It is not easy to forgive. It takes a lot of courage to do so. But then again it is the only way one can experience true peace as well. People who keep grudges for a long time are making their own life very miserable. When they can`t forgive because someone did something to them, they should first ask themselves. Did i do something that caused this? For instance if your behaviour some way caused something to happen to you it could be that it`s your own fault. Then why keep grudges against someone else, when you should blame yourself for it? Sometimes one gets blinded by oneself that one can hardly see the points of others. Those thoughts keep feeding the grudges and keep them alive for a long time. An example, your own daughter said something disrespectful to you and you are angry because of it. Actually what happened is that you treated her unfairly and finally she got enough of it and she couldn`t stop her anger. If you don`t try to find the underlying reasons behind her anger you would never be able to patch up with her again like you were before. Therefore it is very easy to see that B slapped C, but what you maybe don`t know is that C was being mean to B. So don`t judge anyone before you know the whole story.
Anyhow it is very important to bring out the good in you and forgive others when they have done something to you. After all, don`t you want Allah to forgive you? If you don`t forgive people, than how can you expect Allah to forgive you? We do so many mistakes day in and day out and hope and expect that Allah will forgive us our mistakes. Though some people make one mistake and they are out. Of course you don`t have to be best friends like before but at least don`t treat those people in a bad way.
Our Prophet has always emphasized the importance of brotherhood in Islam. No white person is better than a black person and no rich person is better than any poor person. If someone is better than another person it is their piety (fear of Allah) that has made them of higher rank than others. In a hadith narrated by Abu Hurayra raa the Prophet (pbuh) has said:
“It is not permissible for a man to be estranged from a believer for more than three days. If three days have passed, then he should go and give salaam to him; if he returns the salaam, then both of them will have share in the reward, and if he does not respond from the one who gave salaam, will be absolved of the sin of estrangement”. Bukhari
The longest the time of estrangement the greater the sin on the people who are not talking and patching things up. The doors of Jannah could also close for the people who don`t reconcile. In a hadith the Prophet (pbuh) said:
“The doors of Paradise opened on Monday and Thursday, and any servant who doesn`t associate anything with Allah will be forgiven, except for the man who bear grudges against his brother. It will be said: ” Wait for these two until they reconcile, wait for these two until they reconcile, wait for these two until they reconcile”. Muslim
Forgiving someone is not a source of humiliation or shame but a source of raising ones honour in the sight of Allah. The Prophet (pbuh) has said:
” Allah will not increase His servant when he forgives except honour. Noone humbles himself for the sake of Allah but Allah will raise his status”. Muslim
It is very important that one doesn`t bear grudges or resentment against ones brother and sisters in Islam for a longer while than three days. Our Prophet has taught us how important it is to not let our own self get in the way of our end. If we do as the Prophet (pbuh) has taught us we will in sha Allah be succesful in this world and the Hereafter. For the sake of Allah forgive those that has wronged you, and move on. Allah loves those who forgive and those who do good. Lets try our best to be that great exemplified ambassadors of Islam In sha Allah.
Source – The ideal Muslimah.