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Each and every person of us can sometime or the other get a bit upset or down and would need a bit of a push in the right direction from their friends or surroundings.
Sometimes people motivate you so much that you manage to do what you thought you couldn`t manage before or ever. Those people would always bring out the best in you. Instead of pulling your leg they will actually be the reason behind why you are where you are today – and ever so succesful. SubhanAllah 
If you are surrounded by someone like that you have ever so much to be thankful and grateful for, because these kinds of people are a treasure to humanity 
Saying thanks to people means that you say thanks to Allah, and anyone whom doesn`t say thanks to people does not say thanks to Allah. So thank you:)You know who you are:) Some people are so unselfish, they believe in you when no one else did believe in you, they motivate you when every one else have left your side. They are always there to say something that would make you stand after you fall. SubhanAllah, and Alhamdolillah! Thank you for being who you are:)
Sometimes some people go the other way around. A few individuals would be the first one to tell you when you have done something wrong, but never pat your back when you have done something good or great. I can`t understan why people do this. Shouldn`t they let you know in all circumstances. When you do something wonderful or achieve something they, that they would say “wonderful for you”.
I guess one understands whom are your real well-wishers. It`s those people whom back you up when no-one else wants to know about you. I`ve understood one thing. That is, when someone is succesful, everyone wants to talk with you and do stuff for you and be with you and stuff, and that is to cherish. But those people are only to be cherished if they actually would want to be with you also when you’re not succesful or when your life is not going well. If they are with you in your ups and downs, then they are your real well-wishers and you should hold on to them. If you have people like that in your surroundings than you should be thankful, because you have every reason for being that. May Allah keep us all in the most pious of people`s company and make us a succesful slave of His (Allahs). Ameen summa ameen
For a little time now when I`m outside and I see muslim girls and women without a hijab, I sort of think in my head that wouldn`t it be nice if she also wore hijab. There are a lot of muslim women whom don`t use hijab. I even think like that when I see members from my own family. Wouldn`t it be wonderful if the girls and women out there could see the beauty in wearing hijab? To not let any other person see them without the headscarf. I think most of the women wants to wear hijab but some things prevent them from starting. Like if they will get a proper rishta or if they will lose their friends or if their surroundings would think that they have become too strict in everything so they might lose their friendships.
These people are just unaware of the fact that what should make a difference in their life is not what other people might say, nobody can please each and every person in this world. Some people are always going to be displeased with what you do as some others are going to be pleased with what you do, because we people have different mindsets. What should actually matter for every Muslimah is the fact that what their Lord, Allah says about the matter because ultimately it is to Him you are going back after your life here on the earth. The rules are simple, follow Allah’s laws and He will be happy, not follow and He will become angry. If we try our out most to live our life’s according to Islam we would become more satisfied about ourselves as well, as we are trying to do our best.
The best friendships are those whom guide you to a better path and righteousness. If one thinks of losing ones friends think if Allah is with you, you don`t need any other on you side and if Allah Subhanwuatalah is angry with you no other person can ever help you out of your worries as Allah is the only one Who can do that. Put your trust in Allah and He will take care of the rest.
If someone won`t marry just because you use hijab than that person does not have his priorities right and can most certainly not be a good muslim. A person whom helps you to do more righteous deeds so that our Allah will be pleased, that is the one to hold on to. Because in the hereafter inshaAllah people with these mindset do prosper. And so your final destination Jannah is to be achieved.
I`ve always thought about this a lot. I would like my husband to be, to pray salat and be a good muslim. And have a motivation to do good in every situation in life. Just so that we also can have a chance to prosper. Someone whom follows the universal islamic guidelines and wants to strive to become a better person. One whom has the right priorities in life and wants to achieve eternal bliss. That is muslim would be a perfect husband.
If you look for dunya when you live in dunya that is all you will achieve. So you will be the one whom loses in the hereafter. Though if you live in dunya but are earning good deeds for the hereafter, than that will be your eternal place, a mansion in jannah, inshaAllah.
May Allah bless us all and guide us to always follow the straight path that leads to eternal bliss. Ameen summa ameen.
I don`t have a lot of friends and there is a reason behind that. Which is that my experience is that mostly friends are not to be trusted. Some of them they give wrong advice and then oneself come into trouble or they might try to mislead you somehow so that they can gain something. Of course not all are like this, but I can say i haven`t been the luckiest in choosing friends. Those few friends I have i know i can trust, but i have stopped having contact with people whom i don`t know that much. Because I don’t know their real intention when they are friendly to me. Koi dosron ko ekdam parakh lete hain, for others take more time in understanding who your true friends are. I`ve had so many bad experiences that I hardly trust anyone anymore.
One should be careful whom one confides with because friends ones becoming the worst enemies, can make the biggest harm to yourself and your loved ones. So be wise:) The little circle of friends I have I know I can trust, can you say the same about your friends?
No one has the right to take away my sence of security. It shouldn`t be like that. But unfortunately that`s what happens. There was a gang war not that far from where I live. And it scared me so much. The night the gangs met, there was a helicopter flying over our houses to see if they could catch the gang members. So many times something happens in the media I try my best to protect myself by not reading it, but this time i heard the shots from my house, although i thought it was something else, until I heard about what happened the day after.
I hope and pray that people try to take good care of their children, so that they don`t have enough leisure time to do anything wrong. I hope parents can take their responsibilities even more serious so that their kids don`t don`t get wrong friends or come into any bad environment. This is crucial for all of us. After all if any of anyone`s kids does something it is the whole community they blame, not just that person, so I hope the parents and each and every of us can be good role-models, so they have someone to look up to. For the younger generation at least. And for all of us, I would say the seerah of Prophet Muhammad and his family is the best motivation to become the best people we can.
This issue can be common in some families, between spouses, between friends, other people or at work. What happens is that people try to manipulate you into behaving like they want you to, by giving you a guilt-trip. I`m sure a lot of you may have experienced that some persons in your life make you feel bad about you making your own decisions. They would come with remarks like; “how can you be so selfish?” or “after all that I have done for you…” What they`re actually implying indirectly is that if you don’t behave the way they want you to, you will suffer. A blackmailer could threaten to use information they have gained before to harm or ruin person`s reputation. What actually happens is this:
1. The blackmailer is demanding something.
2. You resist.
3. The blackmailer pressurize you and threatens you
4. Eventually you give in.
5. It repeats.
This is a vicious circle that keeps on blocking you from living a free life. You may feel trapped and don’t know what to do. Guilt-trips have to do with the blackmailers making us believe that we are responsible for their complaints and their unhappiness. A blackmailer would use a sentence like “I`m feeling … and it`s your fault.” Sometimes we are able to stop the guilt-trip by checking the accusations reliability, but many times we would say “sorry” before we check the blackmailer`s logic later, if we check it at all.
When someone is not able to make us feel bad enough about something, they would call for reinforcements. They would bring in other people, family/ friends, enlisting allies to prove that they are right and you`re wrong… Just so that the target may feel outnumbered or overpowered.. Always remember one thing the blackmailer wants you to think that it`s all about you. When in fact it`s not. Actually it`s the blackmailer that is insecure and fears something so he/she has a need to prove his/her self-righteousness. And so everything is tossed on you. Sometimes it`s difficult for one to understand that others demands can be quite unreasonable so you give the blackmailing permission to occur.
To stop the emotional blackmailing it`s important that you resist and you change your reactions to it. The most useful way to change a manipulator is to make that person`s tactics ineffective by changing yourself. If the manipulation turns out to be hard work for the manipulator he/she would probably give up. This is a sentence that can be quite useful: “I understand that you want me to do this work for you, but your threats aren`t going to be effective anymore”. Keep on saying the sentence till the blackmailer stops the manipulation and finally sees that no matter what he/she would do he/she isn`t coming any way. And from there and forward make it clear to the manipulator how you want to be treated.
-Extracts taken out from the book “Emotional Blackmail”, written by Susan Forward Ph.D.
One doesn`t need to have kids oneself to see the amount of pressure which they are put through nowadays. Different kinds of channels have different kinds of programs, that most of the kids would do anything to watch almost all day if they could. The thing is that kids are really pressurized a lot, nowadays maybe lots more than before. Even though I remember the pressure from when I grew up as well. Though talking about today kids have to buy certain clothes and certain shoes to fit in their friends click. A lot of the kids measure the others in what brand they are wearing. It does matter which part of the town your kid’s school is placed. Mostly I would say it depends on how their parents look at this issue and what kind of values they inject in their children. Although the type of friends they have also makes a difference. Because of the media I would say kids are under a lot of pressure to fit in and get the “right” friends to get popular.
This make me think about those ones whose parents maybe can`t afford every expensive thing they have on their list and maybe a lot of stuff that others easily buy, they can`t. I`ve thought about it sometimes that for instance if you send your kid out with an ice cream, and a lot of other kids can`t afford, hypothetically speaking, how would that make them feel? Do you think this will increase their self-confidence or not? Not only that, the other kids make fun of those kids that can`t afford it. They wave the ice cream in his/her face and says “really delicious chocolate flavour, so bad you don`t have one”. Would you say nice or cruel person? You get the picture. If kids do something like this than I hope their parents stop them. And if adults are making their kids do this than Allah please inhein hidayat ata karein. If adults have this kind of attitude towards other adults, than Allah inhein bhi hidayat ata karein. (Ameen sum ameen). This reminds me of the thought that for instance in Islam we don`t eat food in front of someone who maybe fasting, do we? Nope, that would be cruel. I would say this goes in a sort thinking that you don`t want the other to feel bad about fasting.
In Pakistan where there`s a big class difference, much more than here in Norway. The schools solve that in a different manner. They have uniforms for the kids. Though I`m not that sure if it works, cause kids can still have expensive accessorize. I believe a lot parents that are familiar with this group pressure, really take time before they decide which school their kid should enrol in. And I`m sure I`m going to emphasize that when I will be a parent myself one day. Allah sab ke haq me behtar faisla karein. Ameen sum ameen.
