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old couple love - love for the sake of allahThere can be said a lot about the difference between love and lust. Mix gender relationships nowadays are very normal these days. If you aren`t “with” anyone you are “gay”. As long as you have friendships people are cool with you, you`re one of them. It isn`t difficult for anyone to find someone to be with or marry. What is difficult is to find that person you know is going to be with you even when your appearance isn`t like a 20-year-old or hold your hand on the way to Jannah.

 

Love versus Lust

Marriages are built on many qualities, and lust is not one of them. When you desire someone because of their physical beauty that is lust. When you put precedence to conduct and character before beauty, you are giving values more preference. When people marry someone because of their looks, they forget that looks will eventually fade in some years. When they no longer have the outer beauty, you start to look outside for those who have it.

 

Looks can lie

Most of the muslim marriages are arranged by a third-party. Love marriages are on the rise. As a muslim even if you know your fiancée before marriage, it will mostly only be based on what people have said about him/her. You won`t get to know the person before the couple gets married/nikah. Why you choose the spouse you choose will have a great effect on the marriage. When people look at beauty rather than conduct/character they miss the most essential part of that person. Looks can lie. You will have to live with the spouses character for the rest of your life.

 

Marriages that increases in love

Love that is build after marriage with good conduct, loyalty, trust, friendship, will increase with time. These spouses see the beauty in each other despite of their grey hair and wrinkles, or the extra pounds.  Actually it increases them in beauty. They married each other for many years ago but fell in love with the same person every time. It is the small gestures, that builds the bond. Taking care of each other despite the fact that you just had a fight. Doing so many things for each other because you want to make your spouse happy, not to get something in return. The unconditional love. They know each other love language and how to express it. There is nothing more beautiful than an old couple that are in love, supporting each other. They have gone through good and bad times together, laughed and cried together, had their disagreements, but still been there for each other. That is beauty. They didn`t start praying for each other after marriage, but from their teens when other friends started making friendships, they started praying for a companion. Their death won`t depart them. They will meet again in Paradise to spend eternity together. Inspiring, motivating and striving to make each other better because you want to see each other in Jannah, that is real love.

 

beauty2We have been taught in a young age through media and magazines that if we are not in a certain color size or shape, no one will like us. If we want to be anything we have to have good looks, regardless of our intelligence. I think it has rather become even worse nowadays, when children at a very young age are so obsessed about their looks and clothing. The media promotes that if you don`t have the right looks, you won`t succeed at all.

Good people are always beautiful
It is not the physical appearance of a person that tells us whether a person is good or not. It is the character. If you meet someone with good looks but cruel of nature, would you like that person? On the other hand, if you meet someone whom is of average looks, but is so easy to talk with and makes you feel comfortable, would you have liked that person? I guess, looks matters only for the first impression, but it doesn`t tell you the truth. Beautiful people aren`t always nice, but nice people regardless of their looks, are always beautiful. Their character shines through their good behaviour.

There is so much more to friendship
When we put a standard of whom we are going to interact with based on the looks of people, we can easily come into a circle of friends that may look great beside you, but are they good, trustable, supportive friends? We cannot make that judgement on those criteria. It is so much more to friendship than that.

Status higher than angels
Why do girls wear make-up? When they feel good about themselves, are happy or because they think they aren`t good enough, compared to others? When do we use perfume? When we are fresh or when we want to hide a foul smell? If we feel good about ourselves regardless of our looks, we will spread good thoughts into the community. If we always feel inadequate because the media or our surrounding tells us that we aren`t good according to their standards, that could break us down, and make us feel quite low. The only way to feel good about oneself, is to develop self-esteem that tells us that we are irreplaceable, one of a kind, a creation of Allah that can achieve a higher status than angels.

What makes you feel beautiful?
We usually feel good when we do good deeds, and bad when we do bad deeds. If we keep giving ourselves positive self-talk about the good that we do, we would increase our feeling of self-esteem. When people feel good about themselves, they don`t need validation from outside. So they don`t need to dress to impress, but they`ll rather dress in a modest way, because they will feel beautiful from the inside. It`s something else to look beautiful and something else to feel beautiful. When we are good and spread goodness, we feel good about ourselves. Not necessarily because we get a good feedback from our surroundings, but because we have realized that if we do what Allah wants us to do, He will be satisfied with us, and there is no better achievement than that. If we do something that angers Allah, His wrath may descend on us and that will make us feel bad and anxious.

love prophet muhammad pbuh

Our teachers are a inspiration
Everyone one of us has a talent in us. It is up to us, our teachers/leaders to cultivate it, and inspire us and motivate us to let it grow and utilize it for our own benefit and for the benefit of the society. We need to teach the children that beauty is not mere looks, but good character. If we help our children/youth increase their self-esteem and sence of self-worth, they won`t let the media control them, because they`ll know that they are one of a kind. When we know our worth we won`t degrade ourselves to let everyone see us, but rather hide our beauty for the one that truly deserves us. If we teach them the value of decent character, they will try to cultivate it. The best example is by our actions. If we lead with good conduct, also the children will feel inspired to the same path. The best feeling is achieved by sincerely doing good deeds and being helpful with what we have capacity to manage. May Allah help us understand what beauty actually is, and make our character a reflection of Prophet Muhammad pbuh`s way of living. Ameen summa ameen.

jannah, paradise, hold hand, finally we are here, spouse, marriage, coupleMarriage is a serious bond between a husband and a wife, and one should be ready for it before we commit ourselves to it. Often we see that people who come to a certain age want to get married. Most often they haven`t thought well enough about the reasons behind their decision. Marriage is not only a way of having halal intimacy. Marriage is about a companionship where the spouses support each other through tough and good times, where their aim is to achieve Jannah and spend their eternity there together. It is a means for having righteous offspring that will work for the betterment of their society in both religious and social matters. Children that one day will become good contributors to their environment, and send good deeds to their parents way after they have left the world to the next and be those that Rasollallah pbuh will say that they will go to Jannah.

 

Compete in matters for a better Hereafter

It is important that men whom want to commit themselves understand the fact that they are the ones whom has the overall financial responsibility. Even if their wife has an income, she is not obliged to spend any of it on the family. And being ready for children. Their upbringing is just as much the father’s responsibility as the mother. We need to understand that some people whom aren`t even ready for kids get a bunch of them, and some people whom are eager to get children, might not get as much or maybe not even one. Rizk is not in our hands. Rizk is in Allah`s hands. He is trying us through it. Some people are tested through difficulties, others are tested through ease. There shouldn`t be any competition between couples that others have four kids so we need to beat them to it and have one more. The society has become such a difficult place to be. We are competing in things that doesn`t matter rather than the few points that matter the most. Lets compete in doing good deeds, lets compete in having righteous children rather than many, lets compete in learning more of the deen, not to show off, but to make others also want to become muslims or better people than they were before, let’s try to be better people than we were yesterday, or the minute before now. Improvement not to make us feel superior but to achieve Jannah and help others on the way.

 

Things money can`t buy

After marriage the most important thing wife would want is your time. That means that you cannot whenever you prefer it, go out with your friends. You need to give your wife your time. It is not enough to just be the provider. Both the wife and the husband feels loved in different ways with different love language. You will have to learn that from the start. You can read more of that here : 5 Love Languages In Marriage.  We can`t either expect that the spouses will be in-love all the time. They will have disagreements and quarrels. How they handle them will determine what the future of their marriage is. That is why it is important to know how your apology will be accepted by your spouse. You can read that here : Do you know the art of apologizing?

 

Be there in good and bad times

The family and the parents of the fiancée must be certain that the couple is ready for marriage. It is not like a sale, where you have money-back guarantees within three months. When we first do commit, we should do it with the intention that we are going to Jannah together. Trust is essential. If one of the spouses always has the backdoor open and threatens with leaving whenever they face any difficulty than that person wasn`t ready for the bond. When one commits one does that in hope for being there for each other in good and bad times supporting and inspiring and motivating each other to become better people for forever. Anything less than that should not be accepted. If your goal is Jannah you will choose a righteous spouse. When we first do commit, we should give it a 100%.

 

Make marriages affordable

Expensive marriages should not be encouraged. Like in all other matters of life, there is also competition in having the most expensive marriage. If fla fla person has a marriage in a ship another has to have a degree more expensive so they choose an airplane. The more expensive the marriage the more it has to be delayed, wich will cause more fear of fitnah. Keep it simple and affordable. Less tension and less troubles and more joy. Let the couple rather save some of their money on their life after marriage than becoming bankrupt after marriage. The simpler the marriage is the more barakah/blessings the couple will derive from it. In the Prophet pbuh`s time there were a few sahabis whom didn`t have any money to give the mehr. Once Rasollallah pbuh said to one such person that he can use his knowledge as mehr. So even that didn`t make Rasollallah pbuh stop him from getting married. Rizk is in Allah`s hand. One day we have a lot, other times we have little. There is no guarantee that a rich person doesn`t become poor in one day or a poor person becomes rich in one day. Allah decides. Since we will be tested in both ease and difficulty, we need to overlook this and give more attention to righteousness of the spouse. If the spouse fears Allah, he/she will treat you right no matter what, because he/she knows that he/she will be answerable to Allah for it on Judgement Day. May Allah increase the barakah in every marriage and make every marriage easy for the people concerned, grant them contentment and re-unite every couple in Jannah/Paradise. Ameen summa ameen.

brotherhood1There is a lot of malice and hatred between muslims of different madhabs. A lot of people in social media use more time in explaining why some brother from another madhabs is wrong in something instead of giving isla or dawa in general stuff people lack. Instead of strengthening the bond of brotherhood in Islam, we are having some serious issues of unity. We are fighting each other instead of being together against our enemies. The non-muslims are taking advantage of this and putting oil to the fire, and we behaving like puppies. We don`t understand that we are hurting only ourselves.

 

The Ummah Needs Unity

Without unity how are we able to cope with the difficulties the Ummah is facing today? Rather than correcting each others madhabs aalims why can`t we talk about those things that we agree about? There will always be some differences, that doesn`t mean that we should not be able to co-operate. We can rather look at the benefit our cooperation can help the Ummah whom is in a very difficult time. We need to show mercy to each other, and help each other when any of us falls.

 

Trust Is Diminishing

I listen to story`s from my parents that things were different before. Nowadays we have difficulties trusting even our own family, than how on earth will we be able to trust someone from outside, muslim or not. There is a hadith from the Messenger of Allah pbuh that there will come a time that when the muslims will start to fight each other, than Allah will not help them. Isn`t that what has happened. Our Ummah is bleeding on different places and we are not helping or caring for each other. Greed, jealousy, animosity, envy, hatred, backbiting, pride, bitterness is ruining us.

 

Deen Is Easy Don`t Make It Difficult

The Messenger of Allah pbuh said, that if one brother proposes to a woman, than the other brother is not allowed to propose to the same girl, until one of them turns down the proposal. Nowadays, sending a proposal is one thing, but people are deliberately putting hurdles in the way of other to get married, making troubles for them, that could lead them to haram consequences. If one person turns down a proposal, the people whom were denied put hurdles in the person’s life so that they`ll regret that they ever did that. Even if they later are not interested, but just so that those whom are more blessed than them gets turned down. What is their fault? They came in their way? They forgot the fact that our hearts are in the hands of Allah and he turns them wherever he wants. If you sincerely want something turn to Allah, instead of the creation. Using haram tactics to win, will not give any barakah in the marriage, but rather cause trouble. To win has become more important than the goal. People don`t think about whether they use halal or haram ways to achieve their goal. Belittling other and putting hurdles in their way so that they lose has become common.

i am to busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener

 

Water Your Own Grass 

What has come to the world, when a brother or sister in Islam can`t swallow the fact that some people are a tad more blessed than them. So instead of watering their own grass, they put hurdles in others life. It has become a crime to be succesful. Why can`t we instead try to water our own grass, before we complain that others grass is more greener?

 

 

The Best Of Us Are Those With Highest Taqwa

Muslims with different colors and ethnicities are hating each other because they feel that they are better than the other because of their heritage, color etc. Isn`t that one of the things our Messenger pbuh fought to diminish. He said that no one is better than another no matter what their wealth, position, color or ethnicity is. If one of them are better than the other it is the one with the best taqwa / godfear that has the highest status. Haven`t we often seen that people with lesser positions in dunya, for instance someone whom is a cleaner, leads the salah, where people whom are wealthy is praying behind him. That is because the cleaner is with more knowledge of the deen than those in prayer behind him. Or the fact that everyone in prayer,  no matter what status they have in dunya are standing beside each other in prayer. No one is ahead of anyone else, except for the Imam. We are all going into the same place in graveyard no matter how much wealth we collect. We have definitely forgotten the teachings of our Prophet pbuh when some people are behaving superior of others.

 

Preferring Beauty Over Deen

Isn`t it a shame that people with good deen but not the best beauty have difficulty in getting married. People give preference to insignificant matters when they are looking for a spouse. The browner you are, the less proposals you get. Shouldn`t our first priority be to check if the deen is ok? How on earth will a man be able to lead his family in Islam, if he doesn`t know even the basics of Islam. How on earth is a woman going to be a good wife, if she doesn`t give any importance to Islam in her life.

 

What is our solution?

  1. Like the Messenger of Allah pbuh has said, wish for your brother what you wish for yourself.
  2. If he is blessed in one thing, you might be blessed in something he lacks. We are all blessed differently, try to count your blessings when you see others are doing better than you.
  3. In deen look at those better than you, in dunya look at those below you.
  4. Remember: with every blessing there are also difficulties, with every difficulty there are also blessings.
  5. Instead of becoming jealous or envious of others, water your own grass, and see that the fruit of hard labour does give results.
  6. If you fall back at start, remember there must have been some lesson in the game of life you didn`t learn what you needed to learn to reach to the goal. So life threw you back to start, to teach it to you.
  7. Look at what we have in common instead of what differs us. Our goal should be to better the condition of the Ummah. That is not one-man-job. We can only do that if we unite and help each other instead of throwing stones at each other. The youth can become lost while we are discussing petty differences, that doesn`t mean anything in the long run.
  8. Look for deen rather than beauty. People with good character becomes more and more beautiful as the years pass by, regardless of their physical appearance. If you both are on deen, there is much chance you will re-unite in Paradise. Shouldn`t that be our ultimate goal?
  9. Learning from others`s mistakes is intelligence. That is a great way to raise the status and condition of the Ummah from generation to generation.

We need to check ourselves before Allah does it. May Allah help us perfect and complete our light and strengthen our brotherhood and guide the Ummah to do good in all our endeavors. Ameen summa ameen

destiny, worry, decree,You know when you fall from eleventh floor to ground zero a couple of times in the elevator, you learn that it is better to take the stairs, at least the risk of falling would be somewhat less there. We spend our whole life planning for that vacation, project, education, wedding or children. Most often we forget that we are not the best of planners, but Allah is. Often the circumstance changes and we have to make a new plan. It is actually because we are not in control of what is going to happen in our life. Allah is in control. He knows what we need and gives us what we need, not always what we want. Sometimes because He knows that what we want might be hurtful for us, either now or maybe sometime in the future. So He re-directs us to something else. Most probably years after we thought we`d die if we wouldn`t achieve something, we are actually living a more happy and contented life, without that thing or achievement.

 

He Gives Even To Those Whom Don`t Ask Him

No one is in control of what is going to happen to them, but we are in control of our reaction to it. Instead of cursing the fall and wailing, we should be content about what happens, and have faith that Allah knows what He is doing. He gives to does that doesn`t ask Him, how can we think that He wouldn`t give to those whom remember and prays to Him throughout their day. Sometimes most often we make a cup of tea or some food for some guests. In the meanwhile some other guests come before the ones it supposedly was made for. So they eat and drink the food instead. For example you have a cup of coffee, you take the cup to you mouth to take a sip. Suddenly you spill the coffee. It wasn`t in your destiny. Allah had written that you weren`t supposed to drink it.

 

Ask For The Shoe-lace

That is exactly why the alims quote our Prophet Muhammad in the famous hadith about the shoelace. Where, Mother of the Ummah Aisha raa was told from the her husband pbuh, if you don`t ask Allah for that shoelace you wanted, and he doesn`t make a decree about the fact that you are going to have it, no power in the universe can give you that shoe-lace. So instead of putting the power in your own hands. Put it to the one who can, Allah. Have faith in Him and His Decisions. If and when you want something, pray to Allah for it and work to achieve it. If it is decreed by Allah, no one can take it away from you, and if it isn`t decreed for you nothing can make it yours. If you get what you want, be happy, and if you don`t get what you want, be happier because than Allah has something better in store for you. What you and everyone else need to do is to show some patience and have trust in His Giving. We are not in charge here, Only Allah is. And He knows what He is doing, but we don`t. Surrender to the will of Allah. May Allah help and preserve each and every person. And remember supplication can change qadar / destiny.

butterfly - tough times reveal true friendsEven if you keep on telling a lie a hundred times, it will still remain a lie. If the truth is left unsaid, it will still remain as the truth. People lie so much nowadays that it is seen as something normal, which you have to do in your everyday life, if you wish to survive in this cruel world. Of course some lies are allowed even in Islam. For example when our Prophet Muhammad pbuh and Abu Bakr Siddiq raa made hijrat to medina they met a lot of different people on the way. When some of them asked Abu Bakr raa who the person with him was, he said, “he is my guide”. Those people understood it as being a guide of the roads in this world. But in reality he raa meant guide in the meaning of the Hereafter, Paradise, to prosper etc. It was allowed because they were in danger and people would have told their enemies about their whereabouts.

A siddiqin and a liar can never be the same

A person whom tells a lot of lies, will not be seen as a siddiqin, the same way a person whom speaks the truth, will not be seen as a liar. It is told in an hadith that when the end will be near, lying will become so normal, that people will say that in that place and that town, that person whom lives there and there is truthful. Because there will be so few of them, they will be easy to recognize, and people will know who he/she is.

A real life story

In 1.grade at school, my mother bought me a pen that could write in seven colors. I could just click on the color I wanted and the writing would come in the color I chose. One day another classmate, stole my pen, and put her own pen in it`s place, which was almost like the one I had, but not the same thing. When I recognized my pen being in her stuff, I talked to the teacher. Obviously the teacher didn`t have any solid proof from any side, as it was my words against hers. I told mum about it and she said, we will buy you a new one. That day never came, but I realized one thing, no matter how well you know a friend, you can never be 100% sure that the same thing wouldn`t happen again. This lesson has followed me through my life, and I have understood, that not every person is going to be happy when you achieve something. Some people will try to put obstacles in your way, and some will envy you. Therefore when you are succesful, it is not always that smart to spread the word out. We need to understand whom are our well-wishers, and only share these kinds of victories with them. We also know that the evil eye is true, so sometimes we need to tone down a bit before sharing some good news.

Trust yourself

It is also important that we trust our instinct, and don`t fall in the trap other people put in our way. When we know the truth, even if the whole world is saying something else, we should be strong and bold enough to stand on our rights, and be confident. You know, the whole world can say that your “turban” is black/purple/blue/yellow, as long as you know that it`s white, you should disregard what others say, and not give their statements any value or attention. Or simply nod and smile. A lot of people say a lot of bad words about Islam and muslims, but we know we are on the right. That doesn`t mean that we should stay quiet when others say bad things about us. But is sure means that we should choose our battles wisely, and that sometimes it is better to just be quiet and smile. Sometimes people say something, and later on they have to eat their own words, because they are proven wrong. As a wise person once said : “Be good, but don`t waste time to prove it”.

Check out and click on site www . Purify Your Gaze . com

https://purifyyourgaze.com/

My Prayer..

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light.” Ameen

Bukhari and Muslim

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Surah 105 Al Fil

Let not man be intoxicated with power, Or material resourses, They cannot defeat. The purpose of Allah. So Abrahah Ashram Found to his cost. His sacrilegious attack On the holy Fane of Allah brought about His own undoing:what seemed but frail Destroyed his mighty hosts in a day!

The foolproof tip of the day for everyone else!

USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO RAISE YOUR OPINION!

Nasiyat..

(",) My Mum always says that
you should marry someone
who loves you more than you
love him, because that man
would never ever make you cry
or be the reason that your
sheding tears. He would do
anything to always keep you
happy and satisfied (",)

Poetry

(“,) Your heart is mine and mine is yours, and so it`s been since I`ve known love`s true meaning itself, holding each others hand we stand together beneath the lovely sky, gazing towards the same destiny, just U and I (“,)

Naat/hamd-Quote of the moment :)

Saari duniya ke liye dard
se mahmor hain jo..
Ik faqat Rehmat-e-aalam
hi ka seena dekha..

Ye sab tumhara
karam hain Aka
ke baat ab tak
bani hoyi hain..

Ehsas dein toofik dein..
Phir jazbaen Siddiq dein..

Kya ye zarra likhein
Shaan Unki, jin pe
bejhein Salaam
khud Khudai..

Quote of the moment :)

Though we might sometimes
have to struggle through thick
or thin,We will receive each
other’s support to be there to
win..And we will blossom like
this through eternity..
InshaAllah
Ameen summa ameen

Når du er forent med en
du elsker, er det ingenting
du ikke klarer :)

Gode ord skaper tillit.
Gode tanker skaper
Inderlighet. God
giverglede skaper
kjærlighet:)

Mood :)

Content.