I remember when I finished high school, I was so happy. Although i didn`t experience direct bullying, but there was so much pressure on us by our classmates to wear the right brand of clothes, and to hang with the cool people, and have a lot of friends. I was relieved when I carried on my education at the University that there were all kinds of students there. In our class we had classmates from being in the fifties and me only eighteen years old. It was a huge gap but at least we saw that people can be different, and there`s nothing wrong with that. I enjoyed that time.
When I see kids on the bus that are going through the same phase, as me, going to high school, I wish I could reach out and say, it`s ok to be different, you don`t always have to fit in the crowd, you don`t have to follow the people who are so-called cool to get more influence, or hang with the people who bully you.
I haven often thought that parents should teach their children self-respect from when they are very young, so they can fight back when people misbehave with them. They should know where the line goes, and when to say enough is enough. They should know when it`s time to talk to an adult because things have gone way out of their hands to handle.
Schools in Oslo has always had a anti-bullying-campaign every year, and some schools are doing outstanding work to teach children to respect each other no matter what ethnicity, race or color they have.
Although teachers or parents are not the best to see that the children are having a tough time at school or are being bullied. That`s why it`s so important that parents know their children so that they can help them out of it.
Nowadays also the media Facebook, twitter and other places is a place where lot of bullying is happening. Parents can`t always see that. Sometimes friends would post pictures of each other to make fun of them. Who can be there to be a nanny to prevent such stuff? The parents love their children and they should make sure that their children are not being bullied. A good dialogue and friendship with children is the keyword here.
It`s not as easy to talk to a parent in the family, sometimes another adult in the family an aunt or uncle can be easier to talk to. So we all should be well-aware of what kind of signals the children are sending out.
There`s no age attached to bullying, it can happen in all ages. Bullies come in every age and can be at work also. It`s very important to have a good dialogue with ones employee, so that if this occurs there, one can stop it as soon as possible. Many times a lot can be done, but sometimes it`s better to change work.
What`s important is that there will always be some people whom you get along with, and no matter where you are there will always be some people you don`t get along with. That is ok. Though every person should have a sence of self-respect in them, so that they can have the courage to stand up against the mob, to say, that you don`t want them to bully you. It takes a lot of confidence, and support from good friends or family. Ultimately it is up to us whether we take a stand or not.
I have been bullied a few times by people, so what keeps me going is that, if this is how they are behaving towards me, one day they will get it back, somehow. I also think, that probably the people whom bully others are having a tough time themselves, but they are not able to do anything about it, so they are taking out their anger on the people whom they interact with daily. So sometimes being extra kind to the bully might change him/her.
We as a society do also have a responsibility to take action against bully’s if we see that someone is being bullied. After all the generations that are growing up now are going to take care of the country when they are old enough. So why shouldn`t we teach them the right universal values, so that they take good care of the country when we`re no more? We all have to open our eyes and not be afraid of taking action, what we need is brave parents, teachers and adults. Adults whom know how to have a talk with the bully to take control of the situation. Would you have been able to cope with your children being bullied by a lot of people? No one wants that to happen to their own flesh, so why are we closing your eyes when the person is, black, brown or yellow. It`s time we try to make a difference by being fair. Every person has feelings, no matter if you know them or not.
And to the bully, think about this next time, what if your children one day, will get bullied by their surroundings? I don`t think YOU would appreciate that, would you? Remember the person you are bullying is someone`s kid, and one day it could happen to someone you care about, so why not stop the chain so that it never happens again. Take control of your situation and talk to someone whom can help you, an adult in your family, if not your parents, or a teacher at school. If you are nice to people, you would probably start an epidemic of niceness and finally you would get the niceness back somehow, because it is contagious. Why not start an epidemic of nice attitude?
May Allah protect us all from being bullied and never make our life that hard that we become the bullier. Ameen summa ameen.