You never know how your positive encouragement can help people. Just because one of the youths you know are misbehaving in any way, it does not imply that they will always be like that. It is our responsibility to look for the good in others and encourage them to improve themselves. Just because a person is having trouble of some kind in their young age is not a hinder for them to later on in their life, become succesful. I`m sure you have heard about a hadith, where our Prophet Muhammad pbuh says: “In the last years before judgement there will be people whom start their life as good people but later become bad people, and some that starts their life as bad people but later get guided from above. We do not know what kind of death a person will have. So it is extremely important that we understand and emphasize when talking to the youth that no matter how much a person messes up, the door to get back to Allah is always open, as long as they are breathing they can change for the better. We should never lose hope.
Teacher of Life
Often we see that people give naseeha to youngster in a way that instead of making them better makes them go beyond what is wrong. It is very important that we think well through what we say and how we say it and our body language matches what we are saying. The generations of our parents had different upbringing than us. Most of them were taught good manners even though they didn`t have the most degrees. They had the teacher of life and more respect towards teachers, elders, and knowledgable people like Imams. Now we see that these things are diminishing in our society. For starters we are living in an un-islamic society here in the West. A society that proclaims values that doesn`t match our values. It is a free society where the religion is often seen as something private, and often not allowed to practice in public areas. Like for instance it is forbidden to use niqab in some schools or public areas in some countries in the West.
Education about marriage before marriage
We see that our parents marry their children in a very young age without giving them proper education about how a marriage works and how one raises children. We often seen that a lot of young muslim parents living abroad lose their children to the childcare system. Mostly because their way of children’s upbringing collides with the rules in the country they live in. In Norway we see an increasing number of young parents where they have been reported to the childcare, because of this. We are the biggest losers in this, because some of the times, the children that are taken away from their families in an early age, are not taught the values that we stand for.
Children mature earlier now
It is very important for the dai`s in today`s society to explain to parents how to give naseeha to youngster. When our parents where kids, their parents told them do this or don`t do that and they listened to them. Nowadays children are more intelligent than at that time. Mostly because of that they are exposed to technology in an early age and the society they live in the west, teach a lot of things very early. To make these kids understand why you can do something and why you can`t is not that easy if you don`t know how to speak to them. Often you have to talk to them with respect. You have to explain why these things are good/bad for them, with real life examples so they can comprehend it. You have to talk with them like you are on the same level. I have read once that when you want to stop your child that is to years old, you should sit down so that you are both at the same height and look into his/her eyes and say what you want to say when you have his fully attention. That is because you want him/her to think like you are on the same level. The same goes to young adults.
Give naseeha privately
When you talk with youngsters, talk with the right intention of wanting them to change, without looking down at them. After all it can all be an misunderstanding. We only see through our personal glasses that are made of our values. The youngsters intentions could have been something else. Choose the right timing. Hate the deed, not the person. Give naseeha privately, so you don`t emberass them in front of other family members or their friends or even a stranger. The youth is in such a delicate age when they have to find out about a lot of things, like who they are and what they`re identity is and what they want to do with their life. At the same time all these different kinds of feeling are in them which they have to understand. They are in a very tender age, and need extra care. The last they would need is an adult that looks down on them, is too strict, and tells them what to do without explaining why it is good for them. Last but not least, come with real pointers about how they can stop something or begin with something. Give them the recipe for it from A to Z. Use humour in a way they would understand to catch their attention and use it as a medicine.
If you follow these tools, than in sha Allah, you will make a difference in their life. It is very important to understand the people one is giving advice to, rather than being to enthusiastic and give it in the wrong way. It all could boil down to them change for the better or make them even worse than before. It is very important that we are wise in the tools we use. May Allah help us help others. Ameen summa ameen.