make good decisions in life. Protect every marriage from envy, jealousy, magic and evil eye til the end of time. Aamen
Picture courtesy : The muslim show.