Have you heard about, a young sahabi, whom saw a naked woman doing ghusl, and been so guilty of it, and cried for a long time, until he died of it. Not only ashamed of the action, but by the fear of Allah, how Allah will punish him. This was a young sahabi named Tha‘labah ibn ‘Abd ar-Rahmaan of the time of Prophet Muhammad pbuh.
Don`t Walk Near The Pit-falls
We know that times are changing. This time is filled with fitnah. It is very easy for a child, teen or adult to easily get access to any kind of filth, without their parents, or spouse, knowing. Hazoor Paak pbuh has said, in the time when the sahabi lived, Allah expected more from muslims when it comes to good deeds and quality. Because they were many, it was easier to do good deeds, with good quality. Hazoor Paak pbuh, said the time will come when holding to your deen is like holding to a coal of fire. Allah will expect less of the muslim, because it is very difficult for muslims to do deeds with good quality in times of fitnah. So no, we can`t excpect us muslim to be as good as the muslims of the sahabi era, but Allah doesn`t tell us to give up. We must struggle. Allah rewards us according to our struggle, niyah and ikhlas. So we must try to find ways that can help each other to remove pitfalls, so we can protect our own home and every muslim from the ummah, who is listening.
Your Charges Are Dropped, If You Marry Who You Raped
There is a country with many muslims. In that country, when a man rapes another woman, if he agrees to marry her, he will not get punished by the court. I don`t understand how it is possible that a country can make such rules. I do understand that this can`t be ok for the girl/woman who is raped. First of all, no girl / woman can be ok with marrying someone who doesn`t respect her. Someone who doesn`t respect a “no”. By letting these men of the hook, may put out the fire, but it won`t prevent more men to do the same. Easy way out. We rape her, we marry her for some time and divorce her when we want to. This is not ok. Instead of this rule, that country, should try to change the mindset of the younger teens and men, how to respect a girl/women. You might have other from the same gender in your family? A sister, a mother, a wife, a daughter. We must teach the male gender that they have to work on their self-control. Be in control of themselves in tough times. No matter what a girl, women does or says, nothing can justify a rape, in any way. But the girl and women, need to be responsible with how they behave. We have to be careful how we behave, in front of other men. We can revive the sunnah of modesty in our life.
Another side of the story, if a muslim girl/woman wears perfume, and goes outside where other non-mahram might be. This is not allowed, because men will experience fitnah. So some people asked a scholar, what if a man puts on perfume? A woman experience fitnah. Then what? Some scholars say the reason this is not applied to men, women don`t stalk men. But men can easily stalk a woman. Time is changing. Here in the west, the husbands, sons, brothers of our family, is a muslim minority. When they step out of their homes, most people they meet at school, college, work are men and women who are non-muslims. Non-muslim women has less barriers to interact with the opposite gender. At the same time single people are increasing in our country. Muslim mens modesty and faith, is very attractive. I`m talking about non-muslim women who are almost always being lusted by others, wherever they are. Many of them who get tired of this, wants to be loved for who they are not what they look like. It is not only a muslims identity to practice modesty, but can be seen in general in asian cultures, no matter what religion. Many non-muslim women easily fall in love with muslim men, because they see in them qualities they hardly find in their own people. So the fear of being stalked by a non-muslim women is not to fare fetched. A non-muslim woman can create more difficulties for muslim men who are in the struggle of correcting their hijab. The struggle becomes more dangerous. You can read any book about the struggle men have when a beautiful women is nearby. They struggle to perfect the hijab, is much more difficult. A readable book: what you need to know about the inner life of men, by shaunti Feldhahn.
Muslim Girls Who Travel Alone
Non-muslim girls and women aren`t the only who make the struggle harder for men. Because of the weak iman in many muslim girls and women, they can easily become a stalker themselves. Nowadays, it`s not seen as difficult, for a group of muslim girls/ women to go for a vacation without any mahram. Many travel only with their female friends to many countries. If a muslim girl can take the airplane to scotland, to visit a friend, or relax for a weekend trip, it can most certainly, not be difficult for her to find out about another male muslim, where he lives, matters about his life, and try to make him like her, and want to marry her. In other words, men who aren`t working on their hijab, and use perfume, and look good, will experience fitnah from non-muslim girls/women AND muslim girls/women. So yeah their struggle is real. I can`t say I want muslim men to not go outside, they are the provider. They have to. But they must be aware of these matters. Ya Allah, grant all muslim men of the ummah to win the struggle to perfect their hijab, in public and private. Protect them from experiencing fitnah and bad company. Aameen
Fear Of Tribulations For Both Genders
An aspect that is less talked about because of the tabu issue, is the fact that a girl/ woman raping a boy/ man. Just because it is less addressed doesn`t mean it doesn`t happen. Mostly men are seen as the strong, so it is very difficult for them to admit that a girl/ woman tried or succeeded in raping them. Since we already have realized the big tribulations are on rise, there are girls/women who are guilty of this. This is a very sensitive topic. But it needs to be addressed. The numbers are unknown. This is a very important reason, why muslim girls / women must be helped to correct their hijab by their family, friends or the muslim women leaders of the community. When a girl/ woman says she has been raped, everyone immediately, accepts that as the truth, because she is the weak part, most of the times. When boys / men have been raped, it`s more difficult for them to complain to the police, because of shame of being man and weak. If and when they feel that, they need to read the surah Yusuf, chapter of Quran. Both gender can experience someone trying to seduce them. We must help each other and all the community to find solutions, and help to protect every marriage in the community. Ya Allah, make it easy for all the ummah to win the constant struggle of perfecting our hijab, in public and private. Ya Allah grant every ummati to master their self-control in public and private. Ya Allah, grant the ummah to win the struggle of protecting ourself and each other from bad company. Ya Allah, help all the ummati to win the struggle of being in good company all the time. Don`t let bad qualities have any effect on any ummati. Inspire the muslim women/men leaders, to address their followers about this, in a way that will have good effect on those listening. Aameen