I know that this could be used against me, but I`m going to share anyways because there might be others out there in a similar circumstance. Everyone that has a friend knows how important their friendship is to them. We all need friends. Being a Muslimah, I would say I have thought more and more about the whole friendship topic. What kind of friend you have says a lot about you. If you are a good muslimah and want to excel in it, you would search for the right friend that could give you the right push so that you both can in sha Allah meet in Jannah.
My friends have probably noticed that I`m not as social as I were before. It is mostly because I want friends who wants to talk about Islam. Who want to discuss how to become a better muslimah. Who wants to live a muslimized life, even if we are in the West.
If it was anyone else they might not have any issue about it. They would most probably meet up frequently at the nearest mosque, and take it from there. But all my bad experiences of friends that have deceived me has made it so difficult for me to trust other people. Somehow it always seems like everyone want something in return when they are nice to me. And my previous efforts of going to the mosque have been terrible. I was treated quite bad and that has put a feeling of fear in me that people are going to treat me bad there.
I want a friend I can rely on in all times that shares the same interests as me. I know that people like that are likely to be at every muslim/islamic event. Though me being sort of afraid of big social gatherings have prevented me from attending those.
When one is married it is important that the husband doesn`t talk about his male friends to his wife and vice versa, because of fear of fitnah. Thoughts like that occupy my mind when I think about how it would be to have friendships after marriage.
It is very important for all people to have good friends. Someone they can share their opinions with, and helping each other in becoming better and to have those interesting discussions that you are always looking forward to have when you meet them.
For quite som time now I have been to gatherings that even if the people are muslim they don`t talk that much about Islam. So I feel like an outsider. Don`t get me wrong. It`s not that I know that much about Islam, it`s just that I want to talk about things that are connected to our religion instead of other topics.
And then last but not least, what is a good friend? Someone who doesn`t look down on you even if you`re not as good a muslimah as them. Someone who pushes you to become better without thinking of you being inferior of them. Someone who prays for you because she wants to meet you in Jannah. Someone you can trust and talk about everything without being afraid of the person telling others. People you spend time with that are amazing and whenever you have met them and head home you feel uplifted instead of more depressed, if you understand what I mean. People with great manners that rub on over you too.
I remember back when I was younger I met a woman at work that complained that she didn`t have any good female friend although she was with a guy (not muslim). And she used to talk with me about that. At that time I didn`t get what she meant because I had a lot of friends at that time. But know I understand what she meant.
May Allah give each and every muslim or muslimah good friends that pray for their well-being and support them through thick or thin in their life, and may every muslim / muslimah prosper that much that Jannah will be their final resting place. I pray that we muslims don`t have friends that make them feel hopeless. Instead they have friends that make the feel hopeful. Ameen summa ameen.