Marriage is a serious bond between a husband and a wife, and one should be ready for it before we commit ourselves to it. Often we see that people who come to a certain age want to get married. Most often they haven`t thought well enough about the reasons behind their decision. Marriage is not only a way of having halal intimacy. Marriage is about a companionship where the spouses support each other through tough and good times, where their aim is to achieve Jannah and spend their eternity there together. It is a means for having righteous offspring that will work for the betterment of their society in both religious and social matters. Children that one day will become good contributors to their environment, and send good deeds to their parents way after they have left the world to the next and be those that Rasollallah pbuh will say that they will go to Jannah.
Compete in matters for a better Hereafter
It is important that men whom want to commit themselves understand the fact that they are the ones whom has the overall financial responsibility. Even if their wife has an income, she is not obliged to spend any of it on the family. And being ready for children. Their upbringing is just as much the father’s responsibility as the mother. We need to understand that some people whom aren`t even ready for kids get a bunch of them, and some people whom are eager to get children, might not get as much or maybe not even one. Rizk is not in our hands. Rizk is in Allah`s hands. He is trying us through it. Some people are tested through difficulties, others are tested through ease. There shouldn`t be any competition between couples that others have four kids so we need to beat them to it and have one more. The society has become such a difficult place to be. We are competing in things that doesn`t matter rather than the few points that matter the most. Lets compete in doing good deeds, lets compete in having righteous children rather than many, lets compete in learning more of the deen, not to show off, but to make others also want to become muslims or better people than they were before, let’s try to be better people than we were yesterday, or the minute before now. Improvement not to make us feel superior but to achieve Jannah and help others on the way.
Things money can`t buy
After marriage the most important thing wife would want is your time. That means that you cannot whenever you prefer it, go out with your friends. You need to give your wife your time. It is not enough to just be the provider. Both the wife and the husband feels loved in different ways with different love language. You will have to learn that from the start. You can read more of that here : 5 Love Languages In Marriage. We can`t either expect that the spouses will be in-love all the time. They will have disagreements and quarrels. How they handle them will determine what the future of their marriage is. That is why it is important to know how your apology will be accepted by your spouse. You can read that here : Do you know the art of apologizing?
Be there in good and bad times
The family and the parents of the fiancée must be certain that the couple is ready for marriage. It is not like a sale, where you have money-back guarantees within three months. When we first do commit, we should do it with the intention that we are going to Jannah together. Trust is essential. If one of the spouses always has the backdoor open and threatens with leaving whenever they face any difficulty than that person wasn`t ready for the bond. When one commits one does that in hope for being there for each other in good and bad times supporting and inspiring and motivating each other to become better people for forever. Anything less than that should not be accepted. If your goal is Jannah you will choose a righteous spouse. When we first do commit, we should give it a 100%.
Make marriages affordable
Expensive marriages should not be encouraged. Like in all other matters of life, there is also competition in having the most expensive marriage. If fla fla person has a marriage in a ship another has to have a degree more expensive so they choose an airplane. The more expensive the marriage the more it has to be delayed, wich will cause more fear of fitnah. Keep it simple and affordable. Less tension and less troubles and more joy. Let the couple rather save some of their money on their life after marriage than becoming bankrupt after marriage. The simpler the marriage is the more barakah/blessings the couple will derive from it. In the Prophet pbuh`s time there were a few sahabis whom didn`t have any money to give the mehr. Once Rasollallah pbuh said to one such person that he can use his knowledge as mehr. So even that didn`t make Rasollallah pbuh stop him from getting married. Rizk is in Allah`s hand. One day we have a lot, other times we have little. There is no guarantee that a rich person doesn`t become poor in one day or a poor person becomes rich in one day. Allah decides. Since we will be tested in both ease and difficulty, we need to overlook this and give more attention to righteousness of the spouse. If the spouse fears Allah, he/she will treat you right no matter what, because he/she knows that he/she will be answerable to Allah for it on Judgement Day. May Allah increase the barakah in every marriage and make every marriage easy for the people concerned, grant them contentment and re-unite every couple in Jannah/Paradise. Ameen summa ameen.