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I`ve seen that there are a lot of asian families that are settled abroad, whom don`t seem to know the importance of learning the language of the country they settle in. Without knowing the language they face a lot of difficulties throughout their lifetime, from upbringing of their kids till when they grow old. Who haven`heard about a kid who has called to the doctor for his parents just because they can`t speak the language. The kids have to act like a grown up helping their parents understand what is said. This has an extremely bad effect on the children. Too much burden is put on their shoulders. They don`t get the chance to be kids when they ARE just kids.
Every person that lives abroad should understand that both the parents should know the language of the country they are earning their living in. Mostly what happens is that the father is out working and the mother is home taking care of the kids. But how can she help them fully without knowing enough about what`s happening outside their home or without knowing how to communicate in norwegian. She wouldn`t be able to help the kids which could lead to giving them a bad start. Which again could hunt them for the rest of their life. The kids needs support and if they won`t find it at home they`ll seek it elsewhere and could easily bump into bad company.
This issue arises mostly in families where they marry someone from Asia whom they bring abroad. Meaning that one of the partner is well established here. On the contrary the parents who came here in the late 1970 have given their children lots and lots of support to help them become a good contributer to the society. More and more of asian girls are taken higher education now. The boys are following but still are a bit behind. Finally most of these young adults are know seeing the benefit of finding a companion also brought in the same country as them, who also have parents that came from Pakistan to Norway. Maybe meaning less hassle, more understanding and supportiveness towards each other and a healthier life for the couple.
The bottom line is don`t hold back the partner in the relationship. Let both of you take the responsibility of being in an companionship. Both of you should stribe to be an active part of this society and become a wonderful parent. For that some basics are needed. And i believe that learning the language has one of the highest ranks on that list 
I`m the youngest one of my siblings, where i have mostly brothers. As being a girl and the youngest one is not the best combination always. Don`t take me wrong. Although it`s great to have brothers and everything they might be a bit overprotective about what`s happening in your life, and wants to protect you against everything almost always. I understand that they all care for me, though if everyone is going to make my decisions for me than I won`t be able to have that confidence in me to live my life and find my way. I`ve worked with this a lot and become more and more confident about myself. Though I sometimes think that what would be “death” for me is if I one day would get an overprotective husband as well.
Asian families are known as being more overprotective towards their daughters than their sons. This is the worst thing you can do to your kids. You have to have faith in your kids. Teach them all the good universal values and let them take their own decisions. Guide them don`t make their decisions! Soon the generation will change and Inshallah will the kids be brought up more equally. Inshallah they will be given the right upbringing to make them wonderful independent beings to have lots of guts to face what their life has to offer. I have a dream..
One thing is for sure though. I have been very protected in my life, but it has kept me from coming into bad company as well. So I`m thankful for that.
It`s our responsibility to inject our kids with the best values, hobbies and positive attitude, to do our best to prevent them going astray. Kids need role models to which they can be inspired to keep them on the right path.
I know there`s a common issue in asian families that when kids come into their teens they more often are misled. To prevent this they need a person they could look upto a good role model. Please, let the kids join the soccer team, the chess-club, the naat-team in the mosque, take them to the mosque as early as possible to make som good habits from the start. Guide them into reading books from an early age. Don`t let them get so bored that they go out to find some action – come in a fight to kill boredom.
Always know as to where your kids are. And when i mean know i mean, do check out if they are where they said they were going. As to kids are very smart, they could easily take advantage of the fact that; my dad/mum isn`t going to check if I`m at Mohammeds` house or shopping nearby. Some kids do need tough guidelines to keep them on track and others can be dealt with more easily. Parents nowadays aren`t always aware of their kids whereabouts. The kids are often seen in shopping malls where they hang on the corner and can bump into dangerous situations.
You as a parent need to KNOW your kids friends. Where they live, phonenumbers, what kind of people the family is in whole. That will surely create a postivie atmosphere for your kid and his/her friends. Kids need friends to have someone to share their thoughts with, sharing interest is very important and will build up their personality making them social beings.
You as a parent have the responsibility for teaching your children that girls and boys share all the household chores. You do everything at home as a team. If someone get sick we all should know how to put some food on the table for the family. Everyone should help around to keep the home tidy.
By simply being there for your kids knowing how their day has been, playing an active part in their life, you can Inshallah do miracles.. May Allah keep all the kids in the world on the straight path, and give them right guidance with the right values in life. Ameen sum ameen.
I`ve thought about this several times that one actually always learn best from one`s own experience rather than someone else`s experience. I believe that that is the best source of learning. Well oki let me elaborate what I mean I think it`s very important to listen to our elders be it a parent or anyone elder in the family. But to a certain age the kids or the youth should be given the opportunity to learn from their own experience. Like you for one tell the kids this is like this and that is like that, and then you give them free chance to make up their own choice, right. You know they`re not going to listen to you hehe 
But anyway, you give them your lecture hmm. And of course they act something you told them not to do. But you see now you have them in your hand 
Because from this they`ve learned that what the elders say is actually, well it actually makes sence and is for their own betterment. So next time you say anything to them, they`ll be thinking like he/she was right last time maybe he / she is right this time also And from there you have your kids in your hands
And another important thing never ever let the kid inside of you grow up. Once that has happened there is no way back. Like a saying in Norwegian “aldri gi slipp på barnet I deg..” But of course this does not mean that one neglects ones own responsibilities. As an adult one has certain responsibilities to ones surroundings, keep fulfilling them as best as you can:) Letting the kid in you stay alive means: let`s have some fun:) Thats all
I`ve heard a saying that goes something like
if you want to hear the truth ask the kids because you`ll get a lot of it from them
..without censor.. There`s something about this that catches my mind. Everything just gets out of their mouth without them thinking it through. This has led me to the conclusion that there has come a change between the kids that grew up before and the ones that are being brought up nowadays. I feel kids have lost their innocence. Sometimes they talk about stuff that I never even knew about when I was at their age. Although I must admit my childhood was quite protected, being the youngest sibling. Anyway the kids learn a lot at school but I reckon it’s the media that has most of their attention, internet and especially television telling the kids everything from A to Z about everything…
Maybe I`m a bit old fashioned when I say that I wish we could protect the kids more than we do. I think the parents should not let the kids watch too much television or sit on the net all by themselves. The parents should know what the children`s are watching and not let the media take over the upbringing but have the total control in their own hand. If I could influence the parents I would say never let the kids sit alone on the net or watch television without you knowing anything about the program. Be strict and become their inspiration in doing outdoor activities by setting a good example. Occupy them with healthy habits from the start, like reading books or different kinds of exercises to trim their mind as well. Just take a trip to the bookstore nearby and see if you can find something useful.
