Many people often neglect children’s need to be seen and heard and valued for who they are, where their abilities are appreciated regardless of their siblings or friends achievements. A childs joy, when their parents listen attentively, and value all the siblings individually, when they are together as a family, is important. Often we wonder why some adults are so quiet and not into talking that much. When they grow up amongst many siblings, where some are very dominating, it is obvious that other doesn`t get that much chance to blossom or show their abilities. It could lead to they not cultivate their talents as much as their potential. People in general grow better in the right environment. Since everyone has different needs, we grow the best in different places. Seeing your child as the individual he/she is and value them for who they are, without comparison to other, is important.
Sitting at the dinner table with the family, and giving everyone chance to respond and talk to the family, is must, no matter how old they are, because their opinions need to be valued, to make them feel that they also have important opinions. Who hasn`t heard a toddler or a young child say something that is beyond his/her age. By excluding some children from the conversations, we can damage their self-esteem, and prevent them from believing in themselves. The saying “ghar ki murghi daal barabar”, is quite funny and accurate to prove the point. People outside of the family, sees so much potential in a child, while within the family, he/she can be neglected.
Values Are More Important Than Education
Our parents might have had this way of raising us. If we havent learned from their mistakes, we have not learned anything worthwhile. What can be more important than moulding our next generation into beautiful/giving people with good values who has the confidence to stand for what they believe in. I`m sure if we ask our friends all of them has something to point out about how they got raised by their parents. Good solid education won`t do any good for anyone, if the conduct, character, morals, manners, self-esteem etc are not cultivated and sound.
When You Are On Right, You Will Be Rewarded
Teaching children that nothing comes in this world without hard work. There is no elevator to success, everyone has to take the stairs, one step at a time, as long as you work hard and abide by the rules, you are a winner, no matter the outcome. Even if others doesn`t value your efforts know that Allah sees your struggles and will reward you, in this life and next. A good environment starts at home and as the child grows older other places like kindergarten, school, college, work and friends will have an impact on them. If we don`t cheer our children for their achievements, no matter how small, they will find someone who does. And that someone isn`t necessarily a good influence on them. For them to have a solid confidence to say no to bad things, they must have a good dose of self-esteem and confidence, that is taught from their early years. When children realize that Allah will reward, they will turn to Him, instead of other people for validation. Help them see the beauty in their conduct and character not their appearance. Having a rich character, makes one feel good. The only way to feel good is to know that you are doing something right, and having trust that you will be rewarded for it by Allah.
Treat them as individuals. Cheering them for having good conduct, character, and filling their bucket of esteem and confidence, and cultivating good values in them, will help them in all their struggles in life. Helping them believe in themselves will make it easier for them to cope with challenges. There is no bigger favour a parent can do for his/her child. Being fair so that no one is excluded and everyone gets a fair chance to speak, is important. It proclaims a message of equality. We need to be fair when some of the children are more dominating. When we teach children to listen to each other, they will of course do that. Growing up in an environment where we can`t express our views without fear of being ridiculed by other siblings, is damaging. The parents can make rules for a healthy conversation/discussion at home and make sure that they are also followed. Since the parents are the shepherds of the family, they need to make sure that their children are under good care and that their individual needs are filled and they are given space where they grow best. They will be questioned about their care, from Allah.