You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Marriage’ tag.
In the west it is a common thought by most of the people who women should have the same rights as men. Though Dr. Zakir Naik had a nice lecture about the whole topic, where he said that when women are different from men biologically, physiologically and emotionally than how can they have the same role in society. Only a few yeas ago in the west it was discussed whether women had a soul. Though in Islam it was stated 1300 hundred years ago that women like men are equal and both have a soul and that she has four times higher status in Islam than what men has. Our Prophet (Pbuh) was asked by a Sahabi (companion of the Prophet) whom has the most right on me? The Prophet (pbuh) said three times that your mother has the most right on you, the fourth time he said your father. In Christianity the fault of being thrown out of Paradise was blamed on Eve (Bibi Hawa) and not on Adam (Alehi assalam). Though in Islam they both shared the blame together equally. Women in Islam were given right to have their own property and use it on what they wanted to. Men and women are shepherd’s in a flock and both the women and the men will be responsible for their flock. In Islam the women’s honour is protected, though in the west the women is degraded by being itemized to sell anything and everything in the society. How can one say that she has more rights in the West than what Islam gives her then?
In Ancient time in greek the women were used like sex-objects and the men didn`t even have to marry them, they only owned them for how long they wanted to. Islam gave women right to say no to marriage. In Islam sex is seen as something beautiful though the condition is marriage-contract. In islam the Hubby and wifey are said as to be eachothers clothing. And part of the reason that we have a clothing is to protect us and hide us. The hubby and wifey is also as near to eachother as their garments. SubhanAllah! The right for a supported life was given by this right to women far before when women was almost not seen as a human being. When they had their every month they was seen as something unclean and almost seen as the devil though in Islam Our Prophets Wife Aisha RadhiAllahtalahanhaa used to be with the Prophet when he was praying even at her monthly times when he recited the Quran with his head in her lap.
In ancient times men had a bunch of women without any marriage contract for them at all. Islam put marriage on the paper and men the right to marry four wifes in case there were any widows or orphans that needed support by marriage so they could manage economically and their children have a bright economic future. This was after a war when there were a lot of muslim widows /orphans living without any family to support them.
I believe that women are given so many more rights and their honour is protected by these rights than what the west has managed to do so far or can ever make happen. In Islam women is seen as something one protects and not shown around to everyone, while in the west there are almost naked women on posters every summer to sell everything from a car to some toothpaste. How can we then say that women has more rights in the west than what Islam gives them? We should open our minds and look for the message in Islam for women and men, because it is a wonderful message for every human being.
I have heard so many people who talk about the fact that guys can marry four women if they want no matter what. Though have they thought whether Islam have put any conditions to it? If you look up Surah Nisa, Allah says in ayat 3:
If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans(1), marry women of your choice, two, three or four (2): But if ye feel that ye may not be able to deal justly with them, then only one, or a captive that your right hand possess. That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice. (Quran 4:3).
Note 1: notice the conditional clause about orphans, introducing the rule about marriage. Marry the orphans if you are quite sure that you will in that way protect their interest or their property.
Note 2: The unrestricted number of wives of the times of ignorance was now strictly limited to maximum four, provided that you could deal justly with them.
This means that the condition to more than one woman must be that she is a widow and has orphan kids that you want to help and since this was in the time of when the muslims died in wars there were many orphans and widows at that time. It is important that we don`t forget the conditions about being equal between the wifes either. I mean in today’s society when we can`t even be equal to our kids, how can the men be equal to more than one wife, it`s impossible.
So I believe both of the condition is quite difficult to fulfil, is it then actually really allowed to marry four wives then? Nope 
De fleste har noe kunnskap om rettighetene sine i Islam. Men hvilke rett andre har over dem skaffer de ikke nok informasjon om, for å leve etter. Som feks at menn sier for å plage sin fiance at de skal ha fire koner. Men de tenker ikke på det faktum at ikke et eneste menneske her i verden greier å være rettferdig mellom flere koner. Ingen greier å være som vår Profet Muhammad (pbuh). Men det er ikke derfor mannfolk nevner dette. Det er heller for at de skal prøve å ha overtaket og tåler ikke å bli irrettesatt. Gjør man noe galt må man jo på en eller annen måte få vite det. Men når det samme skjer om og om igjen, da blir nok metoden for irrettesettelsen ikke den fineste.
Det er blitt en trend nå til dags at unge menn sier at de skal ha fire koner, uten å ha noe anelse av hvilken byrde det ville være økonomisk og ikke minst hvor liten tid de hadde hatt for den familien. De kjenner til de rettighetene som gavner dem uten å vite om alle rettightene de har i Islam til sine foreldre, sin kone, sine søstre, og sine brødre og landsmenn. Det er veldig synd at de på denne måten prøver å manipulere det andre mennesket i livet deres, som de egentlig skal være trofast mot i både gode og dårlige dager. Er dette ekte kjærlighet? Kanskje de burde lese om livet til vår profet(pbuh), om hvordan han var mot sine koner, ingen kan oppnå slik fullkommenhet som Han. Ingen menneske greier å være slik rettferdig mot sine koner, som vår Profet (pbuh). En annen sak er det at det er noen land her i Europa hvor det er forbudt med flerkoneri, og Norge er blant de landene. I verste fall kan man få fengselsstraff for slikt. Istedet for å manipulere sin andre halvdel, bør de ikke heller bruke kjærlighet til å vinne hennes gunst? Jeg mener hat avler hat, mer kjærlighet, ja hva kan det gi annet enn mer kjærlighet?
Dersom vi muslimer har mange rettigheter i islam så har også andre mennesker rettigherer over oss. Man kan ikke tenke ensidig i denne framstillingen, for å kunne bli en bra muslim. Som f eks har foreldrene masse rett over barna sine når de blir gamle, samtidig har også barna rett på at foreldrene gir dem tid. Det går begge veier. Man kan ikke gå igjennom hele livet uten å ha lagt tid og arbeid i sine barn og så forvente at barna skal ta seg av dem når de blir godt voksne. Men i islam, dersom barna har nok vett i seg vil de uansett ta godt vare på sine eldre. Det kommer helt an på hvilken type oppvekst de har fått.
Den eneste løsningen på dette her er å lese mer om islam om de viktige personene i vår historie og lære av deres handlinger og deres tenkemåter, om hvordan en skal oppføre seg i ulike situasjoner. Dersom våre eldre generasjon har gjort noen feil i sine liv bør vi i det minste prøve å lære av de feilene, enn å gjøre de samme feilene som dem. Det beste er at for hver generasjon som vokser er at man har framgang og ikke at man tilbakegang.
Dowry is very common in India/Pakistan and is some of the reasons why people hate that they will get a baby-girl instead of a baby-boy. Because some day they will have to pay to get her married. Is someone buying her? NO, so why this tradition? We listen to the news that the family of men have long lists that they need a car and electronic devices and so many things that the brides family have difficulties having enough money to pay this. If this is the case of one girl, think if someone has a lot of sisters, what will happen to them. What future are they bringing the girl into? That one day someone is going to put a price on them, if you can’t give …. than the groom won`t marry her. This is so un-ethical. Doesn`t anyone who has a sister, think that she is also one day going to get married, are you guys going to sell her to someone? I believe not all the people think like that, but then again if this wasn`t a big issue in India / Pakistan why does people hate that they are having a baby-girl and take abortion some people goes to this extent that they sell their child, because they don`t have enough money to raise the child.
The bride has a right to receiving dowry from her husband which is written on their wedding day, even so their own families doesn`t let her use her right. For instance I`ve heard about families where the bride is asking for permission to take talaq as she can be given that, but her family doesn`t let her. Or even that her dowry which she is supposed to decide herself, she is not given that right at all. Although I agree that money is not everything and the fact that the dowry of the woman is much or little doesn`t make any big difference as long as she is happy with her husband. And of course at the time our sahabah lived the dowry between a bride and the groom was put to achieving more knowledge about Islam. That is so beautiful and inspiring.
Though what I do not like is that some people try to oppress women just because they don`t have “loud voice” and that is totally unacceptable. Women should not be forced or pressured by their family to make certain choices. In Islam women has the right just like men to say no to marriage, though we don`t give the women her right, and decide for her, thinking that she doesn`t know better. We can`t lock women inside her home forever. She has the right to get as much education she wants, and that right is given from our Prophet (pbuh). She is an individual and should be given the right to make her own choices. We should try to lessen her difficulties and let her journey be without hurdles. We woman can`t fight for our rights without the cooperation from the men in our family`s because they are the one whom oppress woman mostly and not the other way around. We should try our out most to live up to the values our Prophet has made. Just read his books about his seerah / hadees and understand how beautiful character he has and how well he maintained his relation to his wifes and other ties of kinship.
The issues of todays upbringing is that the family’s give their children different rights depending on their gender. They “tie up” their daughters and doesn`t let them go out and they let their sons live without boundaries and do anything. BOTH IS WRONG. This type of upbringing can if not avoided lead to difficulties later in their lives. Both girls and boys need to be given an upbringing with boundaries and an islamic upbringing from day one, with the seerah of our Propeth (pbuh) as our role-model, only than we will prosper.
In Norway most of the issues arises when the parents don`t give their children an islamic upbringing and that they are out earning money instead of giving their children some precious time that will teach them values they can implement in their lives. So the kids grow up become adults with all the good and the bad things that are in a society. And when the grown ups are ready for marriage the problems arises. The parents have different set of values then their children so who will they get married to? Will the children like the groom that the parents choose or the other way around.
The new generation can make a change. All we need is more knowledge about our Islam and some determination, strong will and guidance from above. InshaAllah we will make a change. Ameen summa ameen
At the time when the Prophet (pbuh) lived and the time of the Prophethood arose, the muslim people married more than once. Even for the women it was normal that if their husband passed away or they divorced, she was married again. This was to keep her secure and so that she and her children were fed and had someone who would take care of their household. It wasn`t seen as a bad thing for any other man if the woman was a “divorcy” or if she was a widow, again she got married even so. Just look at the Prophet (pbuh) his first marriage to Khadijah (rah) was a widow and a “divorcy” but he didn’t refuse to marry her.
Todays society we look more to what our traditions are our cultural background plays a big role in guiding us. We should rather be looking at our religion, what it says and follow that. Men nowadays do have difficulties marrying a widow or a divorcy and don`t even propose to women like that. It is so sad and not what our religion and sunnah has guided us to follow. On the other hand men who have married a lot of times still thinks like that and remarries with another virgin. It is really sad that these women have difficulties finding a husband to remarry just because of our cruel traditions. Cant we break them if they aren`t according to Islam?
The Prophet (pbuh) has said:
” This world is just temporary convenience, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous woman”. (Muslim).
Instead at looking at woman’s beauty or their money one should actually be looking for a person with good character and someone whom wants to follow Islam and be a practising Muslimah.
I think for each and every person that claims he/she is a muslim there is a great responsibility if they want to prosper that they learn more about our religion and what it says, AND follow that, not any cultural law or tradition that has nothing to do with Islam. Allah sab ke haq me behtar faisla karein. May Allah guide us, including me, to increase our knowledge about Islam. Ameen summa ameen.
Nowadays joint family’s aren`t that common as before. Though I grew up in a joint family and have both positive and negative things to say about it. Since I have been taking Islam more serious now than before a lot of other issues pop up as the days goes by. And one is what Islam says about joint family’s. Living in a family where there might be non-mahrams as well. I was reading another book and want to share what it says about the issue.
This is a problem many people suffer, such as when there are two brothers in one house and one of them is married. It is not permissable for the married brother to leave his wife with his brother, if he goes out to work or study because the Prophet (pbuh) said :
A man may not be secluded with a woman. (Muslim).
Beware of entering the presence of women.
They said ” O Messenger of Allah! What about the in-laws of the wife?
He said:The in-laws are death. (Al Bukhari and Muslim).
When we are trying our up most to follow our Islam as best as we can than this is an issue we also need to think about when one is going to get married. The solution could be to live in separate houses, though nearby ones family.
